My relationship has ended and I feel like I'm falling apart

I have CPTSD from several different traumatic experiences. I posted in this forum a while ago about a relationship I was in where there were quite severe incidents of sexual and physical assault. For reference if anyone wants it Previous post

Well after that his behaviour changed so dramatically. He got serious with me. He became so caring and loving and patient. He treated me well and was so understanding. I know if you've seen the other post, I probably sound delusional but things got so different and I let myself fall for him that much more. Then recently he felt like he was getting distant and last night he broke up with me. I've always been someone who feels things deeply. When I open up to someone and allow myself to feel those feelings, I do so wholly even if they might not deserve it. Now I feel like my world is falling apart. I feel so low. Lower than I have in a really long time. I feel like I'm falling apart. I think I might have been trauma bonded to him because I've never felt so utterly destroyed by a break up before. I feel like I'm going to have a mental breakdown. It feels like I can't breath and I know anyone who knows some of what he did will tell me that it's a good thing and I'm so much better of but I can't see through it and I don't want to be without him. I know there was bad but I just keep thinking about the good. The many amazing times we have, the times I woke up from nightmares with a panic attack and he just held me and got me to breath again. All of the promises and hopes of the future he gave me. I feel so naïve and like I'm being dramatic but I just feel so destroyed


Hi @Earlyrecoverer32 - I don't think I welcomed you; so glad you found us.

I feel so naïve and like I'm being dramatic but I just feel so destroyed
I'm sorry you are struggling with this. I don't think I can be any help--this is pretty much how I feel whenever I am broken up with someone. When there are even just a few good times, it's hard to see the other stuff.

I am thinking your reaction is normal, given the trauma history. In any case, I hope you find the support you need here. How are you taking care of you during this time?