My In-home Health Support and PTSD Hypervigilance

Recovery4Me

MyPTSD Pro
I donot suppose there are many on the board, that have an InHome Health Care Worker Relationship, but I thought I give it a whirl. As PTSD layers sometimes as a Disability on many other mental and physical health symptoms (or occasionally as a result) - if you become fortunate enough to age 🙌 you might be currently using or needing assistance for care.

I have gratitude for mine ( and all ) HealthCare Worker‘s service. Due to my Ménière’s Ear Disease, I have an assortment of episodic symptoms that prevent me from driving, standing, walking on a frequent basis, ie: functioning ect. <This is not for sympathy but to express that at times, the body stress increases the PTSD. Perhaps you may have a disease that is challenging or an additional mental health consideration that you face…so full respect to all those silently suffering and moving courageously forward! And I have help- so I am one of the fortunate ones as there are more boomers than care workers.

The questions that I am attempting to ramble to are this- if you do have support inhome or through another party or service, do you upon occasion have to regroup to let them assist? Does your Hypervigilance (or other symptoms) occasionally escalate to the point where you ask them to give you space that day ?

It is clear, it is in my own head : she is a gem. I just at times can not seem to cope with someone else’s energy and wanted to see if someone else had dealt with this successfully in a manner that made people who can help us, be able to do so? Thanks for any thoughts. Take care.
 

Friday

Moderator
I deal a loooooot better with nursing shifts, than staying with family, when I’ve got health stuff going on. Mostly? For exactly rhis

do you upon occasion have to regroup to let them assist? Does your Hypervigilance (or other symptoms) occasionally escalate to the point where you ask them to give you space that day ?

It is clear, it is in my own head : she is a gem. I just at times can not seem to cope with someone else’s energy
Nurses? Not only expect bad days, and days where you have to fight to let them do anything (or they have to fight to get you to let them), but their NOTES have medical relavance. Which gets my meds shifted around better/faster, or gets me appointments with useful people on the QV! Yay! Win/win/win

As opposed to family, who make bad days worse by blowing up about them instead of shrugging them off or notating patterns to be addressed (by doctors not by lectures on how I suck); and who DO shrug off things that are medically relevant, whilst minimizing things to doctors if/when asked (or when bitching to docs, are shrugged off as bitchy family members) so -at best- my recovery moves a loooooot slower than it should/could be, with a lot more stress.

Becuase nurses reactions and (My) family reactions? Are pretty much the exact opposite.

❤️ 💕 💗 💕 ❤️ Faaaaawk I love nurses!!! ❤️ 💕 💗 💕 ❤️

Becuase, yeah. Sooooo much a thing, being exhausted by others, and shifting into “I’m FINE! Go away!” survival mode, especially on bad days when I really “need” help, and having to use every last scrap of energy to let them do anything. And, yep! No compunction whatsoever about asking for some space to clear my head / unclench. Nearly every nurse I’ve ever met is grateful for that bit of warning, rather than being lashed out at.

^^^^
Most if this? I wish I’d known a lot earlier in my career. It wasn’t until my son got sick and I started dialogueing with nurses from a 3rd party perspective that I lost all shame in being really up front with them about how I am doing, (instead of trying to be on my best behavior all the time, and not only paying the price for that, but also failing hard on more occasions than I care to think about) when I’m the one with 2-3 shifts up in my business.
 
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internal

Sponsor
do you upon occasion have to regroup to let them assist? Does your Hypervigilance (or other symptoms) occasionally escalate to the point where you ask them to give you space that day ?
nurses literally do not give a f*ck. it always made me laugh (mostly so i don't dissolve into the Shame Cube) to remember how horrifying of a patient i was. and not one eye ball batted. and i am talking... yelled. screamed. threw things. cut myself. showed up high/drunk. said the absolute worst shit possible. tried to flirt with everyone who even looked at me. i'm sure "grief is a wild animal" was written on my chart at some point.

but they kept showing up. kept calm. just did the whole "alright buddy" shtick. chances are they have seen and dealt with far worse. far. worse. and you may feel like a burden because it shouldn't be up to whether or not other people are behaving poorly, but at the same time-in the run of a day, being yelled at vs being asked politely for some space-one of those things is not like the other.

just be honest and open about what you need and i am certain they will appreciate that and oblige. it is a lot easier than being spit on, bled all over, name called, accused of abuse, sued, groped, etc etc etc etc.
 

Recovery4Me

MyPTSD Pro
@Friday and @grief Thank you so much for the quick responses. It really does help me solidify a grounding theme when people such as yourselves offer your viewpoints from your life experiences.

Indeed Friday…family has their own well meaning (🤔?) objectives that do not always seem to coordinate with my need set. A lot of stress can be added from those things/goals that may make sense to family (even the health field) ect…but not to me by trying to impose new boundaries on my vices or loves - lol. My 5 cigarettes a day habit, then coffee (as you know great for ADHD not so much for Ménière’s) and my dog (as he is a crazy lad when I can walk). These things are my joys. So thanks for sharing about the fast track theme for meds and other confirming support.

Hey @grief … You know what is odd to read you openly describe our possible bad behaviors 😂. I mean, I must live in denial about that area and think I am so calm. But then the other party’s eyes get wider while I am being so proud I am being contained and handling it. I guess it is relative to what I use to do, you know? 😉 So thanks for the visual, laughter as well as your 2 cents. Take care.

Gotta luv Nurses!❤️❤️❤️
 

Mach123

MyPTSD Pro
I have seen end of life in home care that was pretty good. The rest of it isn’t worth doing imho. My sister is a frail elder and she won’t let them come “help” because they are, in general, more trouble than they’re worth. We have the same problems with getting help with our daughters . We don’t get help we get another babysitting job. They don’t show up, they call at the last moment, they can’t do any without hand holding, high turnover and etc. There are lots of factors that contribute, the largest probably is that the pay suks. So if you can get anyone to help you at all, you’re ahead.
 
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