human007
Policy Enforcement
I never thought nightmares can affect my life, until the recent years of my life.
When i was kid, i always have interesting and strange dream. But they were never intense nightmare that would make me cry when i woke up. I used to have very interesting and strange dream that i can turned into a short story or novel. But these past few years, all i got is intense and strange nightmare mixed with repetition of my trauma.
A few days ago, or few weeks ago, i had a nightmare where i was in a family gathering with my dad's side of family. In real life, my dad's side of family are cruel abusive people, so does in my dream. The family gathering was set in a big restaurant, my pig cousin paid for everyone's meal. I was feeling really uncomfortable and anxious in the dream, and i thought the dream will turned into something worse, but then it turned into something really weird, the vision changed into a game i played in an app called Plato. The vision changed into a game called The Island. Basically this game is about the last man standing so you have to vote for someone to get killed until there is only one person left. Luckily the nightmare ended and i woke up in shock. I was grateful that the dream didn't go any further.
But then today, the same nightmare repeated, in a very intense ending.
I figured that this happened because i got triggered and anxious last night. I have a lot of aunties from my dad's family, all of them are abusive and love to torture me and humiliate me. But the worst one and the most obsessive are the one i named "Evil Auntie". She started obssessing with me since 2-3 years ago after i graduated from high school. I have a lot of free time at home and being at home a lot ever since i graduated high school and trying to apply to several best universities in my country. She sometimes came to my house and talked to me and she started growing a bond with me. I was just being nice to her but she claimed me as her favorite and she is obsessed with me. At first, she only came to my house twice or three times every month, but ever since she grew closer to me, she came to my house 5 times a week. She started obsessing with me in a bad way and controlling my life, she told me to do A, B, Z, X. She took me to places far from my house only to accompany her and be her robot. She forced me to attend many courses. She emotionally and physically abuse me, she loved to bully my appearance, she loved to find any little mistake i have. She loved to tell me what to do, deciding which person i'm allowed to talk, which friends i'm allowed to have, how i should act, how i should choose my dream. She forced me to go to many places out of town by train, and often she starved me during the trip. Even when i'm sick, she still forced me to go with her. I have been having several chronic illness since i was 12 years old but she never believe me and she kept forcing me to go to many far places with her. She took me to many alternative therapy (example: acupuncture, massage) in order to cure my illnesses (which is not actually her intention because she just want more power in myself that's why she took me to those places) and those places are always crowded and i have to wait in line for hours under the sun with no drink and no food. She did these on purpose to torture me. In the past she even took me to exorcism because she thought there's demon in my body.
My evil auntie often force me to wear what she approve, to always cover my body, to always wear certain clothing, to never wear make up, to never be nice to opposite gender. She want to control who i'm allowed to date, who i'm allowed to marry. She want to control what kind of work i should do after i graduated from university. She controlled my life more than any of my parent ever has. She loved to hurt my feeling with her cruel words, she loved to intimidating me, she loved to force me do house chores and force me to take care of my father despite my chronic illnesses. Because i took a gap year and ended up not getting applied in best universities in my country, she forced me to apply in a cheap bad quality university she wanted and she's willing to pay for it. But it's not because she care about me but it's because she wants to feel good about herself that she managed to pay for my tuition which are not much by the way. And also it's not from her own money, she damand money from many people. She thinks that she own me completely just because she paid for my cheap tuition and because she sometimes give me pocket money which is worth less than 5$. And she forced me to respect her completely and forced me to obey in whatever she told me to do or else she won't pay for my tuition anymore and scare me that i will be dropped out and nobody else is willing to pay for my tuition (financial abuse). She also always talk highly about herself, as if she is some kind of hero that helps starving children in africa. She is very arrogant and ignorant and selfish. She often forced me to help her and do hard work and forced me to translate tons of paper by my own hand. She forced me to get all A's and if she found i have B she will scold me and humiliate me and force me to get A for the next semester.
