My story

[Cosmicpooh]

I am going to try this out to sort thru my life.
I've been on auto pilot since I was like 10. And now the universe says I can't do it any longer. It's time to unpack all of the shit and heal.
I owe it to myself...my kids...and my partner.
I started a Peer Specialist course...while I have gone to counseling and stuff before, this class is really bringing up alot I haven't dealt with.
Ty to anyone who read and comments in advance.
)0(

 

[Cosmicpooh]

My early memories of my life were good. I remember hanging out with my Mom allday and playing with my cousins. Until I was 5 and my Dad quit a good job and Mom to a second shift mill job. And Dad became a stay home parent.
We lived out in the woods and next door to my Aunt and Uncle. My grandparents lived within walking distance.
Life was good.
Until I was around 10. I realize now my father slowly started sexualizing me. He would accuse me of letting the boy up the road do stuff. I had no clue what he meant .
He tickle me and touch my breast and between my.legs. I didn't really know what he was doing.
This went on a few years. Until oneday at age 13 he made me lay down and he molested me . I remember feeling like I was watching it happen to someone else. I was numb. He said all the boys would want to do this to me.
The next day I went to school and came home ad he didn't talk to me for weeks. I was sure I'd done something wrong. My Mom came to me a few days later and said he told her what he did and that I should forget it,men do this sort of thing and u don't talk about it. And she switched to day shift to be home when I was.
This I see now set up my whole life.
She always protected him first...me second.