So, I'm seeing a speech therapist... It's been an incredible journey... She's really good at spotting and working with my issues...
And it touches on so many things... so many levels...
We've not explicitly spoken about PTSD and childhood trauma yet, but a lot of what she says makes me think "Ah, yup, that'll be the PTSD..."
Last session, she told me that I breathe wrong... back to front.
I've always known that I breathe terribly cos of PTSD... Diaphragm all tensed up, prepared for the next blow to the solar plexus.
Shallow chest breathing, instead of belly breathing.
Fight-flight breathing.
Sigh...
So, apparently, my diaphragm is so tense (chronically) that I do chest and shoulder breathing and have to actively "suck in" air when I breathe in and then relax, when I breathe out.
Which is the opposite of how you're supposed to breathe.
Your diaphragm is meant to be relaxed.
When you relax, air streams into you, effortlessly.
And when you breathe out, the muscles of your diaphragm push the air out.
I've been practising, but f*** knows how to reverse 40 years of breathing back to front. Sigh...
And it touches on so many things... so many levels...
We've not explicitly spoken about PTSD and childhood trauma yet, but a lot of what she says makes me think "Ah, yup, that'll be the PTSD..."
Last session, she told me that I breathe wrong... back to front.
I've always known that I breathe terribly cos of PTSD... Diaphragm all tensed up, prepared for the next blow to the solar plexus.
Shallow chest breathing, instead of belly breathing.
Fight-flight breathing.
Sigh...
So, apparently, my diaphragm is so tense (chronically) that I do chest and shoulder breathing and have to actively "suck in" air when I breathe in and then relax, when I breathe out.
Which is the opposite of how you're supposed to breathe.
Your diaphragm is meant to be relaxed.
When you relax, air streams into you, effortlessly.
And when you breathe out, the muscles of your diaphragm push the air out.
I've been practising, but f*** knows how to reverse 40 years of breathing back to front. Sigh...