Lately, it's been rough. Him and I argue over the smallest of things and even when I step back and politely ask why we are arguing over such petty things, it continues to happen. He has ADHD and BPD. The professional help I have spoke with all say the same thing. "How are you two together? Those disorders mixed are impossible " I used to feel confident about us, now four months into our marriage, we are lucky to have a good day without hiccups.
He knows my triggers and still pushes my buttons. He really likes to be alone and I admit I can be needy. He keeps telling me I "fall prey to falllicies" and "how annoying it is." I try to control my temper and I have stopped name calling when heated, but he hasn't. I don't know if he doesn't know how to handle me, or his mental issues playing a part as well.
For example, this happened just a few hours ago, he left his keys in the car so he could charge his portable battery and when I got out of the car, I turned the car off and came inside the lobby where he works. He got upset with me because I turned the car off. My reply was "if I left the car on and unlocked, it's not safe." Then he went on saying something along the lines of "if I wanted you to turn off the car and lockit, I would have said so" and proceeded to ignore me for an hour.
All is well now, but it's little things like this that set him off and even though he's over it quickly, I'm not. I worry and remain upset.
Anyone else have similar issues? What's the best way to work on it?
He knows my triggers and still pushes my buttons. He really likes to be alone and I admit I can be needy. He keeps telling me I "fall prey to falllicies" and "how annoying it is." I try to control my temper and I have stopped name calling when heated, but he hasn't. I don't know if he doesn't know how to handle me, or his mental issues playing a part as well.
For example, this happened just a few hours ago, he left his keys in the car so he could charge his portable battery and when I got out of the car, I turned the car off and came inside the lobby where he works. He got upset with me because I turned the car off. My reply was "if I left the car on and unlocked, it's not safe." Then he went on saying something along the lines of "if I wanted you to turn off the car and lockit, I would have said so" and proceeded to ignore me for an hour.
All is well now, but it's little things like this that set him off and even though he's over it quickly, I'm not. I worry and remain upset.
Anyone else have similar issues? What's the best way to work on it?
