D
Deleted member 34561
Yep it's true I'm afraid friends. The c*nt only got close to me so she could find out what I knew about my ex my mum etc and their nonce ring and HOW I knew it. The bitch tried to set me up to be falsely accused of fiddling her teenage son. Would you f*cking credit it?!
She deliberately left me alone with the lad to go get pizza when she had 2 freezers full of food in her kitchen she could have fed him from. We were alone in her house for maybe 15 minutes and for all that time I sat out in the kitchen while he sat in the living room playing his online game on the telly. I didn't realise what my new 'fiend' (not a misspelling) was up to at first but she kept firing question after question at me about the nonce ring stuff and kept back tracking in her questioning to make sure she had it clear in her head. I felt like I was in a police interview it was that intense. And I didn't have a good feeling about it at all.
Then she said I ought to be careful who I told this stuff to because I could be talking to the wrong person about it and it could get me in bother. That's what gave her game away without the dozy cow realising she'd just dropped herself in it big time with me. Alarm bells were ringing in my head and I had a horrible gut feeling about her when that happened.
I then looked back at how and when we met. Just two weeks ago. In an AA meeting the same day I saw that creepy shrink at Spectrum which this c*nt also attends, surprise surprise. My old key worker at Spectrum had just left her job at that place as well and I'd told her I was back at AA again and she was the one who got me put on the acamprosate to reduce the craving for booze and to relieve the anxiety. She also arranged the appointment the following week with the nasty psychiatrist. Hmmmmm seems very odd now friends. I've since stopped taking that medication because I didn't like how it was making me feel, sort of wooly headed and spaced out, you know, not quite with it. I now wonder if that's the real reason I was even prescribed that medication at all. Most fishy friends.
I then saw my new 'mate' a week later at the same AA meeting I first met her at and we swapped mobile numbers with me, and then burst into tears about her deceased mum and husband after the meeting and I comforted her. This is how she manipulated me and got me hooked in to her evil plan. In other words she got me feeling sorry for her. What a bitch. She then gave me a lift home in her car (I didn't need one as my home is only an 5 minute walk from the meeting) and then spent nearly half an hour asking me all sorts of questions about myself while we were sitting in her car outside my house. I honestly didn't see it for what it was at the time and I feel like such a f*cking idiot now. I believed at the time she was just showing an interest in my life because she liked me and wanted to get to know me better. How wrong I was.
So I didn't see T for 3 days but we were texting back and forth as you do and on the 2nd night I didn't see her but we spent over two hours on the phone. Her bill not mine thank God. Anyway I told her about going to Spiritualist church on a Sunday and she decided she wanted to come with me. I've written about what happened before and during the service elsewhere so no need for me to repeat myself but I still thought she was the real deal at this point.
We got back to our home village after the church service and quickly stopped off at mine to make sure my dog was alright and to let her out for toilet. Then T took us both back to her house where I met her teenage son for the first time. He seemed like a nice kid but his mum told me he is currently on the child protection register with social services for emotional abuse and neglect because of his mum's drinking before she went into residential rehab 2.5 months ago. I had a funny feeling when my new 'mate' told me all this but I pushed it away because I felt sorry for them both having had dealings with social services myself over my own kids years ago and knowing what bastards social workers can be. But I now wonder if this was more manipulation on T's part and not really the truth.
She also went into great detail about her mum's and husband's deaths and how her grief over them drove her into the bottle. Naturally I empathised with her because that was also my way of dealing with all my own losses as well. But what was strange about it was how T kept saying we must keep our voices low when talking about it so her son didn't hear us. She said it was because she didn't want to upset him because there were certain things he didn't know about his father's death seeing as he was a heroin addict and had died of an overdose on relapsing after getting out of rehab for it. T said she was just protecting her boy from the gruesome details as she thought he was too young being only 13 now and just 11 when his dad died, to be able to handle it. I did think this was a bit odd especially when she then said her son didn't know he was even on the at risk register.
