Mother of my children wished me a Happy Father's Day ?

Agita Kaput

Policy Enforcement
Sponsor
It's really embarrassing to even ask this.
Is this website the best forum? Will you understand? Your gonna think I'm a real A-hole.
Am I cold hearted? I should just chill, take a pill! I'm such a jerk! <head hitting wall>
How could I be so conniving, sensitive, ridiculous? <hyperventilating>
She doesn't mean anything by it. She's not gonna hit you 'ittle AK.
You won't get hurt. There won't be a knife to the heart.

---
"What happened that upset you AK?"
She just... she just.... SHE WISHED ME A HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!
"Mm hmm. Let's talk about that. I think there's something here."
---

O. K... The super kind lovely well wishing came via a text message.
We do not text. Because I do not text... with Tranquility.
I do not answer Tranquility's call. I do not... look Tranquility in the eye.

Tranquility Kaput is a narcissist,
Tranquility Kaput is obviously not her real name 🤣- she did not take my name. 🙄Duh.
Her real last name is Smashittabitz. Sanity Smashittabitz.

I can't get far enough away from Sanity. I can't do New Zealand.
I can only dream of "No Contact." Unfortunately, Tranquility is the mother of my children.
"Co-parenting" would be a dream come true. We "parallel" parent. We... email. It's admissible.
Once she called me... "Little Wannadance broke her leg!" I hung up quickly.
Tranquility probably broke it... and then yelled at her, "you shouldn't have kicked my tire iron you spaz!"

So... should I call her out on the whole "Father's day" thing? Give her a piece of my mind?
I don't know. Sounds dangerous. There will be more texting and the next thing you know
I'll be sleeping with her and then smoking a cyanide cigarette,
after calling my lawyer, psychiatrist, priest, and DoorDash (because she's gonna want some goodies
around while she makes all the arrangements and I want her to be happy... for the kids.)
Make all the arrangements! Sorry, that was a joke. She's got a flow chart and all the help
(along with my family members, my ex-friends, her sycophants, every soccer mom (kids age dont matter), lawyer..)
on speed dial
They have detailed instructions.

So. How do you think I should respond? Take a screenshot? Call the cops?


Psych! Of course I'm exaggerating! Trying to be funny! (ha ha)
I actually know what I'll do, I'm getting to be a pro at this...

But I do want to hear your thoughts.
 

shimmerz

MyPTSD Pro
I think it is brilliant, personally. A great way to add lightness to what appears to be an overbearing situation.

If there were no socially constructed rules to follow - what would you want to do?
If there were no children that needed to be thought about - what would you want to do?

Once she called me... "Little Wannadance broke her leg!" I hung up quickly.
Tranquility probably broke it... and then yelled at her, "you shouldn't have kicked my tire iron you spaz!"

If you feel like this is actually the case, then I completely understand you and your having to measure every little thing you do. They train us to do that. So that they are always on our minds.

Something like this.....

So... should I call her out on the whole "Father's day" thing? Give her a piece of my mind?
I don't know. Sounds dangerous. There will be more texting and the next thing you know
I'll be sleeping with her and then smoking a cyanide cigarette,
after calling my lawyer, psychiatrist, priest, and DoorDash (because she's gonna want some goodies
around while she makes all the arrangements and I want her to be happy... for the kids.)
Make all the arrangements!

This is how the victim of a psychopath thinks. Because everything has a consequence.
1. Become involved in their games and play along just to keep things nice? You're f*cked.
2. Call them out because you are tired of their bullshit? You're f*cked.
3. Say nothing and pretend you don't give a rats ass about them? You're so f*cked you will never be able to recover once they are done with you.

I'm not sure I fully understand though.

That's because you don't get it. That's the whole idea, you know? Because the victim is measuring every goddamm detail, weighing the benefits of this and the possible consequences of that - that you look like - to others - that you are CRAZY! That's the plan,....

