Need support

Moodygem

Learning
Just recently came back on here. Posted in April or May about having full on PTSD symptoms requiring leave from my work as a health care provider. All due to coronavirus craziness of course.

I’ve been doing tele-therapy and it is helping me. I’ve been able to have light days again. In our state we’ve been able to meet people outside. So I’ve been going for lots of walks with friends on trails. All good stuff.

Anyway I’m having wicked anxiety this week. I was bit by a raccoon last week and had to start the rabies vaccination process. Had a ton of shots the first night that hurt more than anything. It brought up past childhood medical trauma as a toddler that I am working through in therapy. I was scared too death to get the second shot which felt nothing like the first so I’m not as scared of the next two. Phew.

Two days later I got hit in the head with a large metal and glass hummingbird feeder. It fell on my head and broke. I got a cut and bled but was ok. I had been feeling great. That night I had a huge headache and neckache. Headaches ever since so I am pretty sure I have a concussion. Bad neck pain today.

Just feeling like FML at this point. I started doing better now it’s like a triple test. A rock hit my windshield and it cracked as well Two days ago. Exercise and activity are what have been keeping me sane and now I have to just rest because of the head injury. I’m on the couch now and it’s beautiful outside.

I realize I put this under the relationship category. I just don’t know what a healthy spouse response to all this is. I drove myself to the Ed for the rabies stuff crying. Called me a wuss after I told him about how much the shots affected me the next day. I ran in the house after the head injury and he could’ve cared less. I had blood all in my hair. I thought he would show some concern. Nada.

I was triggered by the media coverage of the death of George Floyd (saw the pics etc). All of it just overwhelmed me. I approached my husband to talk about it and he yelled at me for bugging him. I left the room and self-soothed. He apologized later but I almost dissociated and haven’t done that for years. I know the trucks to stay grounded and used them.

I’m at a point where I know this can’t be normal everyday frustration. He’s a functional alcoholic that has been worse due to coronavirus. I’m hoping to get involved in some Alan-on meetings soon.

I just feel like I’m always on my own here. Alone with my fears and when I’m sick. I hate to even tell him I’m sick or that I’m hurt. I end up feeling rejected. It’s like living with a room mate. I can’t talk to him about anything and if I did he won’t remember in a day or so anyway.

I’m considering offering to buy him out of the house. I don’t even know how to go about any of this. How to talk to someone about a divorce when you can’t even talk to them?
 

whiteraven

MyPTSD Pro
I was bit by a raccoon last week and had to start the rabies vaccination process

Oh crap. I have not had the rabies vaccines but I remember my dad talking about how bad they hurt.

Two days later I got hit in the head with a large metal and glass hummingbird feeder.

Ugh. So sorry you are having such a bad streak!

I realize I put this under the relationship category. I just don’t know what a healthy spouse response to all this is. I drove myself to the Ed for the rabies stuff crying. Called me a wuss after I told him about how much the shots affected me the next day. I ran in the house after the head injury and he could’ve cared less. I had blood all in my hair. I thought he would show some concern. Nada.

So...I'm not in a relationship (I don't even usually read this part of the forum), but I'm pretty darn sure that how he responded is not the way a caring partner would.

I just feel like I’m always on my own here. Alone with my fears and when I’m sick. I hate to even tell him I’m sick or that I’m hurt. I end up feeling rejected. It’s like living with a room mate. I can’t talk to him about anything and if I did he won’t remember in a day or so anyway.

That's really awful. I'm sorry you are so alone and without support.

I’m considering offering to buy him out of the house. I don’t even know how to go about any of this. How to talk to someone about a divorce when you can’t even talk to them?

Any idea how he might respond? Most important thing is to stay safe. When my mom and dad divorced, the two never ever talked to each other, except through us. My dad just said to my mom one day, "I want a divorce." She didn't even respond and beat him to the punch by filing the next day. LOL So...if you think he won't talk to you or take you seriously, then you might have to just get an attorney and file.

Do you have someone else to confide in, in the meantime?
 

Moodygem

Learning
Oh crap. I have not had the rabies vaccines but I remember my dad talking about how bad they hurt.



Ugh. So sorry you are having such a bad streak!



So...I'm not in a relationship (I don't even usually read this part of the forum), but I'm pretty darn sure that how he responded is not the way a caring partner would.



That's really awful. I'm sorry you are so alone and without support.

Thanks for responding. I think my marriage has just come down to the wire. The lack of empathy or love or concern is just too much to bear. I know I deserve better. I have so much going on and I just want tenderness.

I talk to my therapist. I have two friends I meet up with and feel able to bring up stuff. If I divorced I would have a good support network. Friends that might even stay over at times when I’m alone.

I just don’t see him working on his issues and the drinking anytime soon. And right now during this hard time for me its just makes my life so much harder. I’m trying to be healthy and dissolve toxic relationships. I just don’t see things changing here. Been married 10 yrs this summer and I’ve just had it.
 

ncman65

New Here
My dear friend - and I MEAN friend - if you need someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on - know that I am always here to listen. Sometimes, that's all we want - is just someone to listen and not judge. I know how difficult it is to be in a one-sided relationship. My heart goes out to you ever so gently ... Please know that people DO care ... I care!
u have someone else to confide in, in the
 
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Kittie

Confident
Sorry you've had so many negative things all at once, that's a lot of stress. I'm glad you have supportive friends!

Divorce is sad, but staying in a relationship that is hurting you mentally, emotionally or physically is sadder. If he isn't trying to improve his problem, that's more difficult for you. Only he has the power to try to change himself. I'm glad you have a good support system, that's so important. I wish you the best when you discuss it with him.
 
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