This didn't ring true to me as I can recall both my kids being fully aware of it when they were both on the at risk register themselves because of my ex before they were both taken into care. Simply because the social workers were crawling all over us and coming to our home to talk to my kids and were also visiting them to talk to them at school. And they would tell my kids that they were social workers as well. But again I dismissed my strange emotions and doubts about what T was saying and didn't realise she was most likely lying about it all and just didn't want her boy to hear her lying to me so he wouldn't question it later on himself to his mum.
Anyway T kept me there at her home until two am the following morning and kept asking me about all this shit with my ex my mum and my eldest son etc and the nonce ring. As she did on Friday night just gone she kept back tracking and going over certain things with me, she said to make sure she understood it all correctly so she could support me with it. I now realise it was a load of old bollocks her saying that to me, and she was just pumping me for information to report back to the nonces. I found myself feeling quite irritated with T as she did this, but cut her some slack as she told me she was a bit thick and not as clever as me so she needed me to explain it all to her so she could help me. A likely bloody story I now know. That f*cking c*nt.
Anyway at 2am she suddenly said she was tired and needed to go to bed and couldn't run me home and asked me if I wanted to stay the night. I said no mate got to get home for the Rubes (my dog) and need my night time meds else I wouldn't sleep. T then offered me the money for a cab, and this was after she had told me about her money worries because the dole had cut her benefits because of previous savings she had before she shelled out 4 grand for residential rehab. She had also told me that she was working a part time cleaning job on the sly that the dole didn't know about, I now think this was a test to see how I'd react to it and it was also another ploy to elicit sympathy for her from me in other words, just more manipulation and lies.
I then said I can't possibly take money off you when I know how skint you are mate and that I'd walk home instead. T then said are you sure I'm worried about your safety to which I replied have no fear mate I've got DM boots on my feet and I know what to do with them. Besides no one will be around at this time of the morning and if they are I know how to defend myself. T then made out she would be expecting a text from me as soon as I was indoors and home safely else she wouldn't be able to sleep for worrying about me. That bitch didn't reply when I did as she asked when I got home 15 minutes later so she couldn't have been that f*cking concerned. No she was just faking care for my safety and wellbeing, more manipulation and lies. I asked her the next day why she hadn't replied and she said she'd fallen asleep by the time I'd texted her. In just 15 minutes?? Yeah right. Another pile of old fanny. God this c*nt really saw me coming didn't she friends? And played me like a f*cking violin.
Anyway the next day T picked me up in her car to take us both to the relapse prevention group at Spectrum. Strangely she asked me not to declare we were mates and had come in together to the rest of the group when we arrived. She said it was because she didn't want the others knowing as she didn't like them knowing her personal business for one thing and that for another it might make my other mate Lil in the group jealous.
Again I didn't see this for what it was. Of course she didn't want them knowing because of what she was planning to do to me over her teenage son on behalf of the nonces and knew if I went back in there if it happened she would be exposed as a right bitch to the rest of them because my mate Lil who also knows about the nonce ring stuff (who can be trusted) would tell the truth and defend me to the rest of them. Devious cow.
So I did as T asked and kept schtum about our friendship. Afterwards she then gave me a lift to my AA meeting and I arranged to nip round hers after that to collect my washing that she'd offered to do. Instead I got out of the meeting to find her waiting outside in her car to pick me up, she said because it was raining. We then went to the garage where there is a Tesco Express because she said she had a few bits to get shopping wise. Fair enough I thought.
We got back to hers after that then an hour later her boy said he was hungry and wanted dinner. He wanted a takeout and they had a little row about it in front of me. She told him no because she couldn't afford it and then said how about a chicken caeser sandwich from Tesco Express. I then said but you have loads of food in your freezers mate surely you can throw a quick something together for L (her son) from what you have already got? T then said oh I can't be f*cking arsed and I even offered to help her cook for him. She then said oh I'll just run quickly to Tesco it's easier that way and I said well I'll come with you, it's getting late now anyway so you might as well drop me home at the same time because I'm bloody knackered. No she said I'll be quicker on my own and I'll drop you home when I get back I'll only be 5 minutes. I wasn't happy about it at the time and I'm even more unhappy about it now because I can see it was an attempted stitch up. Horrible cow.
