My dad is 76 and he was dx with esophageal cancer in 2014. He has pretty much outlived the odds for this type of cancer, and what he’s doing now can hardly be classified as living. It’s just my mom, sister and me, and we’ve agreed that he should come home to my parents house for hospice so he’s comfortable and we can have private time with him. I have never been so sad in my life. Sad is different than depressed, I’ve learned. Sadness is so justified. People accept sadness. It’s so normal for the situation. My emotions have never felt normal before. I was/am daddy’s girl. Seeing him so sick is the most painful thing I’ve experienced on a normal level. My mom, who has been taking care of him like a champ is starting to crack. My sisters anxiety has made her practically home bound. And I am working, listening to everyone else’s problems and trying to deal with my own feelings all at the same time. Thank god I got this job to have something to occupy my mind for 8+ hours a day. He only has a few days left. I don’t know how to reconcile this in my brain. I’ve never lost anyone close other than my kitty who only died a month ago. I’m so worried that if I’m not careful I could go into a depression. I’ve been in contact with my therapist who is only my therapist for another week and I have another one lined up. I’m taking all my meds correctly and leaning on everyone in my support system and using every skill. This all just sucks.