mother calling me while she's drunk

my mom wont stop calling me while shes drunk.

I stopped visiting on fridays because I wanted to f*cking avoid her drinking and now shes calling me and I shouldn't have answered but I thought she might have something important to say
and now shes just comparing me to my brother and telling me stupid f*ckign stories of dumb shit my brother did. Sayign that I'm just like him and all this shit. it triggering me and I'm trying so hard not to be. I'm not like him.
 
I'm thankful to talk with you. Im outside just trying to find where I'm at.

What kind of grounding helps you when you feel like this? Sounds like you're in pain :/ hugs if youd like.
i honestly dont even know right now my service dog is trying to comfort me but I just cant focus on anything and my chest feels like its gonna explode and I don't feel safe anymore I'm so tired of this constant battle I finally got the courage to just turn off my phone but f*ck everything ya know?
 

Defaultxlove

MyPTSD Pro
Okay yep I understand. I have a companion dog I call him. A doberman. I got him not knowing they are great for PTSD. When I can't connect with him I know I'm pretty sky high. Good thing is you can come down again. It will take some time and effort.

Maybe drinking water? Cold water onto your face. Find 5 different textures around the room. Some ideas.

Also it's great you're writing it out. It helps. If you want to share more I'm listening.
 
Okay yep I understand. I have a companion dog I call him. A doberman. I got him not knowing they are great for PTSD. When I can't connect with him I know I'm pretty sky high. Good thing is you can come down again. It will take some time and effort.

Maybe drinking water? Cold water onto your face. Find 5 different textures around the room. Some ideas.

Also it's great you're writing it out. It helps. If you want to share more I'm listening.
i ended up taking a really long shower.. helped some but I'm still just tired of it all thank you again for being here it means a lot
 

arfie

MyPTSD Pro
I'm trying so hard not to be. I'm not like him.

seems to me that the harder i try NOT to be, the more compulsively i become the monster i am trying to fight. i have no family role models i want to emulate, so . . . ya know, ya know. i suspect you know all too well. my list of things i don't want to be is far longer than my list of wannabes. alas, nobody seems to have any problem, whatsoever, picking out which people in the room are my siblings. i have 10 siblings, so the comparisons are extensive.

i found my peace in acknowledging the places we are quite similar and finding ways to build those similarities into assets. some days i think i can even see the people underneath the cycles of out family illnesses.
 

shimmerz

MyPTSD Pro
my mom wont stop calling me while shes drunk.
"Hey Mom, this is your daughter you are calling. I am going to hang up now. If you call me drunk ever again I will hang up then too. I love you and want to talk to you when you are sober only."

Did that to my girlfriend of 50 years. Of course, I didn't call her Mom. Took a few tries but it worked. Drinking destroys relationships. Any relationship I care about I don't allow that shit in.
 
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