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My first love

Discussion in 'Domestic Violence' started by Pamdamarie24, Dec 14, 2017.

  1. Pamdamarie24

    Pamdamarie24 Guest

    I met him in middle school , he was my first boyfriend always cared for me would be there for me while I had struggles from a dysfunctional family , we broke up in 9th grade because we didn't go to the same highschool and decided to go out separate ways.

    We didn't start talking again until I saw his profile on fb two years after I had graduated from highschool. When I first talked with him he was so charming just like old times so sweet and loving just like in middle school. We became inseparable we were hanging out everyday sleeping over each others house I was so in love with him to me he could do no wrong.

    We started trying for a baby we kept trying, I got pregnant with my daughter I remember when I was 10 weeks pregnant he had cheated on me and burned me with chlymedia .... I was devastated ... I think I made so many excuses for him defended him through everything even then I was stupid not to walk away ... he just started getting physical this year actually after i had our second daughter in august he more I let him get away with the more he did ....he would cheat with so many women told me it was my fault that I wasn' showing him enough love .

    So I thought maybe if I show him more attention I'll be enough ...the first time he hit me for kicking out his friend he was having sex with in my house that I though was just a friend he made me believe that these girls were his friends he got mad because I wouldn't eat the food he ordered from dominos , he punched me in my chest and I was so angry I spit on him I couldn't believe he hit me ,then he spit back on me and started punching me all over my body . The next morning I had bruises on my arms and legs .

    That was when I began to blame myself saying it was my fault if I hadn't spit on him he wouldn't have done that to me ...he liked humiliating me tormenting me ... the second time he beat me so bad I was scared that I was gonna die I had bruises for weeks .he beat me for going through his phone and seeing how he was telling the girl that he had been cheating on me with for the whole two years of our relationship that I was a mistake that he regreted me and he loved her and wanted her to be his wife .

    That night I went to sleep I woke up to him starting an argument he said you just love making me mad and started punching me beating me I started crying begging for him to stop pleading that I was sorry he told me to shut up and told me since I wanna,be childish go stand in the corner and if I moved he would hit me with a phone charging wire he broke my phones abd i didnt have the money to replace them cut the laces to my shoes so i couldnt leave the house while he would leave me in the house all day so I couldn't talk to friends verbally abused me when I started reaching out to his mom for help my only family was his family.... i told her can she help me file a restraining order she read my messages on fb messenger and ignored me . She would tell me to leave her son then get mad when I did .

    When I wanted to finally break things off for good because his ex had messaged me on fb asking me what was going on with me and him were we together and I told her yes that hes trying to be a family and she had told me that he had been pursuing her telling her all these horrible things that i was a bad mother and he was trying to be a good dad to our kids when he calls my 1 year old a fat ass and a little f*cker slapped her in her face because she touched his wallet ....told him last week he completely lost it his mom told me not to call the police call her when it came to him so I listened and she came tried to get him to come and leave he wouldn' he was cussing me out saying he would shoot me and whoever I brought over to my house he lit a match and said to his mom I'm famous for starting fires right mom

    ...then he tells her my daughters will grow up stupid like me. Then he didn't leave till I called the police myself .his mom told me to get a restraining order so when I did she gets upset and calls me petty I asked for her help before getting it she didn't help me .then she completely switched up she's acting shady tried to trick me into dropping it by telling me she's gonna pick up my daughter's so that they can see their dad when the restraining Order states its for me and the kids so if I violate It they can drop the Order she saw that Im not as stupid as she thinks ...

    now I'm thinking she condones in her son beating me , need opinions please I'm having trouble sleeping at night eating , my daughter has nightmares shes 1 wakes up crying and holds on to.me while she's sleeping I feel so bad and angry for putting her through this for two years of emotional mental abuse I've lost so much Weight from not eating I'm scared to fall asleep, at night he did so much horrible stuff Im so sleepy can't even write It all ....
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 14, 2017
    Zoogal, crazydiamond47, Muted and 2 others like this.
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  3. berlinda

    berlinda On the way to find out :-) Premium Member Sponsor $100+

    Hi Pamdamarie24,

    I would not trust her anymore than I would trust him. She is not on your side, she likely wants to protect him from law enfor cement. She doesn't seem to have any interest in protecting you whatsoever.

    I don't know what country you are in but can you think of a way to contact domestic violence helplines or charities or websites?

    I am sorry you are going through all of this X
    Zoogal likes this.
  4. She Cat

    She Cat Policy Enforcement Banned Premium Member Sponsor $100+

    Get away from all of them. Stop talking to any of them. Change your number, block them on all social sites. Just GET AWAY from them......
    crazydiamond47 and mumstheword like this.
  5. EveHarrington

    EveHarrington _______ in progress. Premium Member

    You may love him, but he does not love you. Anyone who loves you would never do these things to you. Hugs.
    Zoogal and crazydiamond47 like this.
  6. Muted

    Muted I'm a VIP

    I hope you can find the support you need. A group or agency that works with those in domestic violence situations can be a tremendous help for you and your girls.

    You must feel very overwhelmed and confused right now, hang in there...
  7. Boudicca1969

    Boudicca1969 Policy Enforcement Banned

    I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I do hope that since you wrote this you and your babies are safe and well away from this monster (he ain't a real man) and his old witch of a mother. She's probably the reason why he is the way he is. He obviously hates women and with a mother like that it's not surprising. She probably only protects him from the consequences of his bad behaviour to protect herself. You and your babies are well shot of him love. As for having no family of your own you can make your own family of choice now. People who will love and care for you and your babies not hurt and terrify you all the way this arsehole has. He is not worthy of your love. To quote Maya Angelou when someone shows you who they are the first time, believe it. You and your babies deserve so much better darling. God bless you all CD xx
    Muted and Zoogal like this.
  8. Zoogal

    Zoogal I'm a VIP

    Get. The hell. Out. And. Stay. Out.

    If he is willing to talk about his own kids like that they are next. Is that what you want??

    The last thing those babies need is #1 a dad that beats their mom

    #2 a dad that tells them they are worthless

    #3 a dad that could potentially beat them.

    Run and never look back.

    He's a piece of crap.

    Chances are great that her husband ( his dad) beat her too. He learned it somewhere.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 13, 2018
    Muted and crazydiamond47 like this.
  9. Boudicca1969

    Boudicca1969 Policy Enforcement Banned

    @Zoogal you're probably spot on about this cnuts dad beating on his mum in front of him as a kid. A witness to violence is a victim of violence. This cnut probably identified with the offender thinking his dad was all big and powerful beating up women for sport. Chances are this cnut was also beaten by his dad. They rarely stop at just one victim. And so the cycle of abuse continues. The OP probably has abuse in her own childhood and family background as well. I know I did and that's why I kept attracting abusers myself. On some deep level out of conscious awareness I believed it was 'normal' to be treated like crap by blokes. It was my nasty older brothers in my case and my dad was a pussy whipped weakling who didn't dare stand up to the or protect from them. My brothers were too hard my dad too soft. I've yet to find a bloke somewhere between the two extremes. Perhaps they don't exist. Lol. Anyway I'm not even looking at the moment. I just can't trust any bloke now after going through the same as the OP poor lass. I just hope she and her kids are alright and she doesn't fall for his lies and manipulations again or his mum's. She wants to think the best of her abuser because of how far they go back and the fact they have kids together. But that side of him isn't real. Just a con to suck her in so he can carry on abusing her. I fell for the con many times myself. But now I know the truth about my own former abuser I won't be conned again. Hope the OP learns the same lesson I did. Without further damage to either herself or her nippers. Xx
    Zoogal likes this.
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