I live in a town where my abusive ex husband still lives. I escaped our marriage nine years ago and left all of the business we built together etc. to him. (It has since gone bankrupt). Over Nine years ago I moved out while he was out of town with the support of my therapist. To protect my mostly grown children (and for my safety) I never fully explained why I left to most people in this town. I lived the farthest away in the school district that I could accross town always behind gates. Now, I’m mostly thriving and have become a very successful real estate agent in the general large metro area… I’ve avoided a lot of business in the heart of the town that I have bad memories in and that is the me thing holding me back. I’m very happily remarried and have moved back across town (to be with my new husband) to where many bad memories trigger me. Also, and maybe most importantly, my daughter was attacked and raped in high school by someone in this same area. She disassociated from the memory until two years ago. Her attacker is a very visable person in my area and industry. I will have to potentially deal with him in the future. And he has already passively aggressively messed with me professionally before I Knew of the attack on my daughter. I get triggered by this very prominent and powerful person. Sadly, My beautiful daughter now struggles with debilitating PTSD and inherited BPD (quiet in her case) from her father and lives in this area in a condo that I pay for while she recovers (DBT/ART therapy) . Once she gets better, she will probably move away. I would really like to leave this place as well… I feel like my soul and true personality is being sucked out by fear and anger. There are many triggers that bring up horrible memories. I have been diagnosed with C-PTSD and have continued off and on therapy. I have been taking EMDR recently to relieve the continuing anxiety since my daughter has gotten worse. I can’t help but wonder if I moved away with my new husband to start fresh if I wouldn’t get even better. That way I wouldn’t always be looking over my shoulder for these two narcissistic bullies and wouldn’t be getting as triggered with waves of despair and sadness. I want to be the true me. And thrive in my industry without limits. Yet, I’m stuck here with daily reminders of past and current pain. There would be many repercussions if I told the truth about my former marriage and the attack on my daughter… I’ve asked her but she does not want to press charges against this individual.
I know I can be successful in my industry anywhere with hard work.
Is it futile to think that if I move away (with my new husband) from these memories and these extremely hurtful people that I can start fresh mentally? Will it be a wasted effort or will getting away from these triggers and abusive people free my tormented soul so I can continue to recover and thrive? Although we do have some support of family and long time friends here, my husband would most likely be okay an eventual move.
I know I can be successful in my industry anywhere with hard work.
Is it futile to think that if I move away (with my new husband) from these memories and these extremely hurtful people that I can start fresh mentally? Will it be a wasted effort or will getting away from these triggers and abusive people free my tormented soul so I can continue to recover and thrive? Although we do have some support of family and long time friends here, my husband would most likely be okay an eventual move.