OP - I think you know the answer. There is no answer. And that is why it is so much fun for
Sanity Smashittabitz

to gaslight like this.

Had my life destroyed by not 1 but 2 of these. I think I am at page 350 in my diary. Life was destroyed when the two of them and their minions got together to decided to take me down. If I had half a brain left I would write a book. It would be fascinating but I haven't been able to string more than 10 words together at any one time for over a year. Before that it was 2 words together for over a decade while they played with me like cat and mouse. This is a high stake game. They play to the death of their victim.

Know what the right answer is? Nothing. There is no right answer. That's the whole idea. You're f*cked no matter what. Normal people don't screw with people like that. Psychopaths do. Now I can see them a mile away.

Play it nice. Read the Art of War. Take Taekwondo. Hang out with people who know how to take care of themselves and learn from them. Find a new spouse that looks like they eat beer cans for breakfast. Keep a wide berth.

Good luck my friend. May god be with you.
 

Agita Kaput

Policy Enforcement
Sponsor
Delete the text is my advice. I'm not sure I fully understand though.
It's ok.
There are 2 kinds of people in the world; those that will get this, and those that wont.
If you don't... you are blessed. Do the happy dance.
The thing with gaslighting is... to the majority of the sane world - you look totally insane to get your freak on about somebody doing something nice for you.
That's why I say at the beginning... will anyone understand. (That's being faux naïve, of course you and %80 of the world won't)
It's completely tongue in cheek, pretending to be cowed by the utterly vicious game a narc plays.

I ended up saying "thanks" by text message. Seems simple, right? No, she's won. I used a text when she knows it's a boundary.
You get used to losing.
But not abandoning love.
I don't think you get used to that. Your answer was probably best.
 
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Agita Kaput

Policy Enforcement
Sponsor
I think it is brilliant, personally. A great way to add lightness to what appears to be an overbearing situation.

If there were no socially constructed rules to follow - what would you want to do?
If there were no children that needed to be thought about - what would you want to do?

Oh... no kids? She wouldn't have my phone number.

Thanks for your support. It means the world to have someone understand. But you understand that.
 

Agita Kaput

Policy Enforcement
Sponsor
I think it is brilliant, personally. A great way to add lightness to what appears to be an overbearing situation.

If there were no socially constructed rules to follow - what would you want to do?
If there were no children that needed to be thought about - what would you want to do?



If you feel like this is actually the case, then I completely understand you and your having to measure every little thing you do. They train us to do that. So that they are always on our minds.

Something like this.....



This is how the victim of a psychopath thinks. Because everything has a consequence.
1. Become involved in their games and play along just to keep things nice? You're f*cked.
2. Call them out because you are tired of their bullshit? You're f*cked.
3. Say nothing and pretend you don't give a rats ass about them? You're so f*cked you will never be able to recover once they are done with you.

My best plan so far is to act very very stupid. It's easy after a while. "Oh, gee...thanks!" Nope too much. Showing surprise - god knows what that will turn into. Nope... it's "Thanks"... And write what you think is a really funny paragraph pretending to be the noob I was last month. And laughing my ass off. This strategy will continue. I hope to find some peep that will laugh along - if they hadn't already been totally hollowed out, drooling in a corner.

That's because you don't get it. That's the whole idea, you know? Because the victim is measuring every goddamm detail, weighing the benefits of this and the possible consequences of that - that you look like - to others - that you are CRAZY! That's the plan,....
Well, she said "fully". There is some obvious humor.
OP - I think you know the answer. There is no answer. And that is why it is so much fun for


to gaslight like this.

Had my life destroyed by not 1 but 2 of these. I think I am at page 350 in my diary.

Can't WAIT to read it! Thanks for responding.

Life was destroyed when the two of them and their minions got together to decided to take me down. If I had half a brain left I would write a book. It would be fascinating but I haven't been able to string more than 10 words together at any one time for over a year. Before that it was 2 words together for over a decade while they played with me like cat and mouse. This is a high stake game. They play to the death of their victim.

