Hi, I'd keep reading this forum for a while, but I'm finally reaching out for some advice. I still wonder. I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for a year. For me, she is the love of my life, and I still love her no matter what. At first, we went on dating, and she talked with me about what she went through in her life:
She is in a family that never shows love to her; her mom treats her like she is the problem of her life since she was young. Her father loved her when she was a kid. But when she turned adult her father was always absent from her life. The first time she had trauma was when she went to the university. Her first ex has beaten her psychologically and emotionally. She felt worthless and kept looking out the window for years and then decided to go to therapy.
She is still recovering and has met a new one, the second ex; she thinks he is the one she can rely on, but this guy betrayed her. She realized that this man already had a wife. But never told her before, And she felt like an adulterer. She was so frustrated and hurt badly. She was in the situation for a year, too, and decided to come out.
Our relationships in the first 2 - 3 months were beautiful and amazing, but she became more distant as time passed. We're not living together, but we talk on the phone daily and meet weekly. The first time we fought, she screamed at me, became panic, treated me like I'm a worthless person, and I feel that way. Because I couldn't do anything back then to help her. So I just stay quiet by her side, but she'll ask me why I'm quiet and then become panic again.
That was when I discovered she might have PTSD due to her past experiences, and her trauma is still there even though she has been in therapy for a year. This happened 3 times in our relationships; we managed to get past it and get back together again.
But the last time was different. She recently has a new job and got COVID. I can't live nearby her, but I'm still sending her food and medicine be supported her as I can.
Then she returned to work, her boss treated her badly, and that day was her breaking point.
She told me she needed to break up with me and she would never return again. I felt so devastated and helpless. I want to help and care for her, but she never let me in. She said she was not ready for a relationship status right now and had nothing to do with me. She said she didn't feel anything for me anymore. It instantly switches off. She tells me she will get back to therapy on the weekend. That is when I start to give her boundaries and not text or call her.
But honestly, I'm caring for her and just want to see her. I went to the hospital, but she didn't come. I decided to call her, but she even left her phone with a stranger, and I couldn't find her for two days.
When she returns to work, I try going to visit her. At first, I thought I was going to be a surprise. But I should ask her permission first via text, and she always said no.
So I have decided to give her boundaries and not contact her anymore. I love her, I respect her as she is the love of my life, and all I can I hope is she will return to me.
I am here asking for advice on how to approach her situation. Do you think she will return? How should I handle this situation? Is there anyone who has likely the situation and can share their experience? Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time.
She is in a family that never shows love to her; her mom treats her like she is the problem of her life since she was young. Her father loved her when she was a kid. But when she turned adult her father was always absent from her life. The first time she had trauma was when she went to the university. Her first ex has beaten her psychologically and emotionally. She felt worthless and kept looking out the window for years and then decided to go to therapy.
She is still recovering and has met a new one, the second ex; she thinks he is the one she can rely on, but this guy betrayed her. She realized that this man already had a wife. But never told her before, And she felt like an adulterer. She was so frustrated and hurt badly. She was in the situation for a year, too, and decided to come out.
Our relationships in the first 2 - 3 months were beautiful and amazing, but she became more distant as time passed. We're not living together, but we talk on the phone daily and meet weekly. The first time we fought, she screamed at me, became panic, treated me like I'm a worthless person, and I feel that way. Because I couldn't do anything back then to help her. So I just stay quiet by her side, but she'll ask me why I'm quiet and then become panic again.
That was when I discovered she might have PTSD due to her past experiences, and her trauma is still there even though she has been in therapy for a year. This happened 3 times in our relationships; we managed to get past it and get back together again.
But the last time was different. She recently has a new job and got COVID. I can't live nearby her, but I'm still sending her food and medicine be supported her as I can.
Then she returned to work, her boss treated her badly, and that day was her breaking point.
She told me she needed to break up with me and she would never return again. I felt so devastated and helpless. I want to help and care for her, but she never let me in. She said she was not ready for a relationship status right now and had nothing to do with me. She said she didn't feel anything for me anymore. It instantly switches off. She tells me she will get back to therapy on the weekend. That is when I start to give her boundaries and not text or call her.
But honestly, I'm caring for her and just want to see her. I went to the hospital, but she didn't come. I decided to call her, but she even left her phone with a stranger, and I couldn't find her for two days.
When she returns to work, I try going to visit her. At first, I thought I was going to be a surprise. But I should ask her permission first via text, and she always said no.
So I have decided to give her boundaries and not contact her anymore. I love her, I respect her as she is the love of my life, and all I can I hope is she will return to me.
I am here asking for advice on how to approach her situation. Do you think she will return? How should I handle this situation? Is there anyone who has likely the situation and can share their experience? Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time.