More on cptsd and narcissism - assessing oneself

OliveJewel

MyPTSD Pro
Am stuck in a narcissistic perspective so analyzing the original post.

whether my coping patterns are narcissistic.
looking at mine too
think my father's malignant narcissism is the main reason why I suffered and still do.
Same
a very weak sense of self, or perhaps more accurately, no self at all, so he or she is not confident in their memories
I have struggled with a sense of self. My first username was “Searching For Self”. I have recovered memories of csa. I recovered them 39 years after they happened. I struggle with confidence in my memories.
automatically assume that when it comes to reality, other people are right.
Yes, I lived like this for 39 years. I am 43 years old. For 4 years I have been learning that I have my own perspective.
reverberates to revise their view of themselves in all their previous memories.
This resonates with me. I think I do this.
I don't ask, "well, is that true?"
This is a challenge for me to ask myself.
The solution would be to have a stronger sense of self
One would think! Yes, might be helpful. Sometimes one is not able to have that stronger sense of self yet.
like the narcissist, I don't think I have that.
I feel similarly.
 

joeylittle

Administrator
I'm TOTALY certain of all this, and you should be too - because *I* just made it up off the top of my head -
and I'm sure if you follow any advise derived from it, you will have a lifetime of misery
EVEN THOUGH I just told you I'm planting nefarious seeds of destruction as you read this.
You're just too dumb to see or remember what I've told you just now in plain view.


😴😴😴 is your response I hope... it's the ONLY one that works. So do NOT give this post a bunch of hearts... or even a thumb. DON'T.
I'll remember you and visit all your threads to suck on you to feed my relentless dopamine monkey.
I've got no idea what this means. You're new here, so a word of advice - you could use all the emojis in the world, but they'll never fully express tone.

My guess is: the bold text is you writing in the persona (or 'voice) of what is, to you, a prototypical individual with NPD - and that this post altogether is offered in the spirit of camaraderie. I'm guessing that based on other posts you've made, and on the many emojis.

But.

Your words tell the OP that they are too dumb to understand, and that you're going to stalk them across the forum for your own amusement.

I'd appreciate you clarifying your intention.
 

Agita Kaput

Policy Enforcement
Sponsor
I've got no idea what this means. You're new here, so a word of advice - you could use all the emojis in the world, but they'll never fully express tone.

My guess is: the bold text is you writing in the persona (or 'voice) of what is, to you, a prototypical individual with NPD - and that this post altogether is offered in the spirit of camaraderie. I'm guessing that based on other posts you've made, and on the many emojis.

But.

Your words tell the OP that they are too dumb to understand, and that you're going to stalk them across the forum for your own amusement.

I'd appreciate you clarifying your intention.
You have understood me clearly. The words are friendly but ill considered, What can I do to remedy the ambiguity, edit, or remove the post.
 

Agita Kaput

Policy Enforcement
Sponsor
Many of us have dark humour and / or are sarcastic. Its just hard to do in words and we have to pretty much say "sarcasm" or such to ensure nobody is confused. Just the whole text issue the www brings with it.
Understood and thank you for your attention and kind understanding. I'm struggling to reign it in due to the nature of well.. us. Misunderstanding - especially in the case of developmental trauma - really sucks.

I'm an expert in sarcastic and have recently come to see it as a negative interaction although I excuse it as being somehow cathartic or supportive of camaraderie as Joey suggests. But its likely not helpful. The ones that laugh are prolly not the ones who don't need to hear it. It's actually a pretty divisive thing come to think of it. Bummer I enjoy it so much but I guess we all have fun but unhealthy defenses we are unhappy to part with.

Thank you for the site.

BTW: Open to chat about some web UX type stuff involving 3D expressions of threads, personal relationships... etc if that has any appeal.

G'day mate!
 
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PreciousChild

MyPTSD Pro
Am stuck in a narcissistic perspective so analyzing the original post.


looking at mine too

Same

I have struggled with a sense of self. My first username was “Searching For Self”. I have recovered memories of csa. I recovered them 39 years after they happened. I struggle with confidence in my memories.

Yes, I lived like this for 39 years. I am 43 years old. For 4 years I have been learning that I have my own perspective.

This resonates with me. I think I do this.

This is a challenge for me to ask myself.

One would think! Yes, might be helpful. Sometimes one is not able to have that stronger sense of self yet.

I feel similarly.
@OliveJewel, that is so revealing that your first username was "searching for self". I think a lot of us can identify with that moniker. I just want to express appreciation for your reposting some apt points and for reflecting on them further. I'm glad you found the points worth some further consideration. At the time, I was so struck by what the doctor had said about narcissists' weak sense of self that rang so true in terms of how I related to myself and others as well. Recently, I've been a little too focused on wondering why a few of my friends haven't been replying to my emails as readily as I would like them to. As usual, my reaction is to think that I must have said something wrong that would alienate them. But if I did say something alienating, wouldn't I be able to detect them using my own ability to judge? Even if I did say something wrong inadvertantly, if they've been my friend for years, why would I think that their response would be to distance themselves from me? That's a bit harsh. Even if that is their response to something I said, it doesn't mean that they're automatically right or justified. I don't have to crumble every time a friend reacts negatively. Thanks for reposting this!

@joeylittle, I think your actions and feedback to @agitakaput were sound. Thanks for judiciously enforcing the rules.
 

OliveJewel

MyPTSD Pro
the codependent's strategy is to meld with the other in order to control, whereas the narcissist outsources.
I understand the strategy of melding with the other in order to control. In fact, now that I’m thinking of it, the lovebombing of the narcissistic amplifies the motivation of the codependent meld. It all feels so “natural” because of the conditioning.

What do you mean by outsourcing rather than melding? Like the narcissist is “fake melding” with the codependent while keeping their eyes open for others to feed off of?
If I only I would just shut it and not trigger him
I recognize this so much. It feeds into my urge to isolate. “If only I could be okay and not need people. Needing people stresses them out.”
hide behind my victimhood.
Feel this. I tell myself I have to mask because it would hurt others to know what is going through my head. Am beginning to share more with strangers but the idea of someone I can depend on consistently doesn’t make a lot of sense yet. I appreciate the offers. But I tell myself that if they knew how difficult and tangled my mind is they would not offer. So my lie to myself is that I have to save others from me by hiding.
As usual, my reaction is to think that I must have said something wrong that would alienate them.
Are you me? 😅 I’m getting better at imagining other possibilities, but this one tends to pop up first. It gives us a false sense of control and return to that familiar victim mode. Now that I think about it, there’s a sense of control in holding onto victim hood. Probably why we have to keep trying to bring our parts into the present. The parts want to control us kind of.
 
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