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Sexual Assault Mother/daughter incest

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I'm a woman, my abuser was a woman, and though it pales in comparison, there's a lot of social BS in the way we view men, women, sex and violence. One of my biggest fears is I won't be believed because of gender. That and we just don't talk about female sexual abusers, or assume they were coerced by a man. Mothers in particular are held up as paragons of virtue. One thing I reckon about trauma is, the more intimate it is, the more difficult it is to come to terms with for a survivor.
 
I'm not sure if it's even real right now. I know she apologized for touching me a long time ago but she was on drugs so I blew it off. I was abused by a woman and a man besides and my little brother recently had breakdown and asked me if mom ever touched me because she did him. It's something I don't even want to think about really.
 
Thank you. Just trying to blow it off right now and trying to come to terms with the fact that it was what probably made me gay.
 
I might be able to help a little with that.
I've been on that particular merry-go-round a few times, as a gay woman with my main abuser being female.
See, the thing I reckon is that, if my main abuser was male, people would say that was what made me gay, because I would no longer be attracted to men because of the abuse.
As it is, she's a woman, and then people say that she somehow 'turned' me gay through the abuse.
Either way, I think people try to justify non-straight orientations in terms of the abuse, whichever way they spin it.
The other thing is that we look for reasons as to why we're gay, instead of just rolling with it like we were if we were straight.
I tried to turn myself straight - spoiler alert, that didn't work.
Where are you at with the whole sexuality thing, emotionally? For years I tried to deny I was gay at all. Dated/slept with exclusively cis-men. Hated the part of me that was having gay thoughts, or the absence of straight ones. I think sexuality after sexual abuse is just a mess in general, but way more complicated if you're gay and the abuser was of the same gender.
 
I have the same problem. I hate that I'm gay and I keep trying to make myself straight. I just keep thinking if I'm religious enough or something it will go away but I'm just miserable. I've dated a couple times but I have zero sexual interest in men. It's like hanging out. You're right about the whole female/male abuser thing affecting sexuality goes and how it's justified as one reason to explained homosexuality.
 
Yeah. I'm not religious and have zero sexual interest in men, but I kept trying because if I tried hard enough, I thought I could make myself straight and learn to feel attraction to men. Not to be vulgar, but I slept w a lot of dudes to try and get rid of my gayness. It kinda didn't occur to me that it might not work that way. I know intellectually love is love, but it took me a while to realise that was true for me too and not just other people.
 
if my main abuser was male, people would say that was what made me gay, because I would no longer be attracted to men because of the abuse.

This happened to me.. my ex (another woman) used to tell me that I was confused because I had been traumatized by men and dicks. I know, internally, that if I dated a man, I personally would never be able to sleep with him -- not easily or comfortablely. So, why didn't my crazy ex scare me away from being gay? She was just as forceful at times. My next step is to platonically marry a lizard
 
Yeah. I'm not religious and have zero sexual interest in men, but I kept trying because if I tried hard e...
Yeah, I can't even bring myself to sleep with a man. There was one time I tried fooling around with one and it just felt gross. I was so repulsed by the feel of his touch it was over in probably 5 seconds.
I liked having sex with the woman who abused me even though she was a sadist she wasn't as much of one as her male counterpart. I'm surprised he didn't kill me or the two boys that unfortunately had the same experiences with me. She told me I was gay and she would smack me around lots but she would hold me and caress me too. It was a complete mindf*ck. He was just scary mean all the time.
 
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