Her house is pretty far from my house but she is willing to drive to my house almost everyday just because she's obsessed with me and want to torture my life everyday. My parents neglected me and one is poor and the other one had stroke so they can't pay for my education. They let me be abused by my evil auntie even though i keep staring at their eyes when my evil auntie forcing me to do stuff or taking me to places hoping they'd help me or at least say something or defend me. But they don't. My father encourage my evil auntie to abusing me and be on her side and defending her. My mom care too little to help me. They just act like they are blind seeing me suffering everyday. Not only that i have to be my evil auntie's robot and go to places with her with train. I also have to take care of my abusive pervert father and accompany him to all places.
She also forbid every little thing i do. Because i have chronic migraines for years, she forbid me to drink cold water and making it into such a big deal. She forbid me to tell my friends that i have chronic illnesses because she doesn't want i get the privilige and attention i deserve. There are too many things that she forbid that i can't even remember.
I get really paranoid and scared whenever i hear vehicle's sound in front of my house because i'm scared it's my evil auntie. Often i had to pretend to sleep for hours so then i don't have to meet her.
My evil auntie also hired a private teacher to force me to become a teacher and do public speaking which i hate the most. A year and half ago i finally told her that i don't want to do any of the courses anymore because of my illnesses. At first she couldn't accepted my decision. So i messaged my private teacher and told him that i want to quit and i have many chronic illnesses, but of course he didn't believe me and underestimate my illnesses and he said i need to change my perspective on things. But my decision can't be changed. And then few days after we had a big fight because she forbid me to drink cold water, and then i talked back at her and told her i asked my doctor and i had proof of what the doctor said that cold water wouldn't do anything to me, and then my evil auntie screamed at me and told me that it's all lie and it's all because i'm too low that i want to follow my desire to drink cold water. And then all the cursing words came out from her mouth and she almost went physical again. I left the room and let her rambled to my father very loud so then i can hear her talking sh*t about me. I never apologize to her but she can't live without me so few days after she acted like nothing happened. And after that i don't have any courses anymore.
Then a month after, she found out about my whatsapp stories. I have whatsapp account and i often posted in the stories that lasted for 24 hours. I forgot to tap the "hide" option to hide my content from her. She found out that i love to take pictures (normal picture, just my face) and share it to public and that i sometimes share music video that include some nsfw stuff in them (not even that bad) and she took all the screenshot for the proof, then talked sh*t behind my back with one of my cousin that i called Pig Cousin. The two of them called me sl*t, wh*re, idiot, dumb and all the bad stuff in the whole whatsapp chat and turned out that they have been talking behind my back for a whole year calling me all the bad stuff and saying that i deserve to be r*pe and that i'm a sex addict.
My evil auntie and my pig cousin then came to my house wanting to confront me in front of my mom, and too bad for them i was sleeping, so then they told everything to my mom including the proof of it. And they also told my abusive older sister and maybe the whole big family i don't know. The next day my evil auntie came to my house and forced me to go with her to a restaurant and she confronted me and humiliate me in front of everyone and scolded me for hours saying that i look like a person that deserved to be r*pe and that i'm a sl*t, idiot, etc etc.
Ever since that, i changed my whole social media and number and tell my dad's side of family that my phone is broke and they can't contact me anymore especially on whatsapp and phone call. My evil auntie love to message me everyday and call me everyday for hours which makes me really tired and sick. But it seems that they are starting to get suspicious and they starting to realized that i'm making it all up.
Ever since that incident, covid came, and she didn't come to my house five times a week, she make it into 2-3 times a week. And then my father died (yeay!!) and she came to my house once a week or once every 2 weeks. Now that my grandmother died and covid has been really bad, she barely come to my house anymore which is good.
Sadly, last night i've been told by one of my brother that evil auntie told him that she wanted to check my grades for this semester and wanted to know about the college tuition for next semester, but she wanted me to share the information directly to her through my OWN whatsapp. That means that she knew i have a whatsapp and somebody told her something. So then i use my abusive little sister's phone to message my evil auntie and share the photos of my grades and college tuition info, as i scroll up through their messages, i found out that my abusive little sister snitching about my number and she shared my whatsapp number to my evil auntie.
