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My Wife Just Told Me To Go Kill Myself Because Of My Combat Related Ptsd

Discussion in 'Military & Emergency Services' started by Jason Foreman, Sep 9, 2016.

  1. Jason Foreman

    Jason Foreman New Member

    Is there a way end the revolving door of constant pain and the feeling of no hope maybe she is right I'm alone and lost in my state of mind I call my therapist and it never ends it maybe she is right I have tried everything I can think of to stop the madness once it starts to flare up it becomes more and more unbearable I told the therapist I can't do it help me I'm literly a stranger in my own mind I beg please help but my condition has driven everyone away even family HELP any thing I can't do it I just can't watch her cry the kids are seeing a strange person I won't go outside because u can't even look at my self the sleep deprivation is unrelenting the isolation us due to my fear of what people see maybe she is right tho every psych profession seems to brush it off well I just can't any more not alone thanks if you took the time to read my last ditch effort in search of any other way
    illusionist and shimmerz like this.
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  3. anemone

    anemone Member

    Killing yourself isn't the answer...you still have your family, your children who love you. You're still you...even though you're trapped in your mind and can only see darkness, you're still you.

    You're fragile right now, and that's ok. Its ok to be fragile. The hell you've gone through is something that's so so hard to understand from an outside view. But even if you feel alone...there's so many others who feel the same way. Who went through similar experiences you went through. Whos hearts are just as fragile.

    You can make it. You can survive all this. You can trek through that darkness you feel trapped in because even though your mind is fragile, your soul is still strong.

    Are there any other psychologists in your area? Maybe you can find another psychologist more open and caring.

    Please don't do anything drastic.....you can make it through this. You can survive, and someday even thrive. Everything seems so awful now, but your emotions might be running high and wild. Breathe. Think. Just let your mind adjust. You can do it.

    I believe in you. :)
    tiredtexan likes this.
  4. Sideways

    Sideways I'm a VIP Premium Member

    Without knowing you or your situation at all, there are reasons why I could be waaay off here, but it sounds like your wife is not a well lady right now.

    That's different from saying you need to take better care of her, because it sounds like taking care of yourself is hard enough right now. But that's sounds like pain and frustration talking and getting the better of her. When our emotions get overwhelming we can end up saying all sorts of crazy shite that we don't mean, yeah?

    You have kids? You have reasons to keep trying. Don't give up on them. They want a future with you.

    Is there some place that you can go to to get some time out? Sounds like the home environment is a bit of a contributing stressor at the moment. Even if it's just for a short while, some place where you can go and just breathe?
    Rain, illusionist, shimmerz and 2 others like this.
  5. Zoogal

    Zoogal I'm a VIP

    I'm sorry but any wife that would encourage their husband to kill himself is a wife you need to leave. Not. Cool. At. All.
    +littlebird, Richie, CarolynM and 5 others like this.
  6. EveHarrington

    EveHarrington _______ in progress. Premium Member

    Please don't be one of today's 22.....or of any day's 22. Help is out there. Have you considered inpatient treatment options? :hug:
    tiredtexan, Richie and trying2movefwd like this.
  7. Zoogal

    Zoogal I'm a VIP

    Jason does she know anything about PTSD?
    Rain, illusionist and shimmerz like this.
  8. Jason Foreman

    Jason Foreman New Member

    Thanks for the reply having nobody is hard to beg the VA or some other therapist gets me more helpless I totally think everyone thinks I'm horrible well I'm not I would give anything to have my life back at all you can take my arms my legs if it would stop I told my therapist how bad this and we'll this job at getting
    I'm stuck nowhere to go she knows that I get very little money from the government to compensate my condition I want a way out trust me
    Rain and shimmerz like this.
  9. Zoogal

    Zoogal I'm a VIP

    Jason slow down. It will be OK. I want you to order a self help book that will help you make sense of all this until VA gets off their butt. This one. I have it.

    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 9, 2016
    Rain likes this.
  10. Zoogal

    Zoogal I'm a VIP

    It is wonderful and has exercises to help you through some of this. $10 on Amazon.
    Rain likes this.
  11. Living in the 70s

    Living in the 70s "Go dté tú slán" Premium Member Donated

    Hey @Jason Foreman so sorry to read you are having such a hard time of it.

    Suicide is not the way - hang in there mate! Hang in there!

    It takes time - I know it is shitty when you are in it and you believe that it will never end. It is going to take time for you to improve - so give yourself the time!

    Just stay with us please!

    Keep posting and talking it out. Can you ring a crisis line?

    And you are so not alone! Many of us have been where you are now!

    I have wanted to kill myself - it took a lot of time and hard work but I got to the other side!
    Zoogal and shimmerz like this.
  12. Fadeaway

    Fadeaway I'm a VIP Donated

    Ouch, those words must have hurt deep but people often say that in anger and don't really mean it. It sounds like you could use some TLC and that she could benefit from therapy herself.
    Amack, Rain, illusionist and 2 others like this.
  13. Jason Foreman

    Jason Foreman New Member

    I get it I totally do it gets hard too hard lonely begging for assistance from the VA is a dead end street l have begged and begged pleading with them for Help when you think you have a place to go dedicated to the dangerous mental state that keeps hauntibg us and to make all attempts to say hey I'm really not coping with this well I feel like this is getting the best of me and they don't do anything but hey I now know first hand they will let you die and not blink an eye I'm not saying I'll become one thus evening but I know in dead serious when u say hey this may be more than something I can Handel on my own only to find out they don't care is ruff u get it now I see why the 22 is what it's if they don't help me when I'm having a terrible episode it will happen because I now know how it feels to beg for your sanity and be told oh well it hurts because it truly kills you to break and beg for help and be told no well hey them saying no the past 2 days made me want to do it right then if I did I would find Mr No and show him that I was telling the truth see they drove me to plan it out so point is I now have a set in stone plan to so as of now the plan is there if I get to that point I got it all handled I never thought I would be driven to this it's sad to have to even go forward so I just litterly know why it's because they refuse to help so yeah it's almost like being told hurry up and kill yourself you can barrow my gun sad is all i can say eye opening to me and betrayed I'm in full on might as well do it because begging gets you nothing so I feel sorry so sorry it has to go this far never thought this would progress as rapidly as it is at the moment I did what I could
    Rain likes this.
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