My wife was physically/emotionally/mentally abused as a kid. When she's triggered & out of control, she lashes out. Some of the people I've talked to have dismissed what I said like: "Ohh you're a big guy - you can take it". I AM a big guy & I CAN withstand it - but taking blows from someone is undignified and horrible for the relationship/the family/our daughter. I'm at a loss. Help me understand.