My Son Was Almost Killed

[seedling]

Hi, I was diagnosed with PTSD in May of this year. Our 12-year-old son suffered a life threatening gun shot wound in Dec 2009 through the negligence of another child. I was afraid he was going to die in front of my eyes.

He was life-flighted to a trauma center 100 miles away. I went with him on the helicopter and stayed with him the week he spent in the hospital. He had open abdominal surgery and was very lucky.

This has been an ordeal for our whole family and now we are suffering the long term ramifications of my PTSD.

I have been fortunate to find a good psychologist who is very experienced in PTSD - he has treated Vietnam vets for many years. He knows what it's like. I also have a good psychiatrist.

I have been reading on the forum for about two months now and it's been a lifeline for me, a relief. I have very supportive family and friends but I also tend to hold everything inside and have a hard time explaining how I feel. I try to kid myself that I'm acting like I used to.

Thanks to everyone here,
seedling

 

[cherryblossom]

Hello seedling, welcome to the forum. You are in the right place to gain knowledge and support about PTSD, which will aid both yourself and your family after a terrible ordeal. Welcome.

 

[anni]

Hi Seedling,

It does feel like a crashing sort of relief to find the forum, doesn't it? I remember getting up the nerve to post for the first time and actually crying with relief over replies. :)

You've been through a LOT- how dreadful for you and your family. I hadn't spoken of it but 2 weeks ago my 30 year old son was mugged at gunpoint-received the news while in the family van headed off for vacation(still processing). I can't imagine the worse, worse scenario you and your family went through. I think an awful lot of 'us' kidded ourselves, too, before just knowing this PTSD thing had to be addressed.

It was so good to read your son seems in recovery! I hope through being here you will find some peace also. I'm just replying with WAY too long a post for 'welcome' because remember the same relief. Wecolme- which is probably what I should have just said in the first place. :)

Anni

 

[Deleted member 1859]

Thank goodness your son recovered. I dont see how anyone can be the same after and experience like that, but you will get through it.

 

[seedling]

Thanks for the welcome, I'm glad to be here (at last).....

Anni, thanks for sharing.

 

[h2o]

Hi Seedling,
Welcome to the forum and sorry you went through such a horrible ordeal. As a mother myself, I can only imagine the horror you must have went through. Wishing you all the best in your treatment and recovery. It certainly helps to have a good support system in place.

 

[seedling]

My son has made a good recovery. He wasn't allowed to do much for the first six weeks and it took three months for him to gain the lost weight back. He still has the bullet in him as it is lodged in muscle and will not cause a problem, more damaging to try to take it out than to just leave it there. He suffered some depression this spring and is just now really getting his happiness back. We are still dealing with the issues surrounding the boy that did it.

I am not on medication right now, although I took a prescription for Xanax and have used it once (and considered using it many times). I hate the way it makes me not remember.

I don't have to go to a regular job as I am a stay-at-home mom/homemaker (however you want to say it :) ). I can pace my work and chores and put stuff off. I'm getting the basics done and the kids help me a lot.

We live in a rural area and being able to walk outdoors anytime is a great help, it calms me down.

I work at sleeping enough. Nightmares, early waking.

My new job :)....................

 

[anni]

Thanks for speaking of how he is. It was something I wondered about, in the usual 'mom ' way but didn't like to ask. I'm sorry he's struggling with depression-oh MY what a lot for a 12 year to have to work through. I had the same hazy-memory thing with Xanax, although used it anyway for quite a bit. More power to you!

We live in the woods also- I never understood what all that 'tree-hugging' was all about until needed it-seemed unhygienic! :) It IS better than Xanax, sometimes, and we have a creek, too-watching the water over the rocks does something also for peace of mind. Wish they could put that in a pill for others.

I suppose one never stops with being a Mom. The same son who was mugged a few weeks ago was then convinced to take time off and come stay for a week in our cabin in Maine. He's a big, tough kind of guy. He had a big wipe-out on some rocks- WHAM. Being a guy-got up and was 'fine'. Tell that to the adrenaline. I did not react(outwardly), of course, but was annoyed terribly by how quickly these 'little' events got the stupid nervous system back into overdrive for some days. It's a process. You do sound as if you're dealing awfully well-especially given the no sleep. Do hate that!

I do hate to introduce personal and not huge events in your thread. It was merely the Mom impulse, and not attempting to compare something as shattering as a young child being tragically injured to anything in my life, and the PTSD responses. :) It's nice you're here, which is another reason your post caught my interest. The relief IS 'something' in all this exhausting aftermath amd remember it very well.

 

[seedling]

anni,

no need to apologize, it's good to hear from you and I can relate to your story. Nice to hear about your son.

I think part of my problem is that I seem to be "dealing awfully well" (nothing personal on you :) ). I can appear to be really functional even when I feel like crap. Makes it harder for me to let people know what I need and not just hide it and think "why bother anyone with it".

Have a feeling I'm going to be working on that one in therapy!

 

[just me here]

Please pass my congratulations onto your son for me....he got through this with a life to live, and what could be more worthy of celebration than that? And you, mom, get what other mothers in similar situations can only long for with all their heart....a son to hug and kiss and clean up after and force to clean his room and take out the trash and wash the car. You must realise how phenomenally lucky you are, so I will be so bold to congratulate you myself. Congratulations, sincerely, celebrate the survival.

 

[just me here]

I wanted to add to my post, please understand that I am in no way downplaying what must be a heart wrenching and terribly painful experience. I worked as a volunteer firefighter for quite awhile and I have passed on the same advice to victims of accidents many times with good initial results at the accident scene. But those were all face to face conversations where I could see the victim and rate their ability to receive advice like that and they could see my sincerity in offering it up. If I was out of line puting an overly positive spin on what I am sure was and is a very negative situation, I apologize. But I hope you can take my sentiments in the spirit they were offered and accept them knowing I am not being glib or downplaying your feelings of depression or you for having them.

 

[anni]

Ha! :) Nothing personal taken! Just thought I'd add that Moms DO tend to be doing 'awfully well' because that's what we do. Someone has to chase the dog out of the garbage can and ferrett that forgotten celery stalk out of the back of the vegetable drawer while finding the 6 unmatched socks and holding the flashlight while the husband changes that fuse in the truck. Usually at the same time. It's tougher when one's head isn't cooperating, I know.