ADHD My adhd

I go to a psych day program.I sometimes interrupt in group. I dont do it on purpose. I hate doing it. I feel crappy after I do it. So far techiques around self disapline have not helped much . I use fidget toys and draw to avoid interrupting but it still happens. I tend to berate myself and resolve not to do it. Than I go do it again .



Three is a counselor at my program who basically belittles me over it. And it makes me angry. I beat myself up over it,and he just makes everything worse with his snotty additude. How can I inform him his way of handling this makes me feel humiliated and mad at him and myself? I am not sure he is aware of what adhd is about. I want him to try to understand what is happening from my perspective. He could tell me I interrupted and leave it at that. I know after it happens did it.He also seems intolerant of strong emotions being expressed even when its totally appropriately done. He seems to enjoy making me the problem and humiliating me in front of the group. He is the day program director. How do I get him to understand what he is doing is not helping and that its making everything worse?
 

OliveJewel

MyPTSD Pro
I feel you. The way you described it here is very logical. I wonder if it would help you to draft a letter using some of the wording you used here?

Also, is there another counselor at the program who you have rapport with? It might help you to process a bit with them and plan your approach as they know the director and his communication style.

I teach at an alternative school that has lots of students with a diagnosis of ADHD. Despite this some of the older high school teachers have low tolerance for ADHD behaviors. I have to advocate for the students to be allowed to draw or fidget. When I explain to the older teachers that the students’ behavior is actually helping them focus more it usually helps. I would hope the program director is open to accommodating you and demonstrating tolerance for all participants.
 

arfie

MyPTSD Pro
the harder i beat myself up for a tic such as this one, the more likely i am to repeat the compulsive behavior. it feels like my campaign to eradicate the behavior makes ^it^ entirely too important to throw away. kinda like book bans and anti-vice campaigns?

a compassionate sense of humor is far more effective in my case. i'm not class clown material, but acknowledging the faux pas with gentle humor can relieve the tension of my disruption and relieve my own guilt while allowing myself to be more gentle with myself and more patient with the process.
 
Hi @Panther Sekhmet , I also sometimes interrupt (or say nothing at all), and don't like that I do it.

Just a couple of thoughts though. You said:

. I use fidget toys and draw to avoid interrupting but it still happens. I tend to berate myself and resolve not to do it. Than I go do it again .
For myself it helps to identify where the interrupting is coming from, or the 'why'. Am I going to forget if I don't say it? (Maybe then I could write it down). Am I actually engaged in the conversation, or passionate about it, vs my mind wandering or not following along? (It which case I wouldn't need a distraction to focus, that would exacerbate it. I wouldn't have a wandering mind but an overly focused one). Is the speaker slow? Would it help to write down their points , and a reminder for yourself that until their points are complete you may want to answer differently? Etc. (i.e. or something else, such as being triggered). When you do interrupt, say that you are sorry and let them continue if or when it happens. But please don't berate yourself.
How can I inform him his way of handling this makes me feel humiliated and mad at him and myself? I am not sure he is aware of what adhd is about. I want him to try to understand what is happening from my perspective.
It might help to try to educate him a bit. But unfortunately I doubt it. However, you can say also that you would appreciate if there could be a different signal, or other idea given to you, such as a system where people can contribute in turns. However, his opinion, again, isn't worth your self esteem. Especially if you are really trying and for no one would it be perfect. But it takes practice, also. And practice to identify and manage your feelings in response to his behaviours or words. (Usually that can be the bigger challenge).

There are good resources online ( Dodson, Tuckman, Barkely, Olivardia etc. ) that can give great suggestions. You will be able to do it. And you can feel better about it (and yourself) as you make progress.

It's not easy when your motor operates on a different speed. 😟 Good luck!☺️
 
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