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Medical Managing Medical Stressors and Potential Triggers


One of the biggest stressors for me is anything to do with medicine. That's grown from having emotional issues and upsets when dealing with providers (hospitals, doctors, etc.) to those same issues and upsets with just seeing related things--like ads, articles, newsclips, etc.

I was a registered nurse and worked on a psych unit for five years. My dad was a physician's assistant. My brother works in physical therapy, his wife is a nurse, and my nephew is going into health and fitness. I worked for 16 years for a medical company, and I currently work for a medical company. It's been hard for me to escape.

I'm fine with family if we don't talk about it. But I have gone from being a regular and compliant patient to avoiding medical care at all--well, most--costs. I still engage, but only when absolutely necessary.

I've been the recipient of many instances of neglectful, poor care, have witnessed and been the recipient of care that would consitute malpractice, have had countless experiences of providers refusing to hear me, which always resulted in needing extended care. So I think all of this feeds that lack of trust (that terror) that comes from having to deal with anything medicine related.

But it's not just that. It's observing and seeing how medicine is in this country (US). How so few truly work in the service of the patient. How little care there is for how decisions affect the whole patient. How, when decisions affect a patient in a way that will change their lives, no one really cares. It's the institutions behind the people, but the people have become so indoctrinated in the way things are "suppposed" to be, that they are incapable of thinking for themselves.

This is my biggest issue right now. And it spills over into other institutions as well. I've come to believe that, generally, institutions of all kinds exist only for their ability to make a profit.

I struggle with this every day, and I have no way to manage or get beyond it.
Sorry to hear that you're struggling with this issue... I'm not overly fond about the way healthcare in the US operates these days either. It's not just the aspect of it's becoming another frustrating "necessary evil", but the issues that you point out seem very real. I've spoken with other people who don't have trauma issues too, just to get their perspective, and by and large, they recognize the same things. I say that so that I can feel confident that it's just not me and my MH issues... I'm not crazy!! LoL.

What happens with you, internally, when you need to go to an appointment? Stress, anxiety, anger? Those are some things that come up for me as I deal with health issues.
gentle empathy, raven. i don't have anywhere near your background, nor do i stress over it every day, but i share your ???? whatchamacallit ???? on the days where i might wish for a second opinion on my self-care. i believe it was somewhere in the 80's that i last felt like i was speaking to healers when i visit a doctors office. these days i feel like i am talking to lawyers and insurance agents. you keep your money grubbing fingers away from my private parts! ! !

my last physical was 1995. when i need antibiotics or what not, i go to a minor emergency clinic and pay cash for the second opinions.
What happens with you, internally, when you need to go to an appointment? Stress, anxiety, anger? Those are some things that come up for me as I deal with health issues.
Thanks for asking, and welcome, @Ted01.

My initial reaction--to appointments, talking to these people on the phone, knowing I *have* to talk to them on the phone, etc.--is extreme anxiety. Trouble breathing, tears, and more tears. I often put off doing what I need to do--I've waited months to make appointments, call providers about bills, return calls. Then, if they've done something that feels dismissive (to me or just generally), I get angry, rageful sometimes. And also, at some point, end up in tears, sobbing that can go on for hours.

I can manage the breathing, but the only thing that seems to help the others is complete avoidance.
when i need antibiotics or what not, i go to a minor emergency clinic
I started going to a clinic (as opposed to a private physician) in 2020, and I do a little better there. They feel less judgmental and less focused on ordering every test in the book.
The biggest reason I have benzos is medical stuff. Just getting blood tests.....which I do regularly because I have a chronic illness is difficult..

It's not just the US. It's everywhere. There are a few that truly care. Even less that take the time to put together a whole picture and figure out whats really wrong. It's become so much of a "slap a bandaid on and give them pills" trade that even putting all the symptoms together and seeing if they equal something takes more time than they want to spend.

As for even a basic mental health diagnoses from those symptoms - forget it. 47 years with literally weeks in hospital with my chronic illness and nothing. Matter of fact had to start the process toward finding I had PTSD myself, after reading about the symptoms and checking every box......
Pain is an ongoing issue, but it's maybe the lack of care with regard to it that is more emotionally bothersome for me right now. I have fibromyalgia and costochondritis, arthritis, and pain associated--I think--with two injuries. That latter is what is bothering me most right now. My right ankle has been swollen since I fell 2-3 years ago, and my foot now on the side is swollen, and has been since a fall mid-March. Everybody wants me to exercise and walk, but there is sooo much pain. I've told every single doctor I've seen, several times, and every single time I get an "hm...yeah, that *is* swollen" and a blow-off as far as the pain goes.

Here's the thing. For folks who have no issue with depression or any other mental health challenge, pain can be debilitating. For those of us who do, added physical pain that goes untreated or ignored by healthcare can be deadly. I have been to lots of doctors--and no one cares that I can't walk--and I just can't continue to keep trying. I can't afford it, I have lost every ounce of trust I had in the medical community, and there are days I'd just rather be dead.

It's been a long while since I felt like that, but...here we are.