I get this emotion sometimes, when I'm REALLY low and I'm usually giving into bad habits, where it's like this swirl of darkness and all the horrible emotions I feel. Anger, sadness, hatred, disappointment, it all hits me at once and usually how I deal with it to make it go away is self harm. Then it just keeps coming back and I keep self harming to get rid of it. It almost feels like my "dark side" if life were a superhero movie. Like Mr. Hyde. Like I'm a different person. I scream and act out, and if anyone offers to help me I push them away and act like a mean person. I hate feeling this way and want it to stop, and I don't want to hurt anyone, so I have to hurt myself. I can't keep being such a useless person, like I can't keep having to battle my emotions day in and day out. I have to find a job, get a job, somehow keep that job, and do all this other stuff. I don't have time to deal with my little stupid hissy fits.