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Near death experience

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by sonicwhite, Apr 16, 2018.

  1. sonicwhite

    sonicwhite Policy Enforcement Banned

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    We have never really known what the trigger was for all my symptoms. But fearing I’m at Gods judgment and things of that nature have maybe me realize that when I almost died of a drug overdose and the fear that gripped me during those moments are apart of PTSD. Even tho we have always known it was there. We couldn’t figure out what the root cause was.

    I think this is why I get so happy when I feel the Lord will welcome me into heaven but as soon as I backslide the fear of hell is all too consuming.


    Just I know what it feels like to almost die. I know that fear. And the flashbacks and disconnect from reality are catching up quickly.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 16, 2018
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  3. Justmehere

    Justmehere Defying the odds Moderator Premium Member

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    As far as theology, you can’t lose God’s love. He’s got you even when you run.

    Your theology mirrors your mental health, but that’s not how God works. God is steady. Never changing.
    A lingering question: what led you to overdose? People who are happy and mentally well don’t generally go out and overdose on drugs.

    Work on your recovery, maintaining sobriety, and the big questions like heaven and hell will work themselves out too. NA or Celebrate Recovery are great places to connect with others struggling with these same questions.
     
  4. sonicwhite

    sonicwhite Policy Enforcement Banned

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    I was delusional and thought after I got out of jail that I was in a dawn of the dead movie.

    I didn’t want to get ate up so I overdosed on XTC. After that I was in jail and I was freaking out so bad that they had to shoot me up with a jet injection of Ativan.

    I remember feeling like I was minutes from dying and reciting the Lord’s Prayer. After that it was only the beginning of my pain.
     
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  5. Justmehere

    Justmehere Defying the odds Moderator Premium Member

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    What landed you in jail fighting delusions?
     
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  6. sonicwhite

    sonicwhite Policy Enforcement Banned

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    Doing drugs everyday without stopping. I was on everything but H. I was losing my ex. I thought I had given her HIV.

    I was delusional because I had tripped mushrooms and I went downhill from there.
     
  7. Justmehere

    Justmehere Defying the odds Moderator Premium Member

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    Why did you first start using and abusing drugs?

    What’s your plan to stay sober through any flashbacks or any other symptoms related to the overdose so that you don’t risk dying again?
     
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  8. sonicwhite

    sonicwhite Policy Enforcement Banned

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    Just listen to the docs. Therapy. I’m doing this for me. I can’t function anymore so I have to work at getting better.

    I smiled weed at twelve. To eighteen than I turned to meth XTC or anything that could get me high.

    I will get better but I have to work at it. I won’t go against the docs order. If they ever put me on a benzo it will be at their time.

    I refuse to give into drug addiction. I’m just getting sicker the way I was doing it.

    I’m ready to feel better.
     
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  9. Fadeaway

    Fadeaway I'm a VIP Donated

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    Did you receive medical treatment for the nde? You mentioned before that your dad was abusive. I have always figured that was the case of the PTSD because it seems you had PTSD long before the things you have said in the past caused your PTSD, but they were always things that are a symptom not a cause. The drugs are a symptom, not a cause. You can't get PTSD from drug use. You need to look further into your past with the guidance of a therapist.
     
  10. sonicwhite

    sonicwhite Policy Enforcement Banned

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    No I was locked in jail and didn’t even know how to use the phone.

    I think I was depressed but I was so hardheaded that my dads abuse didn’t effect me like PTSD.
     
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