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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Dolce" data-source="post: 1781508" data-attributes="member: 51554">I would like new relationships. I would like my life not to hinge on my Mother and or be defined by the horrendous abuses that happened to me all over the place...in my home and in systems that got manipulated....and bad lawyers...etc. There is lack of due process in the things I was put through and it's hard to reconcile again b/c I was and am the victim even was followed weeks ago...but I am trying. I tell myself Im proud of you for this or that b/c my family won't. My car almost died at the groc store where my Mom has seen me....and some strangers cared were willing to help...(It didn't die). Had my Mom been there she wouldn't have lifted a finger. Well she put this PFA on me....yet follows me. Anyways I got myself to the mechanics took shuttles provided...no friends or fam help replaced the starter...on my own. I got better at driving. Im still not long distance driver but year and half ago the time she did this I could barely drive at all. I was in the ER the day of the Stepdads assault w injuries and a bp emergency. Didn't matter. Stranded...didn't matter. I have done anesthesia procedures w/o any fam help. I have lived on my own for last two years. I visit my Nana (100) when I can in her skilled nursing home. I don't like seeing her there but I have no say in her care. I do what I can. I decorated her board when it was empty and provide her clothes and personal supplies when I saw she didn't have them. I should try to see her soon. I worried my Mom might interfere w this? So far she has not. The depths she sank to in last year and half to two and hlf years when I needed family most needed surgeries was....astounding. I had a life saving one done out of town for kidney stones almost sabotaged by her but barely coordinate with her after 6 mos delay due to Covid...one month before she did what she did to me officially. Hmm. Idk. With family like this???? But anyways I wonder how new ppl can relate to me...what do I say when the inevitable ??? comes up about family...I have none. I think new ppl new relationships don't want to hear my whole sob stories and I don't want to let my Mom and the abuse sabotage my entire life???? It's ruined alot....but I want to overcome it as best I can. I wanted (foolishly) to even hope maybe I could speak to my Mom someday again but....I know that would come w huge risks....and potentials for harm to me....that I didn't and don't deserve. I want to try and live and my Mom I think has prevented me from that. I want to live more in the here and now and have some pride and some stability. Thank you for the kind words.</blockquote>

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