So off she goes and I've had a a few quick chat with her son about not liking his online game because it was too violent for my tastes and went out to sit in the kitchen. 15 minutes later not 5 T arrives back with a pizza not sandwiches. I thought this was odd because I'd seen a pizza in one of her freezers the night before when she showed me the contents when we were discussing our food shopping habits budgeting etc.
I said to her you have a pizza in that freezer mate and she looked in it and said oh silly me I forgot it I needn't have gone to Tesco now. Of course she didn't f*cking forget it she knew it was in there the whole bloody time. But the c*nt deliberately left me alone with her kid and she had got it out of me the night before that my ex and my mum had got both my own kids to falsely accuse me of sexually abusing them so the social workers would look at me instead of the ones really doing the abusing ie themselves. What an evil bitch eh friends.
So she cooks the pizza she bought from the shop and shares it out between me and her boy. Then T runs me home with my washing. I then don't see hide nor hair of her for the next two days and I don't even get a phone call in that time just texts from her saying she's busy with this that and the other. After she had been full on and in my f*cking face for the previous week. I suppose she had what she wanted from me by then but I still didn't realise what was truly afoot. I wasn't too bothered though because quite honestly I was tired out and drained from dealing with her. And also stressed and triggered to hell.
I had a terrible nightmare wee hours of Thursday morning about my very early childhood trauma. It set off the urge to drink in me and I went looking for an offie who would serve me booze at 7am. By 8am I was getting stuck into the beer. I rang T at 9am 2 beers in to say I'd picked up and was in bother. She was at my house by 9.20. She then spent the next two hours with me seemingly being kindness itself to me. It was just another part of the con. She faked concern for me asking me if I was suicidal at all. I said no not at all and she was like are you sure? I said no mate I'm just f*cking hurting and scared about everything. I wouldn't commit suicide as it would be a broken contract with Him Upstairs so I'm in it for the long haul. No matter how I feel. She pressed me again about it and I said look T leave it please will ya it's starting to piss me off you keep asking me about it. It's like you don't believe me mate. She then backed off and said she had to go to work but she thought I should go to the AA meeting that night that we had met at two weeks before and confess my slip to the other women there and that I should be honest about it. She said she would be at that meeting herself after work but she never turned up. I've written elsewhere about it on here but what I forgot to mention was that two of the other women there told me that T had told them this wasn't my only slip. I said you must be mistaken and they said oh no she was quite clear about it. Obviously I then said well I don't know why she did that. Why would she lie? One of these other women said to me it doesn't matter if you did lie about slipping before and it's like they believed T over me.
Well I was totally f*cking wankered drunk by this time and let it go convinced there had been a mistake. I got home after going in the offie on the way home from this meeting where I discovered that my ex had been in there a few days previously and had got some beer on credit and had told the girl in the shop that I would pay for them the next time I was in. I've also written about this elsewhere on here and was most upset about it when I got home. I was ranting and raving about it to myself with my music on really loud on my stereo in the kitchen and who should appear suddenly at my back door but T. I thought she was my ex for a split second then when I realised it was her I let her in.
What I didn't write about before was how T then made out to me that she thought I was psychotic and delusional and therefore a danger to myself other people as well as my dog. She said it ain't normal what you're doing mate I'd better call an ambulance so they can take you to hospital because you're not well. I quickly calmed myself down and told her there was no need for that and that I wasn't off my rocker I was just upset and told her about what I'd learnt from the girl in the shop about my ex sniffing round me again and causing problems for me in the shop. T said nah that can't be right why would he do that when you said he's in trouble with the law over those other kids. Surely he wouldn't risk getting himself nicked again for bothering you like she didn't believe me. I couldn't be bothered to argue with her and what with what had happened at the AA meeting with the other women I was starting to have my doubts and suspicions about T by then. But again I dismissed them as me paranoid because I was pie eyed drunk and because I really wanted to believe she was my mate and really had my best interests at heart. I was wrong.
