My therapist won't give me an appointment. Lacks consistency

[somerandomguy]

Sometimes therapists test boundaries and see if you will speak up and speak your needs directly. They also will test how you handle uncertainty, etc.

Any therapist who does this is being unethical and should be dropped like a hot rock. Cruelty is not part of any treatment protocol.

 

[Amiga]

Any therapist who does this is being unethical and should be dropped like a hot rock. Cruelty is not part of any treatment protocol.

I agree. But they do it to test for certain disorders. I have been severely abused by some therapists. Mocked and gaslighted and encouraged to spend time with 2 abusers...even the man who SA'd me. I was made fool of. I have severe PTSD. They caused so much trauma. Violation everywhere. When I ask for anything they just read back something from the last sessions case note. I've been discharged because of severe allergic reaction...told go to ER I'm discharging you. The first thing an ER doc would ask is did you speak to the prescriber. I've been made a fool of .I hear you when you say unethical. I can't digest anything anymore on account of stress. My body flooded with constant trigger for four years. Made a freaking fool of for telling the truth about domestic violence.

 

[anon.cry]

Unprofessional is unprofessional. I caught my first therapist in a lie. My second therapist threatened to drop my case when there was (another; there's been many) death in the family, lunged at my mother like we were on the Jerry Springer show and like she wanted to physically fight my mother, cancelled an appointment due to an alleged death in her family, and I later learned that she is a part of a team that is hired solely on her physical characteristics. The third therapist told me my only problem was that I talked too much; at that point I had socially isolated so much that the only person I could omit from my life was her, so I never returned.

Don't tolerate abuse. Take a break, try a therapist in a new city or by videoconference. But don't tolerate abuse.

 

[Amiga]

Unprofessional is unprofessional. I caught my first therapist in a lie. My second therapist threatened to drop my case when there was (another; there's been many) death in the family, lunged at my mother like we were on the Jerry Springer show and like she wanted to physically fight my mother, cancelled an appointment due to an alleged death in her family, and I later learned that she is a part of a team that is hired solely on her physical characteristics. The third therapist told me my only problem was that I talked too much; at that point I had socially isolated so much that the only person I could omit from my life was her, so I never returned.

Don't tolerate abuse. Take a break, try a therapist in a new city or by videoconference. But don't tolerate abuse.

I agree with your last paragraph. I have been so abused by therapists it is incomprehensible. Taunted even. I think COVID changed authenticity into quacks. I hate saying it like that but by nature of the profession therapist are caring and concerned. Mental health pros need to have a lot of understanding and compassion. Icicles. I got icicles.Take the money and run types.

Just remember therapist aren't friends or normal relationship settings. But you deserve to feel comfortable when working through horror fully knowing the relationship with the therapist will end. Perhaps the therapist doesn't have experience with what you seek. I ended up with some who said they did but didn't have in depth because of that they put me in the bucket of what they are used to...and I didn't fit in my thinking even though they told me I did. Find someone with experience with your exact need.

 

[enough]

I have come to think of therapists as guides. You hire them because they know the way. If it feels like you are wandering or going off the map or even hopelessly lost, your guide has failed you. Get a better one. Hire another.

 

[sunlight7]

You are 100% not over reacting. Your feelings are definitely validated no question. I’ve been to a few therapist throughout my life for different things when I was younger, it was more for my dyslexia and ADHD and coping with that in a workplace. Now I go specifically for my PTSD but it’s not limited to that. We’ve talked about my ADHD before and my dyslexia. But yeah, I would definitely start searching for someone different. how the therapist can claim that’s a sessions can be done by emailing back-and-forth is not a therapy session! On top of that you want to go in person or at least that’s what I took. I mean an email isn’t even comparable to a telephone call. I feel aggravated for you. I’m just imagining myself if I had a doctor doing that. I will say when I was reading your post my mouth was open the whole time because I was so shocked by the unprofessionalism of this therapist.

Since being diagnosed with PTSD, I’ve seen two therapists the first one I went to for a while, but she didn’t specialize in PTSD and I felt like that’s something I needed and basically I just slowly went less and less and then I stopped, and it took me almost a year to go to my new one not because I was against it but I was on a waiting list for one doctor for so long and I just gave up on them I still haven’t heard back. lol. But I’m not waiting on them because I have a great therapist now that I found online myself. I definitely recommend someone else (sorry I keep repeating that), but you have to kind of do trial and error with therapist sometimes I think because some click with better than others and I have a hard time opening up especially in therapy so I have to have that click and also like this situation this is a trial and error. I’m able to book sessions in advance with my current therapist. I have three months scheduled right now on my calendar for weekly appointments.

You definitely deserve help and a good therapist ….a lot do care, and this is just based off my personal experience. But I can speak for my mom who goes to therapy related to her Chronic illness. And she says the same thing that I do.

I’m sorry you had to deal with this unprofessional therapist. Again, you do deserve to go to therapy and get help and to talk to a good therapist. I hope you continue to pursue therapy and that you find someone who you like. And that can schedule your appointments for weeks or months in advance, from my own personal experience. It’s a very common practice where they schedule in advance. Once you’ve gone a few times then they ask, do you wanna make this a reoccurring appointment or at least that’s how it’s happened with me. I don’t know about everybody.

 

[sunlight7]

Thank you all for replying. He even blocked me from WhatsApp I was never disrespectful or crossed any boundaries with him. I barely can talk about what I feel, this just sucks I really can't understand how some people can practise this profession like this.

Wow, I have some choice words for this man. And I am with you I can’t understand how people like that can practice this profession. if they have an online rating system, I would definitely put in your experience maybe to save someone from going through it ….only if you’re comfortable!

even if you had been disrespectful or anything, he’s still in the medical profession he should’ve handled it appropriately versus ghosting. I mean I can say others wouldn’t have handled it as respectfully as you have, because again, just thinking about it pisses me off. I’m sure he treats many other people the way he’s treated you, this is just the person he is which doesn’t sound very nice. The way he acts has nothing to do with you at ALL, so try your best not to take it to heart I know it’s hard because I tend to do that myself.

I hope this one horrible therapist doesn’t spoil you on the idea! Believe me the ones I’ve been to throughout the years have been so nice and great. The one I saw long-term for my ADHD and dyslexia issues I stopped going, because he retired. I would’ve kept going if he hadn’t retired and with the person I’m seeing now I don’t see myself anytime soon quitting. :) there are good ones out there!

Sorry for some repetitive or run-on sentences! I’m just putting it out there because I do have dyslexia and I am self-conscious about my writing so if you’re wondering if I repeat myself in posts… I’m not meaning to. That’s why I work with numbers in like the math better in school.

 

[Aliveo]

Thank you all for replying. He even blocked me from WhatsApp I was never disrespectful or crossed any boundaries with him. I barely can talk about what I feel, this just sucks I really can't understand how some people can practise this profession like this.

@GalwayGirl Hello sorry that you are having such an experience of abandonment - there are plenty of good people, really good people practicing therapy out there and MOST of them know how to keep clear workable boundaries with their clients...A connection with your therapist on WhatsApp may appear helpful but as you have learned is very painful when the power differential between you is not even. May you find just the right person to help you on your way.

 

[Muttly]

That's really rotten. I know it's painful but it is good in a lot of ways. This therapist was not giving you what you need and didn't sound a good fit. Now you have the chance to reach out and find a new therapist. I don't say that to diminish your feelings. The pain you are feeling is totally valid.