I haven't been on here in some time now. But life has had the ups and downs twists and free falls. The internet was the enemy for some months, I couldn't read informative articles, or respond to email without major depression, anxiety and panic attacks, overwhelming misanthropy and suicidal ideation, rejection from receiving disability support because I function to well, look like it anyway.
I have been working on a rather large art project involving, at the present time, 19 artists hoping to achieve my number of 50 collaborations then pass the art onto literary artists for further collaboration. The final product will be an oversized coffee table type book and gallery showings. The reception has been overwhelmingly positive I am even applying for an artists grant/ award to help me complete the task.
I have working on a non-profit art program that will benefit those of all socioeconomic status. Most the programs in my area are not free and focus on individuals with disposable income. Again I have talked with numerous experts, educators, principles, professors, psychologists, anyone with information to give me more insight and allow me to get closer to achieving my goal. I have a lot of grants to apply for to allow the program I am trying to start, have a major step up to achieve success.
I was also accepted to into an art magazine, where I have to talk about myself in a positive light.
All of this has taken place in less than 10 days, my medication isn't working because I couldn't afford to purchase my methylfolate because my body doesn't produce folic acid in the 3rd stage so unless I have it my medication only works at about 10 to 15% efficiency.
this feels like a boast, I don't mean for it to be. I am completely overwhelmed, my knock out sleeping pill isn't really working, my nightmares have completely taken over my sleep cycle. There is a lot of potential for me to achieve this non-profit program and do some art on the side. But I feel like my cPTSD is going to ruin it all for me. I'm just going to shut down, or be committed for inability to function then all my dreams of giving the youth of my area who suffer from mental or behavioral health issues and those who do not just need a form of expression will be shoved into a small padded room with no windows.
I guess, I just need to vent. I want to be capable but I haven't been able to function well after my job for at least a week. I have typed into search engines a fair amount I am f*cking crazy, why can I be normal? too many times. I'm just mentally and physically exhausted.
Thank you and I am sorry if this reads boastful again I don't mean for it to be.
-Arvin.jrjr
I have been working on a rather large art project involving, at the present time, 19 artists hoping to achieve my number of 50 collaborations then pass the art onto literary artists for further collaboration. The final product will be an oversized coffee table type book and gallery showings. The reception has been overwhelmingly positive I am even applying for an artists grant/ award to help me complete the task.
I have working on a non-profit art program that will benefit those of all socioeconomic status. Most the programs in my area are not free and focus on individuals with disposable income. Again I have talked with numerous experts, educators, principles, professors, psychologists, anyone with information to give me more insight and allow me to get closer to achieving my goal. I have a lot of grants to apply for to allow the program I am trying to start, have a major step up to achieve success.
I was also accepted to into an art magazine, where I have to talk about myself in a positive light.
All of this has taken place in less than 10 days, my medication isn't working because I couldn't afford to purchase my methylfolate because my body doesn't produce folic acid in the 3rd stage so unless I have it my medication only works at about 10 to 15% efficiency.
this feels like a boast, I don't mean for it to be. I am completely overwhelmed, my knock out sleeping pill isn't really working, my nightmares have completely taken over my sleep cycle. There is a lot of potential for me to achieve this non-profit program and do some art on the side. But I feel like my cPTSD is going to ruin it all for me. I'm just going to shut down, or be committed for inability to function then all my dreams of giving the youth of my area who suffer from mental or behavioral health issues and those who do not just need a form of expression will be shoved into a small padded room with no windows.
I guess, I just need to vent. I want to be capable but I haven't been able to function well after my job for at least a week. I have typed into search engines a fair amount I am f*cking crazy, why can I be normal? too many times. I'm just mentally and physically exhausted.
Thank you and I am sorry if this reads boastful again I don't mean for it to be.
-Arvin.jrjr