But anyway she left me after about an hour after I convinced her I wasn't bonkers. She took another load of my washing with her and said she would drop it back to me Friday. I didn't hear from her all day Friday and it got to half 5 and I was due to leave to go to another AA meeting in a short while so I texted T to ask where she was and would she be here soon? I never heard back from her then she turned up unannounced at 7pm and I needed to leave my house to get to that meeting within the half hour or I would be late. She didn't leave until 7.45 even though I told her I was then going to be late for my meeting. During her visit she did the interrogation thing again over the nonce stuff and that's when she said I should be careful who I discussed it with. When I said I was now late for my meeting because I'd missed the bus I also asked her to give me a lift so I could still be on time. She was then quite antsy with me and said she'd already done loads for me this last week and needed to get home to her son. I was quite taken aback and upset by her change in attitude but didn't show it to her. Off she went and I then decided to not go to the meeting after all because I hate walking in late as I think it's rude and inconsiderate to the other members especially if they are in the middle of a share.
And that's when I started thinking about T and how quickly she had latched on to me and how intense it had been and how she had acted weirdly and how she had done all this stuff for me and how she had lied to the women at our mutual AA group and how she had pumped me for details about the nonce ring stuff and how she had left me alone with her kid and how she had intimated I was crazy the day before and how she had just been cross with me for no reason I could see.
And suddenly the penny bloody well dropped and I had a really sick cold feeling in my tummy as I understood what she'd really been up to all the way along. I was f*cking furious and texted her to tell her so and why I felt like that. I also did it to cover my arse and to protect myself from the consequences of what she was planning to do regarding an attempt to set me up by falsely accusing me of molesting her kid so it was all on my phone records as well as hers in case the old bill came knocking at my door over it. A pre emptive strike if you will. I got in first before the c*nt could do it to me.
Naturally T denied it all and said it proved I was paranoid and loony and that I'd just lost myself the one person I could trust with my very life. I then said pull the other one mate it's got f*cking bells on it. I told her I knew she was planning to destroy what's left of my life and to take her lies and bullshit elsewhere because I wasn't buying it anymore. I told her she was a fool to take me for a c*nt when she is the c*nt not me. I told her to piss off and to never darken my doorway again or else. I also told her to give a message to the nonces. Nice try try harder you evil f*ckers. And that was that and I ain't heard from her since.
But it means I can't go back to Spectrum and I can't go to local AA meetings now and I can't go back to my usual church because thanks to T my reputation and credibility is now in shreds in those places. I wanted to leave Spectrum anyway over the creepy shrink and the way they keep letting me down over the lack of continuity of care regarding key workers and the fact that they offered me a male worker last week when they know I can't work with a man for bloody obvious reasons. So I wrote them an email today explaining my position and telling them I was leaving and complained about the horrible shrink while I was at it. Naturally I never mentioned the nonce ring to that evil bastard when I saw him and I never mentioned it in the email either. Getting wise in my old age peeps. Lol. My parting shot as it were. Hope it gets the sick c*nt sacked.
And I'm not going to any more local AA meetings now since T has poisoned the well for me there with her lies so I will have to go further afield to continue my recovery but have free disabled bus pass will travel lol so that ain't a biggie really. And finally there were a couple of people at that church I really didn't like including the other spy who tried to cause trouble for me there before and she's still attending. So I've found another church in the opposite direction not too far from me. Only half an hour on the bus. And I will start afresh friends.
But I'll tell you this. I'm not mentioning the nonce ring stuff to anyone outside the four walls of my home now. Especially if someone asks me about it. And if they do I will tell them to mind their own f*cking business. Just goes to show there ain't nobody in real life I can trust with it especially where I live. I've stepped up my efforts to find a new home as soon as possible. I've also turned down the flat in the West Country. Because I told T about that and Spectrum and the local AAers. Because when I leave this area I don't want anyone knowing where I've gone. Because I know they will try to find me and ruin my life all over again if they do. Bastards.