Know what the right answer is? Nothing. There is no right answer. That's the whole idea. You're f*cked no matter what. Normal people don't screw with people like that. Psychopaths do. Now I can see them a mile away.

Play it nice. Read the Art of War. Take Taekwondo. Hang out with people who know how to take care of themselves and learn from them. Find a new spouse that looks like they eat beer cans for breakfast. Keep a wide berth.
Beer cans? 😬 You mean someone who can handle her like smakin' wet laundry on a rock?
Mmmm, not sure that synchs with the Taekwondo energy redirection. Head on gets destroyed, no?
Or perhaps you are saying, "don't be misled by beauty?" 🧐
I'm gonna go ahead and think, ya got your Narcs in all shapes, colors, flavors... all walks of life.

I will read the Art of War,

and yes... nice.

The best T I had on this said... "Your job is to be the kind loving man you are."
I said, "does that mean I can't kill her?"
Good luck my friend. May god be with you.
U2
 

shimmerz

MyPTSD Pro
I said, "does that mean I can't kill her?"

I wish I was a different person often. My lawyer said she could have easily gotten me off of a self defense charge after what I had been subjected to. Couldn't have done it if I had tried.

My best plan so far is to act very very stupid.

I think this is smart. I am at a stage where things are flipping in the family dynamics right now. I was badly underestimated. Or they didn't believe I would live through it. Or both. But I did. I have a few words to say about this whole thing. And now that people involved can clearly see that I am NOT crazy....this may not end for themselves, quite as well as they hoped.

I'll let you know if the great equalization phase in my life actually works out to my benefit. I know what this was all about. He knows what this is all about. He's had enough fun. My turn now. At this point I could care a less if I survive it or not. It will be worth it to push back. He gave me more than enough material to mess with him. I see that as his mistake.

Beer cans? 😬 You mean someone who can handle her like smakin' wet laundry on a rock?

Someone who she thinks twice about playing with. I had the male version of that who escorted me where ever I went with family events. It was like having my own personal guard dog. He was a lovely man. To me. Nobody else dared to screw with me when he was around. Now THAT is the kind of friend to have when dealing with these types.

Mmmm, not sure that synchs with the Taekwondo energy redirection.

Good point. lol. Nice chatting with you @Agita Kaput .
 
I hope this isn't interfering; apart from whatever choice (no choice) there is, I was advised to turn off the phone.

But fwiw, you 'are' a dad, and it is Father's day. You love your children, and I think they you (no matter what your ex has done or said). Refuse to let the text bother you so much you forget these things.

I am sorry for you and everyone who goes through and has gone through such things as this. 😔
 

Agita Kaput

Policy Enforcement
Sponsor
... Refuse to let the text bother you so much you forget these things.
Wow! So true. This is the real danger. Being distracted by it in any way.

Her Fathers day wish really didnt knock me... a few months ago it might have though. The unhinged voice I used in the post was me not that long ago.

Today My freak went just far enough (maybe %1) into the whole crazy rabbit hole to realize it was hilarious and I could really stand back and make fun of the whole thing - including myself.

Im actually joyful that Ive broken through being bothered especially by myself. Shimerz is on that (and everything else she addressed) like white on rice. We get trained to abuse ourselves. To hear voices and see snakes where there are none.

But If can watch the EX and can control my emotional flashbacks, I USE the EXs maliciousness heal me... Gotta love that!

So this is actually a wonderful gift... I can take the experiences I have with the ex to shine a light on how, why, and what my mother trained me to doubt my thoughts, emotions, intuition.

I can't remember that trauma... it was Chinese water torture compared with the waterboarding of physical or sexual abuse... I'll likely never unearth a discrete visual or auditory memory. It was a process.

Thank you so much for your note!!
 
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