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My Grandfather is Dying - Talking About It

Discussion in 'Social' started by Awakening, Sep 30, 2007.

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  1. Awakening

    Awakening Well-Known Member

    I'm a bit relunctant to post this, as it seems like a bit of a grab for sympathy, which is not what I want.

    But the one thing I've learnt, is that I have to talk about things as they come up or it makes my symptoms worse.

    At the moment I have my husband to talk to, but all my family are in another state (with my grandfather).

    My therapist is also on annual leave, so I need to get this out;

    He is 92. The doctors are saying he has maybe 48 hours to live. I think he wants to be his wife in heaven, and I think he wants to go. Just hard for those of us left behind to let him go I guess.

    In the meantime my brother recovering from an ice/alcohol addiction chooses this weekend to get pissed for the first time in months and hop in his car. Smashes car against tree. He is fine. Well he is at the moment, may not be when my father gets his hands on him.

    Thanks for letting me 'talk'.:hello:
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  3. wildfirewildone

    wildfirewildone Well-Known Member

    :Hug_emoticon:I'm sad to hear that you will be losing your grandfather....I know that grief is difficult to deal with and I'm glad your hubby is there to lean on....Of course...you are most welcome to vent here on the forum....:Hug_emoticon: You are most likely right on your observation that he just wants to go be with his wife....He's lived a long life and from what you say he's ready to go....I know it won't be easy but he'll be in a better place with her......As part of your grief work you could write down whatever "stories" you remember about him....but only when you're ready....PEACE
  4. She Cat

    She Cat Policy Enforcement Banned Premium Member Sponsor $100+


    I am so sorry to hear about the possibility of losing your grandfather...Mine passed at 95, he too wished to be with his wife, they had been married 55 yrs.

    Yes, it's always hard on those left behind, we miss them, and there is nothing we want more than to have them back.

    I hope that his passing is peaceful, and that you are ok.

    Prayers are with you and yours,

  5. Awakening

    Awakening Well-Known Member

    My grandfather passed away a couple of hours ago. He passed quickly & painlessly & knowing he was loved. He will be remembered with fondness by his children, grandchildren & great grandchildren.
  6. Marlene

    Marlene I'm a VIP Premium Member


    I'm so sorry to hear about your grandfather dying. Even when a loved one has had a long life, it's still so hard to say good bye.

    Keep talking, keep writing. Even if you're repeating yourself. It does help. Lean on your support system now.

    You're in my thoughts.
  7. erryyn

    erryyn Member

    So sorry to hear about your grandfather. I wish you the best and hope you have some support around you.
  8. batgirl

    batgirl I'm a VIP

    Sorry to hear about your grandfather Awakening. Take care, I'll be thinking about you.
  9. Kathy

    Kathy I'm a VIP

    Awakening, I am most sorry to hear of your loss. Take good care of yourself.
  10. Awakening

    Awakening Well-Known Member

    Thanks everyone, you are very kind. I'm glad I got my feelings out on this site. It's something I would never have done previously, so I guess that's progress.

    I haven't had a cry yet, but that will probably come in time. I saw my GP & she has given me some sleeping tablets to help me through this period. My GP would like me to ring my T to advise her what has happened with my grandfather (and also the tram accident I witnessed last week), but I don't want to disturb her on her holidays. I'm going to have to miss our scheduled appointment next week, so I think I will simply text her closer to that date.

    I'm going to speak to my boss shortly about getting some time off. Hopefully I can get a flight & maybe have a week off. I just really want to be with my family & they are all on the other side of the country.

    Thanks everyone, it really does help to be heard.
  11. becvan

    becvan Queen of the Blunt! Premium Member

    I'm sorry to hear about this Awakening.

    I'm glad talking about it is helping some. Talk away whenever you need to.

  12. batgirl

    batgirl I'm a VIP

    Talking is really important when you lose someone. I'm glad you were able to open up here and that it helped. Not crying, you are likely still in shock. Most people don't cry the first day... or even the first few days. Anyways take care and I hope you talk more.
  13. Awakening

    Awakening Well-Known Member

    Well you are all going to think I'm a complete psycho lunatic attention seeking delusional freak. Because well I do.

    I rang a family member to talk about our grandfather. It started off as a great conversation, healthy normal remininsicing. We talk more about childhood. Then this family member bursts into tears & tells me x person was inappropriate with him & confesses that as a result of this inappropriate behaviour he was once inappropriate with me. He feels badly for it, is so sorry, is seeing a shrink, wat

    I DO NOT REMEMBER ANY OF THIS, AND DO NOT THINK IT'S TRUE. This family member has had a drug problem for some years & is paranoid generally. But I'm so scared his going to make a scene at the funeral.

    I didn't tell this to the family member but I am in T because I think there was abuse towards me by a different person. Yet my memories are hazy at best.

    By the way this has nothing to do with my grandfather. But honestly I feel like I'm living in a parallel universe. My reality is no one else reality. I sometimes wonder was I in some accident a couple of years ago & I am currently in a coma?

    My T is currently on holidays. I saw my GP. She is lovely. She is concerned. She has given me her mobile. I was crying in there & panicking. She said a bunch of stuff I can't really remember, derealisation & retraumatisation.

    I feel like a freak. What the **** is wrong with my family? Seriously. I thought we were normal. That is my memory.
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