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My ex is back in the area and the nightmares have started again

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Sighs

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I left him just over a year ago. I've had nightmares on and off. After the verdict was handed down in the trial (he got off all 11 charges, the protection order was dropped and they gave him back his firearm), I had a couple of nightmares but then I was really good for a couple of months. Then a well meaning friend who didn't realise the protection order had been dropped told me he was back in the area. Unsurprisingly, I became pretty hypervigilent particularly the nights I am alone at home. Recently, the nightmares have started again.

Last night in my dream I was alone with him and he was sneering at me and telling me that he could kill me and get away with it because no-one would believe it was him. Then he dared me to see if I could get to my car faster than he could load his firearm. I ran, but it was like I was moving in treacle. My legs wouldn't seem to move.

More than anything I resent him taking up room in my head. I wasted enough time on him. I don't want to spend one more second thinking about him - awake or asleep!
 
I left him just over a year ago. I've had nightmares on and off. After the verdict was handed down in the trial (he got off all 11 charges, the protection order was dropped and they gave him back his firearm), I had a couple of nightmares but then I was really good for a couple of months. Then a well meaning friend who didn't realise the protection order had been dropped told me he was back in the area. Unsurprisingly, I became pretty hypervigilent particularly the nights I am alone at home. Recently, the nightmares have started again.

Last night in my dream I was alone with him and he was sneering at me and telling me that he could kill me and get away with it because no-one would believe it was him. Then he dared me to see if I could get to my car faster than he could load his firearm. I ran, but it was like I was moving in treacle. My legs wouldn't seem to move.

More than anything I resent him taking up room in my head. I wasted enough time on him. I don't want to spend one more second thinking about him - awake or asleep!
All I'm going to say is I'm sorry. I'm sorry for whatever he did and even more sorry that he got by with it. I'm ever more sorry you are the one that got the repercussions, not him.
This crap sucks.
Are you in therapy?
 
Therapy for a bit might not be a bad idea, if you're not already doing it.

Beyond that...I don't have nightmares. I have the occasional weird dream. By definition. That might be me, minimizing, but I find it helpful.

Another thing, "probabilities vs possibilities". What has he done in the past when a relationship ended? That will probably tell you a lot about what to expect. Has he started another relationship? If so, he's less likely to be a problem. Sometimes you have to tell yourself that stuff over and over, for quite awhile before it sticks. Everyone doesn't turn into a stalker (fortunately). I hope he just moves on so you can get some peace and sanity back your life.
 
Wellest wishes for peaceful nights, and days of experiencing your deserved freedom in its fullest sense.
 
I am going back to therapy. I’m very fortunate because I can access it for free because he is a veteran.
Logically, I think I’m pretty safe. He had a new girlfriend. I don’t think he wants to come anywhere near me because he knows the police would be all over him if he did. I also think he is nowhere near as uncontrolled as he had me believe when we were together. I just need my subconscious to catch up!
 
A psychiatrist could prescribe a small something to help u sleep. As a suffer, I have to take meds all the time.
 
I left him just over a year ago. I've had nightmares on and off. After the verdict was handed down in the trial (he got off all 11 charges, the protection order was dropped and they gave him back his firearm), I had a couple of nightmares but then I was really good for a couple of months. Then a well meaning friend who didn't realise the protection order had been dropped told me he was back in the area. Unsurprisingly, I became pretty hypervigilent particularly the nights I am alone at home. Recently, the nightmares have started again.

Last night in my dream I was alone with him and he was sneering at me and telling me that he could kill me and get away with it because no-one would believe it was him. Then he dared me to see if I could get to my car faster than he could load his firearm. I ran, but it was like I was moving in treacle. My legs wouldn't seem to move.

More than anything I resent him taking up room in my head. I wasted enough time on him. I don't want to spend one more second thinking about him - awake or asleep!

I'm so sorry that you're going thru this.
 
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