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Casey_03

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I have moved in to my new apartment and I am now terrified. Mainly worried that I will get fired and not be able to pay the rent going forward. There are multiple reasons for these concerns, among them the fact that I'm only a freelancer at this job and have no job security there, and also the company seems to be having financial difficulties. Also, my job thinks I'm in Ukraine and I'm not, and I'm terrified they'll figure out I moved back and fire me for not informing them.

The apartment is so terrible and run down on the inside. There was spilled juice and crap all over the floor when I moved in; they obviously made no effort to clean up for me. No hot water. Nails scattered all over the floor, and they knew I'd be moving in with a small child who loves to crawl around.

This is not what I expected.
 
So you sweep up the nails, clean up the sticky crap off the floor, and make this a home for you and LM.... not every thing is a catastrophe Casey....It's called Life on Life's terms... and yes, we all are under stress, some of us are poor and wonder where our next meal is coming from... but there is also a gazillion things to be grateful for.... moving is stressful.... you can make this be anything you need it to be for you and LM....
If you loose your job, you find another one... there is no perfect situation... no golden rules, no guarantees... we make our life what we need it to be.... I was a young single mom, and had to live in some awful places... but I made it 'home' for me and my son.

You are stressing your self over something that might happen in the future, apparently you knew this before taking the apartment... and you also said you asked the landlady if you could paint and she said yes... how about looking at the fact you are away from your family.... that you have privacy... that you can make this place safe for LM... at low or no cost ....That you can create a life for you and your son... not everything has a gloom and doom ending....

Pretty sure this is not what you wanted to hear... but is called LIFE... it isn't going to change... we change our self to adapt to the ups and downs.... you are using precious energy that could be used to finding solutions... hope things get better for you.
Give LM kisses for me...
 
I know how you feel @Casey_03, don't appologize. I have lived in some dumps for sure. I live in one now (with almost $300 per month increase from when I moved in - enough as luxury apartments) though they are remodeling now after all this time so they will be REALLY hiking up the rent so I know I must move in Oct but I fear my new income won't pay for anything but some super dump in the getto. But the way I see it, a dump is better then being homeless! I have been close to homeless but thankfully I have been able to at least find dumps.

But I agree with @ladee, make it home. Grab some paint and paint the walls a great color, clean it up. I know that sucks in a new apartment. I've had to do the same. But the truth is, you can make any place home.

Why does your job think you are in the Ukraine? I am confused by that. What happens if they know you are in the US? Is it a company in the Ukraine?

:hug:s to you!
 
Thanks @lostforgottensoul I do plan to try to adapt and make it home. Hell, what choice do I have? The main problem is I have literally no spending money to buy the supplies I'd need to fix things up. And I won't for at least a few months, so in the meantime I can't let my son crawl around much (there are screws and nails sticking out of the perimeter of the floor and I can't get them out, so I'd need to buy a massive rug to at least cover that up). The landlord also informed me a day after I moved in that there's a cockroach infestation and they believe there are mice. I have already spotted mice droppings. I'm going to lay traps down, but it's really gross. I feel like I can't let my son go on the floor in this apartment at all, and it's impossible to keep him trapped in his crib constantly.

So, I guess that's really what my frustration is -- having no money to fix things up that need to be fixed up. And I mean literally none, I'm surviving off of rations of rice until my next food stamp tranche comes. I had seen the apartment before signing the lease, but they were still doing work in here then and said they were going to clean everything up. I assumed that meant they'd clean the floors, but the nails and screws are something I didn't notice when I viewed the place. Ugh.
 
I'm going to beg your indulgence in advance. 'Problem solving' is kind of what I do and I've come to realize that can be annoying.

Possibilities to consider. In a lot of places, Habitat for Humanity has stores where they sell left over supplies cheap. A possible source of both paint and carpet. Places like Goodwill and the Salvation Army could be sources of carpet, possibly paint too, but less likely.

Boric acid crystals, set on a piece of paper, down behind the fridge, stove, etc helps a LOT with roaches. (Something I learned in FL.) Pest control needs to be building wide, but boric acid really seemed to help.

Someday, this will all make a great story. You may even be able to get rich off the book. (I hope so!)
 
Thanks @scout86 I hadn't hear of this boric acid trick, I will definitely look into it. I did check the local Salvation Army and didn't see carpeting, but they will solve the problem I have with my lack of furniture (I have none whatsoever, and nowhere to sit, ever) once I can afford to rent a moving truck. I will check on craigslist or some other site with used goods to see if I can find a used rug. But again, I'll have to wait to buy anything. That's the frustrating thing -- there are solutions to all of these problems, but most of them require money I don't have. Basically, the most just didn't go as I'd planned, and the apartment is not what I expected. My sister had promised she could get her work truck so I could take furniture from my grandma's. But at the last minute, she couldn't get it, so I wasn't able to move much stuff. And then upon moving in, all these problems around the apartment keep popping up. I was just hoping maybe I'd finally get a break and things would work out. But I guess it's not time for that yet, maybe I'll get a break some other time.
 
Thanks @Fadeaway I'm glad you can understand my disappointment. I was so happy to be getting my own place ... and then bam. I suppose in the long run, all these things will seem trivial, but right now they're driving me crazy.
 
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