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Moving forward with my life

Discussion in 'Sexual Assault' started by Brokensoul88, Jun 14, 2018.

  1. Brokensoul88

    Brokensoul88 Active Member

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    Hi guys, it has been a long time since I was last on here, I’ve been in a very dark place for so many years but now I am coming back to the light, 10 years on from being raped I have met someone. It feels like I am in a dream because after all the hate I had for myself somehow this wonderful human being shows me love. He is my Prince Charming, I recently told him very briefly what happened to me and he said it didn’t change a thing and he will be there for me whatever I need. So now we are starting to be hands on and because of my history I have not had any male contact since the attack, he is incredibly patient and always asks if the way he is holding me, caressing me is ok and now we need to move this on. I’m terrified, but I also want to move forward with him. Does anyone have any advice for how we can start to become intimate? I have my techniques for grounding sorted but with this being new territory I won’t find out my triggers until I push the boundaries. Thanks guys x
     
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  3. Been there

    Been there Guest

    A long time ago, no one could touch my neck or collar bone area. Even coming near to it would cause me to tense up. Somehow, after a year of not touching me there and building trust, one day it was just magically okay. Didn’t even really notice the day his hand brushed by it and then we both were like, “wait a second, no freak out!”

    Unless, you know it is a big trigger, it sort of becomes a game of trial and error. Because I am doing emdr which makes me more symptomatic, I make it a point to remind myself who I am with. I may even repeat it over and over again in my mind. Remind myself of the things that are different. Age, hair style, size, chest hair. Sometimes... alcohol or pot to take the edge off.

    Congratulations on your relationship! I hope you will be able to get to a great place of intimacy!
     
    Brokensoul88 likes this.
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