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My husband says that i'm selfish

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I got upset because he told my daughter that the only way he can sleep next to me is if he sleeps on the couch next to me.

He's right. I am selfish. There's nothing wrong with me, I'm just a bitch. I'll stick around because I like helping other people but otherwise I'm done.
 
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I just need to get over myself. Thank you all for everything.

Maybe it's my own recent moods bleeding through here but: what you said here kind of worries me. I'm probably just misunderstanding it. This isn't a euphemism for suicide or anything, right?

Also IMO: those are pretty mean words that your husband said to you. I personally have never heard those words uttered to me, and had them actually be true. I don't think those words are true for you, either. You certainly don't seem like a self-absorbed person to me, from what I've read of your posting here.

I got upset because he told my daughter that the only way he can sleep next to me is if he sleeps on the couch next to me.

That's pretty harsh for him to say, as well. I wish you didn't have to deal with his shittyness, nobody should be hearing such mean things from their partner. You shouldn't feel like he's the one in the right here - he's just saying things to purposefully piss you off, pretty much trying to dump his own anger onto you.

I'm sorry he's dealing with his negative emotions by saying cruel things to you. You don't deserve it. People without ptsd can't really comprehend it. Hugs

This right here.
 
He's right. I am selfish. There's nothing wrong with me, I'm just a bitch.

Woah! No no no. This is not true. I've never seen a smudge of bitchiness from you. This sounds entirely unfair to you as a person, someone managing a disorder of the brain. Did he call you a bitch?

My ex bf responded this way too. He still thinks I'm an evil, cruel, mean, selfish, bitchy crazy person while I thought the world of him. And it gets to me. It makes me feel bad and wonder if it's true about me. But we lived very different lives and have opposite support systems. He'd never understand this in a million years and even if he were to somehow get PTSD himself, he has a ton of people to support him through it while I can only rely on this site and my therapist alone.

Where he saw someone living in victimhood who created my own isolation, I know internally that I struggle with having been a victim and am on a grief cycle, trying my hardest to trust people, doing the work necessary to heal. Where he saw a "selfish bitch", I knew myself to be intensely triggered and dealing with demons he has never had the misfortune of meeting in his personal life.

Yeah he's your husband, but he doesn't know you better than you do. Remember that. God forgive them for they know not what they do...
 
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Woah! No no no. This is not true. I've never seen a smudge of bitchiness from you. This sounds ent...
Yeah but to be fair I was throwing names too.

I told him I was upset about him telling my daughter that and he started getting mad. It upset me and I told him he was being an asshole. Sorry
 
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:) arguments happen. We say things we don't mean. We regret it. We feel responsible or we feel victimized, usually both. We are just human. We are no better we are no less.

I think the best advice I can give is probably the hardest, and that is to forgive yourself and don't take what he says about you personally. Not taking things personally is so hard. But you know you're not a selfish bitch. You have your moments like we all do. But you're more than your moments. You're a mom, a daughter, a wife, a supportive caring person, you're plenty of things. You're more than your moments.

Maybe after you both cool off, you can talk about it calmly and set a rule from now on where name calling is not allowed from either of you.
 
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