Moving forward and doing good

sonnet

Learning
Something happened. A month or more so ago. Between the husband fighting and stress, I finally decided to just STOP/LET GO. To LOVE my husband in the now for his strengths and let him be here for me now like he says he will, while looking beyond the past history, AND, THEN\ ALSO..... with that came another BIG realization. That I will always be haunted by what I remember from being molested by my father. I will still fight feeling awkward and insecure. But somewhere the revelation came to me: I AM READY TO BE ALRIGHT. I am stronger, I am wiser, I am happy, I believe in myself. I know he is a sick man too sick to comprehend. I understand now that some things just are not meant to be understood. I think that is what clicked in me.
It took a a lot of weight off my shoulders that I feel like I had been carrying around. It was a saving grace when I saw that avatar named zipperfish come into the gaming room. I have been able to deal with nightmares or do not have them like I was. I have slept better. My days are better. I think that I really just needed to understand that some things can not be explained or understood and will never make sense.
 
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