Phew I've written a bloody novel there folks. If you got this far well done lol. Thanks for the vent space. Much appreciated :)
Cheers
Boudicca xx
She deliberately left me alone with the lad to go get pizza when she had 2 freezers full of food in her kitchen she could have fed him from. We were alone in her house for maybe 15 minutes and for all that time I sat out in the kitchen while he sat in the living room playing his online game on the telly. I didn't realise what my new 'fiend' (not a misspelling) was up to at first but she kept firing question after question at me about the nonce ring stuff and kept back tracking in her questioning to make sure she had it clear in her head. I felt like I was in a police interview it was that intense. And I didn't have a good feeling about it at all.
Then she said I ought to be careful who I told this stuff to because I could be talking to the wrong person about it and it could get me in bother. That's what gave her game away without the dozy cow realising she'd just dropped herself in it big time with me. Alarm bells were ringing in my head and I had a horrible gut feeling about her when that happened.
I then looked back at how and when we met. Just two weeks ago. In an AA meeting the same day I saw that creepy shrink at Spectrum which this c*nt also attends, surprise surprise. My old key worker at Spectrum had just left her job at that place as well and I'd told her I was back at AA again and she was the one who got me put on the acamprosate to reduce the craving for booze and to relieve the anxiety. She also arranged the appointment the following week with the nasty psychiatrist. Hmmmmm seems very odd now friends. I've since stopped taking that medication because I didn't like how it was making me feel, sort of wooly headed and spaced out, you know, not quite with it. I now wonder if that's the real reason I was even prescribed that medication at all. Most fishy friends.
I then saw my new 'mate' a week later at the same AA meeting I first met her at and we swapped mobile numbers with me, and then burst into tears about her deceased mum and husband after the meeting and I comforted her. This is how she manipulated me and got me hooked in to her evil plan. In other words she got me feeling sorry for her. What a bitch. She then gave me a lift home in her car (I didn't need one as my home is only an 5 minute walk from the meeting) and then spent nearly half an hour asking me all sorts of questions about myself while we were sitting in her car outside my house. I honestly didn't see it for what it was at the time and I feel like such a f*cking idiot now. I believed at the time she was just showing an interest in my life because she liked me and wanted to get to know me better. How wrong I was.
So I didn't see T for 3 days but we were texting back and forth as you do and on the 2nd night I didn't see her but we spent over two hours on the phone. Her bill not mine thank God. Anyway I told her about going to Spiritualist church on a Sunday and she decided she wanted to come with me. I've written about what happened before and during the service elsewhere so no need for me to repeat myself but I still thought she was the real deal at this point.
We got back to our home village after the church service and quickly stopped off at mine to make sure my dog was alright and to let her out for toilet. Then T took us both back to her house where I met her teenage son for the first time. He seemed like a nice kid but his mum told me he is currently on the child protection register with social services for emotional abuse and neglect because of his mum's drinking before she went into residential rehab 2.5 months ago. I had a funny feeling when my new 'mate' told me all this but I pushed it away because I felt sorry for them both having had dealings with social services myself over my own kids years ago and knowing what bastards social workers can be. But I now wonder if this was more manipulation on T's part and not really the truth.
She also went into great detail about her mum's and husband's deaths and how her grief over them drove her into the bottle. Naturally I empathised with her because that was also my way of dealing with all my own losses as well. But what was strange about it was how T kept saying we must keep our voices low when talking about it so her son didn't hear us. She said it was because she didn't want to upset him because there were certain things he didn't know about his father's death seeing as he was a heroin addict and had died of an overdose on relapsing after getting out of rehab for it. T said she was just protecting her boy from the gruesome details as she thought he was too young being only 13 now and just 11 when his dad died, to be able to handle it. I did think this was a bit odd especially when she then said her son didn't know he was even on the at risk register.
