Too scared to relive it and talk about it out loud
gentle empathy on that score. i started psychotherapy with full trauma induced amnesia. it took me more than a decade to figure out why everybody kept saying, "amnesia" like it was a bad thing. i had blocked memory of my entire childhood, but i had plenty of evidence to believe it was worth forgetting. i saw those memory blocks as a tabla rasa. a clean slate on which to write a brand new beginning.
it wasn't until the cumulative memory damage from preserving those memory blocks caught up with me that i decided blackouts and premature dementia were scarier than remembering my life as a child prostitute. the lesser poison?