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Queenbee22

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Hello, my partner has been off work since August with PTSD. He has been attending weekly therapy since November. He is not on meds.
he is unbearable to live with. SO angry and SO short tempered. My son is 8 and he is the target of his temper. I have gotten into so many fights over this.
tonight when I got home from work OH was helping son with his homework. He was yelling and calling him the slowest kid ever and he’s not concentrating.
I stepped in. But OH hovers...ds can’t stop crying. When oh walks away DS says to me “please get rid of him”

????

I just have no idea what to do. I’m so at a loss. I’m trying to do everything. And I’m drowning.
he needs meds. What can I say to get him to see the doctor???

What do I say to my son???

so lost....
 
I’m sorry you and your son are going through this. I understand how hard it is trying to figure out what’s best. Sounds like he’s in the beginning of his therapy and it always get bad before it can get better. The person that needs to come first in all this is your son. Verbal and emotional abuse is only going to hurt him. Boundaries need to be set. Just because your partner has PTSD doesn’t mean he can be a jacka**. Do you and your son have a place you can go to when this behaviour starts?
 
It is not OK for him to target your son, no matter what mental health issues he may be having. The kids always come first.

It is OK to have limits and boundaries even if your husband is mentally ill. It’s an easy supporter trap to excuse shitty behavior because they’re not well, but it makes living with a sufferer unbearable. He does not have the right to spread the misery around. It is his responsibility to manage his behaviors, even when he is stressed or triggered.

I would find a time when he is calm and have a chat with him about the way he treats your son. You don’t have to allow your kid to be be a target. My sufferer lashes out verbally at times, and I do not tolerate it. I remove myself from the situation every time. He can do as he pleases, but I’m not standing there and being an open target. I leave and he can holler at the wall for all I care. He has zero say in this. It’s my boundary. I’m not controlling anybody’s behavior but my own.
 
My son is 8 and he is the target of his temper. I have gotten into so many fights over this.
tonight when I got home from work OH was helping son with his homework. He was yelling and calling him the slowest kid ever and he’s not concentrating.

This is abuse. Verbal and emotional abuse is real and really damaging. It's not ok and mental illness does not excuse it. Treat it as you would any abuse being done to your kids. That's my 2 cents.
 
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