This didn't ring true to me as I can recall both my kids being fully aware of it when they were both on the at risk register themselves because of my ex before they were both taken into care. Simply because the social workers were crawling all over us and coming to our home to talk to my kids and were also visiting them to talk to them at school. And they would tell my kids that they were social workers as well. But again I dismissed my strange emotions and doubts about what T was saying and didn't realise she was most likely lying about it all and just didn't want her boy to hear her lying to me so he wouldn't question it later on himself to his mum.
Anyway T kept me there at her home until two am the following morning and kept asking me about all this shit with my ex my mum and my eldest son etc and the nonce ring. As she did on Friday night just gone she kept back tracking and going over certain things with me, she said to make sure she understood it all correctly so she could support me with it. I now realise it was a load of old bollocks her saying that to me, and she was just pumping me for information to report back to the nonces. I found myself feeling quite irritated with T as she did this, but cut her some slack as she told me she was a bit thick and not as clever as me so she needed me to explain it all to her so she could help me. A likely bloody story I now know. That f*cking c*nt.
Anyway at 2am she suddenly said she was tired and needed to go to bed and couldn't run me home and asked me if I wanted to stay the night. I said no mate got to get home for the Rubes (my dog) and need my night time meds else I wouldn't sleep. T then offered me the money for a cab, and this was after she had told me about her money worries because the dole had cut her benefits because of previous savings she had before she shelled out 4 grand for residential rehab. She had also told me that she was working a part time cleaning job on the sly that the dole didn't know about, I now think this was a test to see how I'd react to it and it was also another ploy to elicit sympathy for her from me in other words, just more manipulation and lies.
I then said I can't possibly take money off you when I know how skint you are mate and that I'd walk home instead. T then said are you sure I'm worried about your safety to which I replied have no fear mate I've got DM boots on my feet and I know what to do with them. Besides no one will be around at this time of the morning and if they are I know how to defend myself. T then made out she would be expecting a text from me as soon as I was indoors and home safely else she wouldn't be able to sleep for worrying about me. That bitch didn't reply when I did as she asked when I got home 15 minutes later so she couldn't have been that f*cking concerned. No she was just faking care for my safety and wellbeing, more manipulation and lies. I asked her the next day why she hadn't replied and she said she'd fallen asleep by the time I'd texted her. In just 15 minutes?? Yeah right. Another pile of old fanny. God this c*nt really saw me coming didn't she friends? And played me like a f*cking violin.
Anyway the next day T picked me up in her car to take us both to the relapse prevention group at Spectrum. Strangely she asked me not to declare we were mates and had come in together to the rest of the group when we arrived. She said it was because she didn't want the others knowing as she didn't like them knowing her personal business for one thing and that for another it might make my other mate Lil in the group jealous.
Again I didn't see this for what it was. Of course she didn't want them knowing because of what she was planning to do to me over her teenage son on behalf of the nonces and knew if I went back in there if it happened she would be exposed as a right bitch to the rest of them because my mate Lil who also knows about the nonce ring stuff (who can be trusted) would tell the truth and defend me to the rest of them. Devious cow.
So I did as T asked and kept schtum about our friendship. Afterwards she then gave me a lift to my AA meeting and I arranged to nip round hers after that to collect my washing that she'd offered to do. Instead I got out of the meeting to find her waiting outside in her car to pick me up, she said because it was raining. We then went to the garage where there is a Tesco Express because she said she had a few bits to get shopping wise. Fair enough I thought.
We got back to hers after that then an hour later her boy said he was hungry and wanted dinner. He wanted a takeout and they had a little row about it in front of me. She told him no because she couldn't afford it and then said how about a chicken caeser sandwich from Tesco Express. I then said but you have loads of food in your freezers mate surely you can throw a quick something together for L (her son) from what you have already got? T then said oh I can't be f*cking arsed and I even offered to help her cook for him. She then said oh I'll just run quickly to Tesco it's easier that way and I said well I'll come with you, it's getting late now anyway so you might as well drop me home at the same time because I'm bloody knackered. No she said I'll be quicker on my own and I'll drop you home when I get back I'll only be 5 minutes. I wasn't happy about it at the time and I'm even more unhappy about it now because I can see it was an attempted stitch up. Horrible cow.
