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Other Memory loss

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Nam

MyPTSD Pro
I seem to have an issue with remembering events. It really came to my attention on Wednesday when I ran into someone I had met and had a conversation with 3 weeks ago. I knew I knew her, my feelings about her were good. But I couldn’t place her. As soon as she started to tell me what we talked about, I could recall where we sat and that I gave her my card.
I’ve known all my life that I don’t remember well. I can remember procedural memory, muscle memory, feelings and music. But if you asked me what I did for my birthday, I couldn’t tell you. I have to be jogged a lot.
There’s some information about the correlation, but I wondered if any of you happen to have difficulty making memories. It makes me really upset sometimes. Makes me look stupid, or it hurts someone’s feelings because I don’t remember something that was meaningful. Any insight is appreciated.
 
I can very much relate and it’s a huge frustration for me. Especially since I think I had a really good memory even 10 years ago. I’m not yet the age to have even early onset dementia.

Procedural memory is fine, but it’s events and people, tasks I need to complete often vanish unless I write it down and set reminders, same with scheduling. I can’t remember what I did even one day prior sometimes unless I have clues. If I’m heavily triggered by something, I can operate on what seems like autopilot and not remember conversations that happened an hour prior.

There’s some literature out there that discusses the effects of prolonged stress and chronic ptsd on the hippocampus - which is where memory resides. That excess cortisol can destroy cells, which will then affect how our memory functions.
I’m in no way a scientist and am only regurgitating some things I’ve read....but it makes sense to me. Helps me understand that my memory trouble is not because I’m stupid or not trying hard enough.

Would you say your stress levels are higher when you notice memory trouble?

If there’s TBI of any degree, I think that will also affect memory.

Sorry, no real answer. But I struggle with it too.
 
I seem to have an issue with remembering events. It really came to my attention on Wednesday when I ran into someone I had met and had a conversation with 3 weeks ago. I knew I knew her, my feelings about her were good. But I couldn’t place her. As soon as she started to tell me what we talked about, I could recall where we sat and that I gave her my card.
I’ve known all my life that I don’t remember well. I can remember procedural memory, muscle memory, feelings and music. But if you asked me what I did for my birthday, I couldn’t tell you. I have to be jogged a lot.
There’s some information about the correlation, but I wondered if any of you happen to have difficulty making memories. It makes me really upset sometimes. Makes me look stupid, or it hurts someone’s feelings because I don’t remember something that was meaningful. Any insight is appreciated.

@Nam I don't recall as much from times of active trauma. I then, spent a lot of time dissociating.....a safety mechanism....and I'm only taking a shot at this question of yours about a disconnect in remembering......Memory is a combination of all one's senses and feelings. If you do have memories, feelings are always in my case....and I think many others attached....as are the most important things that "stucked with you". whether it is fear, love, a happy time, or something terrible...whether it was funny, or sad, or motivating....or just really cool.

On the other hand, I believe a memory requires a visual picture which includes a feeling and if we aren't attached to our emotions......which are powerful....then I think our brain has trouble retaining the material (like I cooked a pot of soup, washed my hair, went for a ride-mundane things that are everyday.....they don't get remembered as special) and when nothing out of the ordinary or memorable happened that we "felt" we had no reason to "keep the memory." I don't know about your brain, but I think it needs a reason and a feeling to encode the memory for long term storage. I'm not sure how are brain is wired and why it remembers some things and not others. But I sometimes wish I had a video camera in my head to support my memory....with a lifetime battery.

We often compartmentalize the traumatic memories when they are too overwhelming (protective action on the part of the body)....and when we dissociate (a different way to escape and feel safe but we are not in touch with our emotions-I believe during this time we may not make memories because there is no feeling attached-and we are zoning out....not actively using our senses)....I think a part of us "protects us" by not allowing us to have access to the bad or overwhelming memories or keeps them from us. Unfortunately, events surrounding trauma also get "lost" and compartmentalized.
For those of us who dissociate, and did it a lot, our memories have holes...and sometimes big ones. While the upside to dissociation is a feeling of safety and maybe kinda numb...the down side is that we are not making memories for later retrieval because we are not grounded and feeling and sensing.

Two years ago, I couldn't remember from moment to moment. So, I found that when I couldn't recall where I just laid something (like keys) I stop and close my eyes, and "ask inside" where are the keys and make a reasonable request to any of me that was listening.....hidden protective parts...giving an explanation as to why I need them. The more I practiced this and communicated internally with parts that are protective or little and confused (or fearful) the more things I could find....the more things both in the short term and long term I could recall (because my parts began to trust me...and they'd give up the goods I wanted...my memories. Trusting myself....and my parts trusting me....a huge barrier to overcome to have more access to memories of just about anything. Staying grounded....practicing this regularly....a huge piece of improving memory retrieval. Over time, acknowledging the parts inside has led to much more accurate recall the first time. Now, I rarely don't know where I placed things....and can usually get an answer to where to look because of dealing with the internal parts and building trust.

And finally, organizing my environment, so everything has a clean and clear visual place.....makes it easier on me to make memories daily and recall things, or events.....when everything was a mess and disorganized....so was my memory.
 
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