Later, the evil auntie asked my little sister why I didn't message her directly from my own whatsapp, so i told my little sister "what are you talking about? my whatsapp is error". And my little sister bullying me and make me look stupid, she had the audacity to do that after sharing my number to my evil auntie.
So last night i was feeling really scared and anxious, i keep seing flashbacks of everything that evil auntie, my pig cousin and my dad's side of the family have been doing to me. I rather die that having to repeat all of that. All the torture and humiliation i had to endure. All the brainwashing they are trying to plant in my head. All the exhausting trip. All the controlling and taking me to crazy places. All the blaming for my father's death. All the curse words. I feel more and more unsafe. I already feel unsafe living with my 2nd brother and my oldest sister that have been actively trying to kill me, now i have more fear that evil auntie gonna hurt me again or control me again and trap me in her trap. I ended up falling asleep while having all of that in my mind.
The nightmare started when i just arrived in the restaurant where the family gathering happening. Somebody immediately said that evil auntie want to meet me and talk to me. I just know she is about to confront me, intimidating me, emotionally abusing me and scolding me for avoiding her. I feel really scared and anxious. I came to her table and in her table there are my other dad's side of family member, i can see pig cousin and some unknown people i never met before. Because i'm clumsy, i accidentally slip my cup and it's fall to the ground and it hurts one of unknown people who sit in the same table. He was bleeding and he stare at me blaming me. Everyone were in shock and immediately scolding me, blaming me and yelling at me. They all called ambulance and pig cousin yelling at me and screaming at me for hurting her family, she even have tears ran down her face. My dad (who already died) in real life also sat in the same table with us and made fun of me due to my clumsyness, so then i blown up, cried, and shaking and yelled at him "how can you say that? you often break a cup or plate and often make me bleed but nobody blaming you!! what what is it you're doing! why are you doing this to me? it's not like i did this on purpose! it was an accident! it wasn't my fault!"
Everyone were staring at me pointing at my dad, i looked around and i saw one of my cousin, let's say that her name was Zeze. Zeze was close to me at some point in our lives and i thought we were the closest cousin until i realized these past few years that she is nothing but a selfish person and she is just the same with the rest of my dad's side of family. So in the dream she was staring at me and laughing while covering her face. And i was shocked and said "even you..? zeze..? how can you do that..?" and she can't help to laugh more and pointing at my abusive oldest brother and said "i'm so sorry haha it just i can't help it, your oldest brother keep making fun of you". Zeze was trying so hard to cover her laugh with her hand. I stared at her with disbelieve and then i stared at my oldest brother who were giving me a mocking face. I felt more angry and sad. I felt humiliated. Everyone started to leave from the restaurant to go to the hospital to accompany that unknown person to hospital. Everyone stare at me with a disgusted face. While the restaurant started to be empty. The pig cousin talked to the owner and told the owner that they will be back in 6 hours as in there will be another event to make up for this one. The owner was begging to the pig cousin to not cancel anything. Everyone are blaming me. And the pig cousin of course giving me disgusting shameful look.
As the restaurant about to close (they will open again in 6 hours), i saw my bullies back in highschool, me and my bullies walked out from the restaurant and look around the mall (the restaurant was inside a mall). My bullies was wondering why i was being that way. And after i told eevrything, they underestimated it and said it's not a big deal, i have been trough similiar things, you're just exaggerating. So i cried more and i pointed at her and said "but.. But we we we are different person! my heart is not strong! i am very fragile! etc etc"
And thats all i can remember. I woke up with tears in my face. I was thinking "so that was dream?". It felt so real and painful. I reached tissues and wipe tears from my eyes. My eyes were very watery when i woke up. I'm afraid i was making sound as i sleep. When i woke up, people in my room were already awake and i'm scared they heard everything. Because they loved it when i cry or when i'm struggling. They would made fun of me and call me weak and sensitive.
I came back to sleep and i had another nightmare i couldn't remember. I keep waking up and go back to sleep.
