Missed Therapy Today

[Copper Princess]

I went to my therapist's office and the receptionist was not at her desk. As I am waiting more and more people were coming in. I cannot handle being in a small room with a lot of people. The receptionist finally tells me she will let her know I was there but I still waited for 15 mins. My therapist knows I can't handle being in small rooms with a lot of people. I told the receptionist I had to leave and I would reschedule. She said she was sorry but my therapist was on the phone. I told her I was sorry but I just could not wait in that waiting room any more. I called my therapist to reschedule but had to leave a message and I have not gotten a return call. Now I am really angry at myself. I am really trying with therapy but I feel like I failed myself because I had to leave. Ugh!!

 

[desiderata310]

Yeah. don't feel like a failure. My therapist and I had to work something gout where I come in at 7:30 and he locks the door so that other people don't accidentally show up while I'm in session because I will bolt- straight up run out the door.
therapists get it. Go easy on yourself

 

[BlueOrange]

Now that you can understand what happened more clearly, perhaps have a phone conversation about waiting somewhere nearby where it's quieter, if this happens again.

 

[lux.]

Maybe next time you could wait in your car and your therapist could come out and get you when he or she is available. I hate being in a small, crowded room, too, so it's totally understandable that you couldn't wait there for a long time. You tried your best and stayed as long as you could.

 

[kilted]

Yes.... work out some kind of system that keeps you feeling OK....if that's not possible think about finding a therapist who can meet your needs. Since the most important part of therapy is the "safe and trusting relationship" it's going to be harder and take longer if you don't feel safe in the waiting room.

 

[Copper Princess]

Thank you everyone. I will talk to her again. I hope we can figure something out. I am trying not to give up. I have major trust issues with therapists and this did not help.

 

[Friday]

Sounds like you did good, to me.

You pushed your boundaries. You stayed aware of how you were doing. Before the boundary snapped and you had a meltdown or zoned out, you took appropriate action (which means you were really monitoring yourself well, to give yourself enough time to speak with the receptionist before leaving). After you removed yourself from the situation, you did the grown up thing and called to reschedule (and sounds like you even left a message about rescheduling!).

Looks to me like the only real piece to work on is not beating yourself up for doing everything exactly right, to take care of you.

 

[Freedomfighter]

I went to my therapist's office and the receptionist was not at her desk. As I am waiting more...

Well, your post is sad, the fact that you are not able to be in the room is totally understandable, I hate such situations too. But what strikes me is the fact that if the therapist is too busy, and maybe has too many patients to do a good job with every patient, may need to scale back.
It would be of a disservice to patients if the doctor has too many patients and can not concentrate on the single patient. One sees that in hospitals many times. The physicians are so rushed, the health care suffers, they listen only with one ear, hurry the patient through the procedure and then hurry to document what was done.
That seems to be very common in America. I am so happy I do not have to rely on that system, incredibly happy about that. I don't think I would ever have gotten healthy if I would have had to partake in the choices that so many unfortunate patients have to partake in. That would have killed me, literally.....

 

[Copper Princess]

Sounds like you did good, to me.

You pushed your boundaries. You stayed aware of how you were doing. Be...

Thank you!

Well, your post is sad, the fact that you are not able to be in the room is totally understandab...

Thank you!

 

[Teamwork]

I'm pretty aware of the great lengths my t goes to, to ensure I feel safe. He unplugs phone, fridge, and has turned heat off so blower doesn't randomly come on and scare me in to flight mode. He walks me to the door and looks for my driver when we are done. If I come in and he is not ready and I get anxious and leave he opens the door and waves at me when he is ready. I sometimes go a little way up the sidewalk just to stop the heart pounding so bad if I can't handle waiting room. I also suspect he does a bit of client juggling mostly around me for appointments. So I'm on a Friday where he may only consult with his office staff as the appointment before me and then just do office work after me so that likelyhood of me running into people in waiting room is greatly reduced. I have complex ptsd did and am doing ritual abuse work.

 

[Cocobird]

You behaved very well. You tried, and did what you needed to do to feel comfortable. I have problems being in rooms with a lot of people too.