I discovered a new cognitive distortion that I would like help thinking through. I realized recently that I become very focused on appeasing the toxic person. For example, my ex was a vulnerable narcissist, and when the relationship ended, though I had no desire at all to ever get back with him, I kept obsessing (and still do a little bit) about his perception of me, what I could have done different, and just feeling emotionally without closure. I also find myself ruminating sometimes about my bf's ex. She sounds like a narcissist too (grandiose?) and causes trouble with him and with their son. I find myself imagining her sense of superiority over everyone, including me, and I think about how I could vindicate myself. Btw, she and I couldn't be more different, so there's no point of comparison, and there's no jealousy or anything like that. I'm realizing that I'm still focusing in on people like my father, and there's an unresolved part of me that is still longing for love and recognition from people who would never give either to you. I seem to be more focused on these type of people than those who are actually kind and loving to me. How can I resolve this? What they really deserve is my total apathy.