When i was kid, i always have interesting and strange dream. But they were never intense nightmare that would make me cry when i woke up. I used to have very interesting and strange dream that i can turned into a short story or novel. But these past few years, all i got is intense and strange nightmare mixed with repetition of my trauma.
A few days ago, or few weeks ago, i had a nightmare where i was in a family gathering with my dad's side of family. In real life, my dad's side of family are cruel abusive people, so does in my dream. The family gathering was set in a big restaurant, my pig cousin paid for everyone's meal. I was feeling really uncomfortable and anxious in the dream, and i thought the dream will turned into something worse, but then it turned into something really weird, the vision changed into a game i played in an app called Plato. The vision changed into a game called The Island. Basically this game is about the last man standing so you have to vote for someone to get killed until there is only one person left. Luckily the nightmare ended and i woke up in shock. I was grateful that the dream didn't go any further.
But then today, the same nightmare repeated, in a very intense ending.
I figured that this happened because i got triggered and anxious last night. I have a lot of aunties from my dad's family, all of them are abusive and love to torture me and humiliate me. But the worst one and the most obsessive are the one i named "Evil Auntie". She started obssessing with me since 2-3 years ago after i graduated from high school. I have a lot of free time at home and being at home a lot ever since i graduated high school and trying to apply to several best universities in my country. She sometimes came to my house and talked to me and she started growing a bond with me. I was just being nice to her but she claimed me as her favorite and she is obsessed with me. At first, she only came to my house twice or three times every month, but ever since she grew closer to me, she came to my house 5 times a week. She started obsessing with me in a bad way and controlling my life, she told me to do A, B, Z, X. She took me to places far from my house only to accompany her and be her robot. She forced me to attend many courses. She emotionally and physically abuse me, she loved to bully my appearance, she loved to find any little mistake i have. She loved to tell me what to do, deciding which person i'm allowed to talk, which friends i'm allowed to have, how i should act, how i should choose my dream. She forced me to go to many places out of town by train, and often she starved me during the trip. Even when i'm sick, she still forced me to go with her. I have been having several chronic illness since i was 12 years old but she never believe me and she kept forcing me to go to many far places with her. She took me to many alternative therapy (example: acupuncture, massage) in order to cure my illnesses (which is not actually her intention because she just want more power in myself that's why she took me to those places) and those places are always crowded and i have to wait in line for hours under the sun with no drink and no food. She did these on purpose to torture me. In the past she even took me to exorcism because she thought there's demon in my body.
My evil auntie often force me to wear what she approve, to always cover my body, to always wear certain clothing, to never wear make up, to never be nice to opposite gender. She want to control who i'm allowed to date, who i'm allowed to marry. She want to control what kind of work i should do after i graduated from university. She controlled my life more than any of my parent ever has. She loved to hurt my feeling with her cruel words, she loved to intimidating me, she loved to force me do house chores and force me to take care of my father despite my chronic illnesses. Because i took a gap year and ended up not getting applied in best universities in my country, she forced me to apply in a cheap bad quality university she wanted and she's willing to pay for it. But it's not because she care about me but it's because she wants to feel good about herself that she managed to pay for my tuition which are not much by the way. And also it's not from her own money, she damand money from many people. She thinks that she own me completely just because she paid for my cheap tuition and because she sometimes give me pocket money which is worth less than 5$. And she forced me to respect her completely and forced me to obey in whatever she told me to do or else she won't pay for my tuition anymore and scare me that i will be dropped out and nobody else is willing to pay for my tuition (financial abuse). She also always talk highly about herself, as if she is some kind of hero that helps starving children in africa. She is very arrogant and ignorant and selfish. She often forced me to help her and do hard work and forced me to translate tons of paper by my own hand. She forced me to get all A's and if she found i have B she will scold me and humiliate me and force me to get A for the next semester.
