Mood swings

[No More]

Hi, I hope this is the right place for posting this - new here!

My mood swings are seriously kicking my ass at the moment. Like I swear I give myself whiplash I can’t keep up with it.
Monday I was perfectly fine, Wednesday I was suicidal. I am running from fine to angry to sobbing to just f*cking every sort of uncontrollable shit. I am currently so f*cking agitated I want to chew all my skin off.
They’ve never been like this far out of control I can’t seem to regulate in any which way.

I’m still busy screaming at anyone who’ll listen that I absolutely do not have ptsd, my traumas weren’t even bad and my therapist is crackers.

I am just hanging on by my fingertips and I could really really use some advice or commiseration because I feel completely like shit.

 

[beaneeboo]

Hi, I hope this is the right place for posting this - new here!

My mood swings are seriously kicking my ass at the moment. Like I swear I give myself whiplash I can’t keep up with it.
Monday I was perfectly fine, Wednesday I was suicidal. I am running from fine to angry to sobbing to just f*cking every sort of uncontrollable shit. I am currently so f*cking agitated I want to chew all my skin off.
They’ve never been like this far out of control I can’t seem to regulate in any which way.

I’m still busy screaming at anyone who’ll listen that I absolutely do not have ptsd, my traumas weren’t even bad and my therapist is crackers.

I am just hanging on by my fingertips and I could really really use some advice or commiseration because I feel completely like shit.

I'm not sure I'm one to advise but I hear you and am sitting with you... hopefully that's not annoying to read! You won't be alone with these thoughts and feelings...

Can you get out and use some physical exercise or do something to use up that agitated energy you have?

 

[No More]

@beaneeboo thank you. Definitely not annoying I just feel I can’t take much more of this so it’s nice to be heard.
I have a really physical job so I have been trying to exercise it out, and even though it’s dark I’ve just gone out and done 30 mins of throwing stuff around.

I feel like I’m going crazy. Like absolutely mind breaking stir crazy. It’s like someone opened the box of shit in my brain and everything is completely out of control.

 

[beaneeboo]

@beaneeboo thank you. Definitely not annoying I just feel I can’t take much more of this so it’s nice to be heard.
I have a really physical job so I have been trying to exercise it out, and even though it’s dark I’ve just gone out and done 30 mins of throwing stuff around.

I feel like I’m going crazy. Like absolutely mind breaking stir crazy. It’s like someone opened the box of shit in my brain and everything is completely out of control.

Well done for getting out... it might feel like it but you're not going crazy.. your body is just doing what it needs to do right now... it will pass... you're not alone in this...

Can you distract yourself if you don't want to sit with it....with a good film? Or music? Or bath? Book? Learning something...?

Just throwing ideas out feel free to ignore!!

 

[Friday]

Ahhhh… The PTSD Rollercoaster. 😵‍💫 Such a total pain in the ass.

Stress management helps on the whole emotional regulation front, which is great; ANY port in a storm, but faaawk me it’s still brutal.

The ptsd cup explanation

Nearly a decade ago (2006) I wrote The PTSD Cup Explanation, a simple view of how PTSD causes symptoms in day-to-day life. This article is an update to that original piece. Regardless of the type of trauma endured, the PTSD Cup does not change, deviate or apply differently to your circumstance...

www.myptsd.com

 

[No More]

Ahhhh… The PTSD Rollercoaster. 😵‍💫 Such a total pain in the ass.

Stress management helps on the whole emotional regulation front, which is great; ANY port in a storm, but faaawk me it’s still brutal.

The ptsd cup explanation

Nearly a decade ago (2006) I wrote The PTSD Cup Explanation, a simple view of how PTSD causes symptoms in day-to-day life. This article is an update to that original piece. Regardless of the type of trauma endured, the PTSD Cup does not change, deviate or apply differently to your circumstance...

www.myptsd.com

At the moment that damn coaster has dunked me in a lake & has me upside down by the ankles giving me a good shake.

Thanks for the article. Never figured ‘good’ stress could contribute. Poxy job, shame when it’s going well it’s feckin brilliant. 95% shit but that 5% is so damn good I’m hooked 😩🤣

 

[Friday]

@No More LMAO… IKR?!?

The only good thing about the PTSD-Rollercoaster I’ve ever found is coming to understand how… temporary… it all is.

I had a mini-explosion of that whilst pregnant; same time every day, for an hour or two, I was screaming suicidal out of my damn mind tie myself up kind of thing. THAT? Was pure hormones, and it runs in my family, and it came AFTER the first time I was PTSD symptomatic. So it created this odd bridge? The first time I was symptomatic I was feral-as-f*ck. There was no distance between thought & action, I was running purely on instinct for years.

But after surviving that (pure luck), then getting pregnant in the middle of being asymptomatic, and dealing with these crazy hormone spikes? The second time I became symptomatic with PTSD, it sorta clicked. Oh. This. Again. Fine this morning, shit by nightfall. Or the reverse. Or today I’ve got the world by the balls and tomorrow I’m in the depths of despair whilst yesterday was unadulterated rage? All the UPS! and doooooooowns and bashing about side to side lost their power.

 

[No More]

I need a hazard warning. Today is rage. No reason, haven’t even spoken to anyone yet.

I hate this because some stupid thing will set me off and I will explode. It’s like I can see it coming and I don’t know how to stop it. There’s a distance knowing how I am likely to act, and I can try to prevent myself, but when that thing makes me snap it’s instant.

 

[Freddyt]

I need a hazard warning. Today is rage. No reason, haven’t even spoken to anyone yet.

Bigget part??? Manage that PTSD Cup. Watch it Monitor It, pay attention to it. Find things that empty it. Keep it from over filing and overflowing. Use those things until lie me - you are in therapy and my T asks what I'm thinking about and I start speaking the grounding statements that are going through my mind - that I didn't consciously think about using.

When you get there, life with PTSD starts getting easier........