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My Personal Meeting With Doobie

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anthony

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I caught up with doobie here the other day for a coffee and chat, and let me just say it was excellent to meet another from here in person. It was a reflection of my own work in which doobie could see for herself, me in person, walking talking proof that PTSD can be healed for the majority, a fairly normal life can be lived even for the worst cases around, as I was diagnosed one of those cases.

For those who have already decided they can't be healed, that life will never get better, you may as well not be here, that is for certain. To heal is to want something more than anything you have ever wanted in your life... doobie has now seen that for herself from a few hour discussion with me personally. It can be done, you just have to really want it and work hard at it. You have to be open and expose your vunerabilities, you have to let yourself be a little more free and expressive, try new things that you have never tried before, and never make judgement until you have really given something your 110% first, then look for alternatives.

For those that doubt I a life beyond PTSD exists, this is your wakeup call to tell you it does, and there is another here who has met me recently in person. For those who reside in Melbourne, please don't hesitate to contact me, as I'm sure we can setup a time and place for a coffee and chat over a few hours, get into the real details of what is bothering you at present, and look at a few things to get you into the commonsense, reality approach to healing yourself.

There is one way through PTSD, and one way only, head on. If you think it can be dealt with by using caution, care and concern for the majority of the process, you need to adapt your thinking now, because it doesn't work. Show me anyone who has healed to the most level with nothing but care, concern and compassion along the way. That is what therapists try and use, all of which fails. You must be tough on yourself, because nobody else can fix you, only you can fix yourself.

This is just one of those food for thought posts, a little motivation if you like, that this can be beaten to the point of a normal life in most circumstances, and even beyond depending on the level of trauma suffered.

I look forward to meeting others in person.... a little personal motivation is a good key to help people along with this process. Gaining good friendship during the process is just the best of it all though.
 
To heal is to want something more than anything you have ever wanted in your life... It can be done, you just have to really want it and work hard at it. You have to be open and expose your vunerabilities, you have to let yourself be a little more free and expressive, try new things that you have never tried before, and never make judgement until you have really given something your 110% first, then look for alternatives.

Six months ago I would have said you were full of it for saying this. I felt like I couldn't find my ass with both hands and a map-I was that twisted around in my life. But I took your advice and the advice of others (and I'm lucky to have a therapist who doesn't hold my hand, but gets in my face *sometimes literally* and tells me the truth) and I've worked my butt off. A lot of it's here, a lot of it's not. But I've stayed focused on the goal of healing and finding my balance and and 'me' again. I've gotten a whole lot more than I bargained for from when I started. I've felt like I was healing, I've had people here tell me that, but last night my husband (without prompting) said to me, 'You're healing'. Sweeter words I don't think I've ever heard.

Guess what Anthony...I don't think you're full of it anymore!
 
Thanks for sharing this Anthony. I hope to meet you someday too!

I agree with you Marlene. I've discovered from being here and doing work upon myself, that attitude and desire count for an awful lot. Like you I'm lucky... I don't have a therapist right now but my family is very truthful and blunt with me, accepts no self-pity, etc, and that has really helped me progress. A year ago or even 6 months ago I never would have thought I could get this far. I still have a tremendous amount of work to accomplish, but as I've seen some progress at least now I have hope and I'm trying to hang on to that.
 
And that is a good thing Marlene, because now you have done it for yourself, and now you can pass your knowledge to another if you desire, which means what you do now helps others with the same thing you once suffered and thought there was no remedy, no method, no direction to turn. Now your another that knows what I know Marlene.... you know what I figured out for myself. Passing this information is the best thing IMHO... because we all continue to help lots of others. All the information is here, its just for people to want to read it, apply it within their lives, then poke around their unique circumstances a little to fine tune the indifferences between all our trauma's. Well done to all those who have benefitted from simply taking what I found, applying it to themselves and working their backside off in order to find what I found. Over the years it just continues to grow, continues to get better and better. Always lots to look forward to past the basics of healing.
 
You already have Lorry, just by being here around the very people who can help you most, and now you want to truly help yourself being the more important of all aspects.
 
Thank you for sharing this. It is inspiring to know, healing can come to those who want it bad enough. I am so glad my husband connected me with this forum. I am learning so much. I've had ups and downs, but that is the way it goes. Its never easy or its not called healing. It is so nice to hear the confidence conveyed in your post Anthony. Its inspiring! I too hope that my husband and I can meet you in person some day.
 
Hi Anthony,
I just wrote to Nugget. I'll probably write the same thing to you if that's ok.
I'll be in Sydney in October- if there's any chance to discuss this over the phone or in person.
My boyfriend has ptsd and survived something horrendous 6 years ago. He had numbed it all out with drugs, then pot. And then left his country to get away from it i guess. Anyway- he started up therapy in may because apathy was creeping into our relationship. all of his demons are pouring out of him. panic attacks, vomitting, body rashes.He's going through hell and thinks he' going crazy. He has shut down emotionally.
I guess I want to know- how do partners deal with this?
Did you have similar experience?
I just don't want to lose him and
I really don't know what to do to help him. i dont want to leave him. Do you know of anything I can do , or do you know of any websites, contacts, anything I can do to help him. I really dont want to lose him through this process. I know the therapy is working (EMDR etc)
And I just want him to have some peace.
Jodie
 
Jodie, the only medicine is from him, being he must help himself. If he continues to help himself then he will get better and the relationship will survive. If not, or if he's not, if he doesn't want to help himself, ie. sitting in self sympathy still, then nothing he does will change much, only scratch away at the surface.

If he wants change, then make him really work hard at it, reward him for his efforts, then push him more to help himself, then backoff and see how he continues.
 
Thank you Anthony.I'm feeling more able to support him at the moment. Just trying to balance the pushing and the backing off part. I have ordered some of those books you suggested. If you have/find any more resources, I'd love to keep educating myself so I can be helpful.
Sincerely,
Jodie
 
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