We have never really known what the trigger was for all my symptoms. But fearing I’m at Gods judgment and things of that nature have maybe me realize that when I almost died of a drug overdose and the fear that gripped me during those moments are apart of PTSD. Even tho we have always known it was there. We couldn’t figure out what the root cause was. I think this is why I get so happy when I feel the Lord will welcome me into heaven but as soon as I backslide the fear of hell is all too consuming. Just I know what it feels like to almost die. I know that fear. And the flashbacks and disconnect from reality are catching up quickly.