Her house is pretty far from my house but she is willing to drive to my house almost everyday just because she's obsessed with me and want to torture my life everyday. My parents neglected me and one is poor and the other one had stroke so they can't pay for my education. They let me be abused by my evil auntie even though i keep staring at their eyes when my evil auntie forcing me to do stuff or taking me to places hoping they'd help me or at least say something or defend me. But they don't. My father encourage my evil auntie to abusing me and be on her side and defending her. My mom care too little to help me. They just act like they are blind seeing me suffering everyday. Not only that i have to be my evil auntie's robot and go to places with her with train. I also have to take care of my abusive pervert father and accompany him to all places.
She also forbid every little thing i do. Because i have chronic migraines for years, she forbid me to drink cold water and making it into such a big deal. She forbid me to tell my friends that i have chronic illnesses because she doesn't want i get the privilige and attention i deserve. There are too many things that she forbid that i can't even remember.
I get really paranoid and scared whenever i hear vehicle's sound in front of my house because i'm scared it's my evil auntie. Often i had to pretend to sleep for hours so then i don't have to meet her.
My evil auntie also hired a private teacher to force me to become a teacher and do public speaking which i hate the most. A year and half ago i finally told her that i don't want to do any of the courses anymore because of my illnesses. At first she couldn't accepted my decision. So i messaged my private teacher and told him that i want to quit and i have many chronic illnesses, but of course he didn't believe me and underestimate my illnesses and he said i need to change my perspective on things. But my decision can't be changed. And then few days after we had a big fight because she forbid me to drink cold water, and then i talked back at her and told her i asked my doctor and i had proof of what the doctor said that cold water wouldn't do anything to me, and then my evil auntie screamed at me and told me that it's all lie and it's all because i'm too low that i want to follow my desire to drink cold water. And then all the cursing words came out from her mouth and she almost went physical again. I left the room and let her rambled to my father very loud so then i can hear her talking sh*t about me. I never apologize to her but she can't live without me so few days after she acted like nothing happened. And after that i don't have any courses anymore.
Then a month after, she found out about my whatsapp stories. I have whatsapp account and i often posted in the stories that lasted for 24 hours. I forgot to tap the "hide" option to hide my content from her. She found out that i love to take pictures (normal picture, just my face) and share it to public and that i sometimes share music video that include some nsfw stuff in them (not even that bad) and she took all the screenshot for the proof, then talked sh*t behind my back with one of my cousin that i called Pig Cousin. The two of them called me sl*t, wh*re, idiot, dumb and all the bad stuff in the whole whatsapp chat and turned out that they have been talking behind my back for a whole year calling me all the bad stuff and saying that i deserve to be r*pe and that i'm a sex addict.
My evil auntie and my pig cousin then came to my house wanting to confront me in front of my mom, and too bad for them i was sleeping, so then they told everything to my mom including the proof of it. And they also told my abusive older sister and maybe the whole big family i don't know. The next day my evil auntie came to my house and forced me to go with her to a restaurant and she confronted me and humiliate me in front of everyone and scolded me for hours saying that i look like a person that deserved to be r*pe and that i'm a sl*t, idiot, etc etc.
Ever since that, i changed my whole social media and number and tell my dad's side of family that my phone is broke and they can't contact me anymore especially on whatsapp and phone call. My evil auntie love to message me everyday and call me everyday for hours which makes me really tired and sick. But it seems that they are starting to get suspicious and they starting to realized that i'm making it all up.
Ever since that incident, covid came, and she didn't come to my house five times a week, she make it into 2-3 times a week. And then my father died (yeay!!) and she came to my house once a week or once every 2 weeks. Now that my grandmother died and covid has been really bad, she barely come to my house anymore which is good.
Sadly, last night i've been told by one of my brother that evil auntie told him that she wanted to check my grades for this semester and wanted to know about the college tuition for next semester, but she wanted me to share the information directly to her through my OWN whatsapp. That means that she knew i have a whatsapp and somebody told her something. So then i use my abusive little sister's phone to message my evil auntie and share the photos of my grades and college tuition info, as i scroll up through their messages, i found out that my abusive little sister snitching about my number and she shared my whatsapp number to my evil auntie.
