Mixed feelings about possible rehire

MaplePancake

Learning
So I got an email from my former place of employment which was a hospital. I feel a contradictory mix of thoughts. I am happy that they did not put me on a do not rehire list. I feel less depressed knowing I have some options in my life. As I am not working and mainly sleeping and lounging around I feel I need to seriously consider this opportunity.
Here is my problem. Right now, I can not tolerate a lot of change or newness. Mentally I require routine. I know there will always be some learning or adjustment, but my brain gets excited enough even with the life I have now. And I am living like a clam!
so I think I would need to be on the same shift. A lot of the same people and same routine. The problem is my former office manger. He actually is a decent guy. The problem is he looks like someone in my past who was Very verbally abusive. And I therefore have never felt at ease with him.
I am looking for anything. whether it is sold advice or support or even criticism if that could be helpful
thanks guys.
 

StillPen

MyPTSD Pro
Definitely no criticism here, you know yourself best and if I had someone reminding me of my abuser, that would not be exposure therapy I could tolerate, it would be re-traumatizing...so weigh the Pros and Cons with that in mind.

For me, routine is key as well. Same shift may work. Maybe telling your would be office manager a light version of the truth is an option? Maybe it would diffuse the connection a bit. Especially if this guy is NOT verbally abusive? Just a thought.

Also, maybe see if they could start you part time and let you work up to a full load to see if you could manage the change slowly?

I feel I should "get back to full-time" work as well. That maybe the structure and busy-ness would help...but I have two good days, then fall apart on the third, so for me, not yet.

It feels great to be 'wanted' right?!? Good for you on that, no matter what you decide.

Good luck.
 

MaplePancake

Learning
Thanks. Yeah, I think it would definitely be a trigger. The other guy used my mistakes and weaknesses as an excuse to scream at and belittle me, so right now any type of critical feedback I don’t respond well to even if that feedback is justified. And he kinda would have to tell me when and where I need to improve in order to do his job.
 
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