So off she goes and I've had a a few quick chat with her son about not liking his online game because it was too violent for my tastes and went out to sit in the kitchen. 15 minutes later not 5 T arrives back with a pizza not sandwiches. I thought this was odd because I'd seen a pizza in one of her freezers the night before when she showed me the contents when we were discussing our food shopping habits budgeting etc.
I said to her you have a pizza in that freezer mate and she looked in it and said oh silly me I forgot it I needn't have gone to Tesco now. Of course she didn't f*cking forget it she knew it was in there the whole bloody time. But the c*nt deliberately left me alone with her kid and she had got it out of me the night before that my ex and my mum had got both my own kids to falsely accuse me of sexually abusing them so the social workers would look at me instead of the ones really doing the abusing ie themselves. What an evil bitch eh friends.
So she cooks the pizza she bought from the shop and shares it out between me and her boy. Then T runs me home with my washing. I then don't see hide nor hair of her for the next two days and I don't even get a phone call in that time just texts from her saying she's busy with this that and the other. After she had been full on and in my f*cking face for the previous week. I suppose she had what she wanted from me by then but I still didn't realise what was truly afoot. I wasn't too bothered though because quite honestly I was tired out and drained from dealing with her. And also stressed and triggered to hell.
I had a terrible nightmare wee hours of Thursday morning about my very early childhood trauma. It set off the urge to drink in me and I went looking for an offie who would serve me booze at 7am. By 8am I was getting stuck into the beer. I rang T at 9am 2 beers in to say I'd picked up and was in bother. She was at my house by 9.20. She then spent the next two hours with me seemingly being kindness itself to me. It was just another part of the con. She faked concern for me asking me if I was suicidal at all. I said no not at all and she was like are you sure? I said no mate I'm just f*cking hurting and scared about everything. I wouldn't commit suicide as it would be a broken contract with Him Upstairs so I'm in it for the long haul. No matter how I feel. She pressed me again about it and I said look T leave it please will ya it's starting to piss me off you keep asking me about it. It's like you don't believe me mate. She then backed off and said she had to go to work but she thought I should go to the AA meeting that night that we had met at two weeks before and confess my slip to the other women there and that I should be honest about it. She said she would be at that meeting herself after work but she never turned up. I've written elsewhere about it on here but what I forgot to mention was that two of the other women there told me that T had told them this wasn't my only slip. I said you must be mistaken and they said oh no she was quite clear about it. Obviously I then said well I don't know why she did that. Why would she lie? One of these other women said to me it doesn't matter if you did lie about slipping before and it's like they believed T over me.
Well I was totally f*cking wankered drunk by this time and let it go convinced there had been a mistake. I got home after going in the offie on the way home from this meeting where I discovered that my ex had been in there a few days previously and had got some beer on credit and had told the girl in the shop that I would pay for them the next time I was in. I've also written about this elsewhere on here and was most upset about it when I got home. I was ranting and raving about it to myself with my music on really loud on my stereo in the kitchen and who should appear suddenly at my back door but T. I thought she was my ex for a split second then when I realised it was her I let her in.
What I didn't write about before was how T then made out to me that she thought I was psychotic and delusional and therefore a danger to myself other people as well as my dog. She said it ain't normal what you're doing mate I'd better call an ambulance so they can take you to hospital because you're not well. I quickly calmed myself down and told her there was no need for that and that I wasn't off my rocker I was just upset and told her about what I'd learnt from the girl in the shop about my ex sniffing round me again and causing problems for me in the shop. T said nah that can't be right why would he do that when you said he's in trouble with the law over those other kids. Surely he wouldn't risk getting himself nicked again for bothering you like she didn't believe me. I couldn't be bothered to argue with her and what with what had happened at the AA meeting with the other women I was starting to have my doubts and suspicions about T by then. But again I dismissed them as me paranoid because I was pie eyed drunk and because I really wanted to believe she was my mate and really had my best interests at heart. I was wrong.
