I am stuck in that I lived with my grandmother the first years of my life. I was a bother as she had already raised 5 girls and she was elderly. She was a very cold woman. There was no bonding, warmth or nurturing. I have no memory of my mother until the day I had the German measles. It was the first warmth I had felt from any human. I have tried and tried to remember those first 5 years. I have no idea where my mother was and I have no one to ask as they have all passed. Will anything open up that dark time?