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Moral injury (partially my rant thread)

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CatInTree

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Anyone else dealing with this?

I feel like I'm going crazy.

I've tried looking around, but everything I can find is military exclusive. If I didn't know better I'd say I'm living in the 1980s. I swear, this does not look like 2018 when I try finding resources. I'm waiting for the call from 1980 to ask if they can have the "only military can be affected" attitude back, since almost 40 years later kidnapped it.

I wasn't in the military.

I just thought I would have to prioritize one life over another and found myself preparing to decide.

But according to the current standards of society that can't be a situation where I had to break who I was, because I wasn't in a literal combat situation.

I'm going nuts at this.

I normally ask Google to find me resources to feel less alone, but now it's not working because all I'm getting is that I can't be dealing with it because of lack of military experience.
 
No, listen, in case there's advice that's good and research that's solid, and then a lot of bollocks?

What you do with that is USE the information that's solid & useful, and tweak it to make fit for your situation. (Unless it's kind of emergencies like medical where that isn't possible, but with trauma research aimed at different population? If you're affected by the same trauma, it's gonna be useful, regardless of where you came to yours. So you already know what you're leaving out - combat & mil experience, now look at what you may find helpful?)

Meanwhile - we've had discussions on this forum on that topic, here and there. Usually when discussing kidnap situations & torture & similar triaging, and there were similar discussions in some threads on guilt as far as I recall too. Something to check by, maybe.
 
Ah, getcha.

I'll go back to my reading then, because the studies I read a while back' tone was more like 'it happens more common with the military and that's who we've studied it by first / coined the term for, but it can affect other populations as well, we just don't have data on them.'

Edited to add: Redefining the search is a bit helpful, try 'moral injury in civilians' and 'moral injury - non military'.
 
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I'm sorry for being so dramatic here.

Apparently I'm just faking everything.

Sorry for not fitting the whatever I'm supposed to be for the forum.
 
Apparently I'm just faking everything.
It can feel really hard and isolating trying to find answers to things we really want answers to but I don't think anyone here has suggested you are faking anything? I think people have just tried to offer alternative suggestions to what and where you might look.
whatever I'm supposed to be for the forum.
Can you expand on this a bit? What is it you feel you're 'supposed to be'? People come to this forum from all walks of life and different backgrounds and trauma histories, at different points in their recovery, and focused on different elements of that. I'm not sure there is any 'supposed to be' other than a shared experience of trauma and PTSD. I've personally found looking for the threads that connect us more useful than focusing on the things that make us different. While there may not be people who can share your exact experiences, there will be people here who can relate to them, and the symptoms your struggling with, from their own.
 
I'm really struggling to see where people here are being invalidating of you. That's not to say you feel invalidated but if you know what you're dealing with sometimes the label we give it doesn't much matter - the feelings are real and the resources are useful across a range of issues.

It sounds like you're looking for someone to say people not in the military can be affected by moral injury, they can, of course they can but research is in its infancy which means it's focussed on areas where there's money to spend (i.e. Ex-military and veteran welfare) much like the develop of our understanding of PTSD.

No one here is trying to be invalidating - if you let us know what you're looking for (eh treatments that are effective, coping strategies, peer support) folk might be able to help you.
 
I've tried looking around, but everything I can find is military exclusive. If I didn't know better I'd say I'm living in the 1980s. I swear, this does not look like 2018 when I try finding resources...But according to the current standards of society that can't be a situation where I had to break who I was, because I wasn't in a literal combat situation.
Can you write a little more about what kinds of resources you are looking for?

I see from your flag you're in Poland - I don't know a lot about how PTSD is talked about, there, and will do some looking around. It wouldn't surprise me, though, if you're looking for support groups and the like, and find that they aren't really geared towards the broader PTSD population. At first, when I saw your OP, I assumed you were looking for support groups, and almost suggested some US resources, then realized they wouldn't be too helpful.

But that might not be all you are looking for...I do know that while it might feel like, in your area, no-one believes PTSD comes from anything other than combat - globally, it is understood that's not the case. That doesn't help you deal with your locale, it just means that resources like international forums might end up being really useful for you.
 
My reaction was regarding another thread where I was told that it's not a real thing and military focused because that's where stuff that violates people's morals happen and that a big portion of the forum is military.

My reaction about being dramatic was because I was not involved in a mass causality event and realized I may have sounded as if I was. I did not mean to make me sound like I had it worse than I did.

I'm sorry for blowing up in this thread.

Resources may have been the wrong word. My English has been known to be inexact. I'm basically looking for some sort of confirmation that I'm not insane for feeling like I do. I didn't want to be a burden here, so I started by googling. That didn't work, I just felt more crazy.
 
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