Later, the evil auntie asked my little sister why I didn't message her directly from my own whatsapp, so i told my little sister "what are you talking about? my whatsapp is error". And my little sister bullying me and make me look stupid, she had the audacity to do that after sharing my number to my evil auntie.
So last night i was feeling really scared and anxious, i keep seing flashbacks of everything that evil auntie, my pig cousin and my dad's side of the family have been doing to me. I rather die that having to repeat all of that. All the torture and humiliation i had to endure. All the brainwashing they are trying to plant in my head. All the exhausting trip. All the controlling and taking me to crazy places. All the blaming for my father's death. All the curse words. I feel more and more unsafe. I already feel unsafe living with my 2nd brother and my oldest sister that have been actively trying to kill me, now i have more fear that evil auntie gonna hurt me again or control me again and trap me in her trap. I ended up falling asleep while having all of that in my mind.
The nightmare started when i just arrived in the restaurant where the family gathering happening. Somebody immediately said that evil auntie want to meet me and talk to me. I just know she is about to confront me, intimidating me, emotionally abusing me and scolding me for avoiding her. I feel really scared and anxious. I came to her table and in her table there are my other dad's side of family member, i can see pig cousin and some unknown people i never met before. Because i'm clumsy, i accidentally slip my cup and it's fall to the ground and it hurts one of unknown people who sit in the same table. He was bleeding and he stare at me blaming me. Everyone were in shock and immediately scolding me, blaming me and yelling at me. They all called ambulance and pig cousin yelling at me and screaming at me for hurting her family, she even have tears ran down her face. My dad (who already died) in real life also sat in the same table with us and made fun of me due to my clumsyness, so then i blown up, cried, and shaking and yelled at him "how can you say that? you often break a cup or plate and often make me bleed but nobody blaming you!! what what is it you're doing! why are you doing this to me? it's not like i did this on purpose! it was an accident! it wasn't my fault!"
Everyone were staring at me pointing at my dad, i looked around and i saw one of my cousin, let's say that her name was Zeze. Zeze was close to me at some point in our lives and i thought we were the closest cousin until i realized these past few years that she is nothing but a selfish person and she is just the same with the rest of my dad's side of family. So in the dream she was staring at me and laughing while covering her face. And i was shocked and said "even you..? zeze..? how can you do that..?" and she can't help to laugh more and pointing at my abusive oldest brother and said "i'm so sorry haha it just i can't help it, your oldest brother keep making fun of you". Zeze was trying so hard to cover her laugh with her hand. I stared at her with disbelieve and then i stared at my oldest brother who were giving me a mocking face. I felt more angry and sad. I felt humiliated. Everyone started to leave from the restaurant to go to the hospital to accompany that unknown person to hospital. Everyone stare at me with a disgusted face. While the restaurant started to be empty. The pig cousin talked to the owner and told the owner that they will be back in 6 hours as in there will be another event to make up for this one. The owner was begging to the pig cousin to not cancel anything. Everyone are blaming me. And the pig cousin of course giving me disgusting shameful look.
As the restaurant about to close (they will open again in 6 hours), i saw my bullies back in highschool, me and my bullies walked out from the restaurant and look around the mall (the restaurant was inside a mall). My bullies was wondering why i was being that way. And after i told eevrything, they underestimated it and said it's not a big deal, i have been trough similiar things, you're just exaggerating. So i cried more and i pointed at her and said "but.. But we we we are different person! my heart is not strong! i am very fragile! etc etc"
And thats all i can remember. I woke up with tears in my face. I was thinking "so that was dream?". It felt so real and painful. I reached tissues and wipe tears from my eyes. My eyes were very watery when i woke up. I'm afraid i was making sound as i sleep. When i woke up, people in my room were already awake and i'm scared they heard everything. Because they loved it when i cry or when i'm struggling. They would made fun of me and call me weak and sensitive.
I came back to sleep and i had another nightmare i couldn't remember. I keep waking up and go back to sleep.