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My brother, my friend, my abuser

Discussion in 'Sexual Assault' started by L V Smith, Jun 5, 2018.

  1. L V Smith

    L V Smith Guest

    Age 3 to 13. Vaginal penetration, gagging and wanting to throw up when he pulled me down on his penis and ejaculated! WHY didn't I say "I DON'T WANT TO??" Because sometimes the stimulation (and even anticipation) felt really, really good . GO FIGURE !! SO I have that conflicting guilt of sexual anticipation and potential physical pleasure with, from the beginning at 3 I remember when my beautiful brother asked me maybe 15 years ago, "Are you having problems with what "we" (the first Exploration into my vagina with a friend) did to you?" ***Like he, from his deep soul, really didn't know how to accept any responsibility!!!*** It was like he had only PARTICIPATED!
    Guess what I said! "NO".
    SO..... where do I go from here?
    shimmerz likes this.
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  3. EveHarrington

    EveHarrington _______ in progress. Premium Member

    Can I ask how old you are now? How much older is he?

    Your brother sounds like an unapologetic jerk.

    Is he really a friend? I’d argue no.
    LuckiLee likes this.
  4. Chris-duck

    Chris-duck Active Member

    My older brother abused me until I was 13. When I was 16 he made me rush home to tell me that we had both been kids and it was hard for us both and he was made to do it. It confused things even more for me to be honest.

    Moving on from it I guess is up to you, I don't think any of us can make any choices for you because families are complicated and there's a lot of factors going on. You're totally entitled to any emotions you feel towards him. Where do you wanna go from here?
    shimmerz and somerandomguy like this.
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