But anyway she left me after about an hour after I convinced her I wasn't bonkers. She took another load of my washing with her and said she would drop it back to me Friday. I didn't hear from her all day Friday and it got to half 5 and I was due to leave to go to another AA meeting in a short while so I texted T to ask where she was and would she be here soon? I never heard back from her then she turned up unannounced at 7pm and I needed to leave my house to get to that meeting within the half hour or I would be late. She didn't leave until 7.45 even though I told her I was then going to be late for my meeting. During her visit she did the interrogation thing again over the nonce stuff and that's when she said I should be careful who I discussed it with. When I said I was now late for my meeting because I'd missed the bus I also asked her to give me a lift so I could still be on time. She was then quite antsy with me and said she'd already done loads for me this last week and needed to get home to her son. I was quite taken aback and upset by her change in attitude but didn't show it to her. Off she went and I then decided to not go to the meeting after all because I hate walking in late as I think it's rude and inconsiderate to the other members especially if they are in the middle of a share.
And that's when I started thinking about T and how quickly she had latched on to me and how intense it had been and how she had acted weirdly and how she had done all this stuff for me and how she had lied to the women at our mutual AA group and how she had pumped me for details about the nonce ring stuff and how she had left me alone with her kid and how she had intimated I was crazy the day before and how she had just been cross with me for no reason I could see.
And suddenly the penny bloody well dropped and I had a really sick cold feeling in my tummy as I understood what she'd really been up to all the way along. I was f*cking furious and texted her to tell her so and why I felt like that. I also did it to cover my arse and to protect myself from the consequences of what she was planning to do regarding an attempt to set me up by falsely accusing me of molesting her kid so it was all on my phone records as well as hers in case the old bill came knocking at my door over it. A pre emptive strike if you will. I got in first before the c*nt could do it to me.
Naturally T denied it all and said it proved I was paranoid and loony and that I'd just lost myself the one person I could trust with my very life. I then said pull the other one mate it's got f*cking bells on it. I told her I knew she was planning to destroy what's left of my life and to take her lies and bullshit elsewhere because I wasn't buying it anymore. I told her she was a fool to take me for a c*nt when she is the c*nt not me. I told her to piss off and to never darken my doorway again or else. I also told her to give a message to the nonces. Nice try try harder you evil f*ckers. And that was that and I ain't heard from her since.
But it means I can't go back to Spectrum and I can't go to local AA meetings now and I can't go back to my usual church because thanks to T my reputation and credibility is now in shreds in those places. I wanted to leave Spectrum anyway over the creepy shrink and the way they keep letting me down over the lack of continuity of care regarding key workers and the fact that they offered me a male worker last week when they know I can't work with a man for bloody obvious reasons. So I wrote them an email today explaining my position and telling them I was leaving and complained about the horrible shrink while I was at it. Naturally I never mentioned the nonce ring to that evil bastard when I saw him and I never mentioned it in the email either. Getting wise in my old age peeps. Lol. My parting shot as it were. Hope it gets the sick c*nt sacked.
And I'm not going to any more local AA meetings now since T has poisoned the well for me there with her lies so I will have to go further afield to continue my recovery but have free disabled bus pass will travel lol so that ain't a biggie really. And finally there were a couple of people at that church I really didn't like including the other spy who tried to cause trouble for me there before and she's still attending. So I've found another church in the opposite direction not too far from me. Only half an hour on the bus. And I will start afresh friends.
But I'll tell you this. I'm not mentioning the nonce ring stuff to anyone outside the four walls of my home now. Especially if someone asks me about it. And if they do I will tell them to mind their own f*cking business. Just goes to show there ain't nobody in real life I can trust with it especially where I live. I've stepped up my efforts to find a new home as soon as possible. I've also turned down the flat in the West Country. Because I told T about that and Spectrum and the local AAers. Because when I leave this area I don't want anyone knowing where I've gone. Because I know they will try to find me and ruin my life all over again if they do. Bastards.
Phew I've written a bloody novel there folks. If you got this far well done lol. Thanks for the vent space. Much appreciated :)
Cheers
Boudicca xx
