Its crazy 3wks ago i was amazed wjat a fairy tale life he and his wife have. He has a good job, they love each other so much. Bam, life hits out of nowhere. Its a rare cancer and we find out tomorrow the stage and if its metastasized. He is only 32..i keep thinking i will wake up from this nightmare, but its real. My body goes from feeling, to numb. I have to control myself from hurting myself, cutting being a way to cope. I dont know if i will get through this without breaking down. The ringing in my ears is so loud, strsnge music i sm hearing outside myself. I am so scared, he has gone through so much and i have tried so hard to give him everything that he needs. But i cant fix this, i cant take it away. I am terrified of losing him, terrified of what he may have to go through. I need to keep myself together for him and i am scared i will fall apart. I am floating and i am poppinf klonopin to keep the anxiety and panic from taking control. I really just need some support from you all. Everyone has always been wonderful. If you pray, please pray for him. Thanks all for listening. Once i get results i will update when i can.