Need to pull an allnighter (at home work) and I'm panicking, help...

[SeekingAfrica]

I'm behind on a deadline that has to happen today(foreign client) and it's already after 8pm here.
Not sure it will be all night, but it will be a long one at the very least and I'm in PTSD flare panic more since few things and then hearing about the earthquake in Turkey (I'm a country away but I guess PTSD doesn't care about that)... I'm the least in control I've been in a while. I missed a day of meds because I didn't have time to get them. I'm on the deadline. I'm afraid I'll fall asleep, I'm panicky and so shaky I shook my own desk and then got startled... Earlier my hands and feet were all numb and tingly and I almost fainted.
It's been a rough few weeks and this is the worst and I literally have 0 faith I'll pull this off.

Allnighters have been a trigger I haven't been able to push through for a while.
But now I must.
I got spooked earlier and wrote I'm safe like a zillion times in panic.
I journal but it's never this panicky and ugly. Then I ripped pages. Like it's all getting out of my grip. Still working though. But must take breaks or I'll go crazy. Please help!! Distractions, tips, anything...

 

[Friday]

Try shutting all the curtains (paper on windows that don’t have them), turning on all the lights, reset your clocks to H/AST (Hawaiian Aleutian Standard time; presently? 11:21 in the morning)… then go through your morning routine from beginning to end. Showers, coffee, breakfast, quick workout, whatever. Don’t skip steps. Reapply makeup, brush teeth, new clothes, the whole 9 yards. Like you just had a leisurely lie in, and now that it’s almost noon? Time to get the day going.

It works a treat on JetLag… doing the stuff you’re “supposed” to be doing during that time of day kicks in all kinds of subconscious “Right. It’s morning.” kinds of things.

Just don’t forget to set an alarm for the altered deadline time. 😉

 

[SeekingAfrica]

Try shutting all the curtains (paper on windows that don’t have them), turning on all the lights, reset your clocks to H/AST (Hawaiian Aleutian Standard time; presently? 11:21 in the morning)… then go through your morning routine from beginning to end. Showers, coffee, breakfast, quick workout, whatever. Don’t skip steps. Reapply makeup, brush teeth, new clothes, the whole 9 yards. Like you just had a leisurely lie in, and now that it’s almost noon? Time to get the day going.

It works a treat on JetLag… doing the stuff you’re “supposed” to be doing during that time of day kicks in all kinds of subconscious “Right. It’s morning.” kinds of things.

Just don’t forget to set an alarm for the altered deadline time. 😉

Solid advice, would never occur to me, I'll try. And I panic each time I look at the clock or think someone from the apartments around may hear that I'm up all night. Blinds already down because of screen glare.

Just send 1 bit and there are 5 more and I'll still have to wake normal time tomorrow to invoice. I made coffee but can't stop crying, how do I stop that to do all the things?? I feel so hopeless. Or do I just try to do them anyway?

 

[SeekingAfrica]

@Friday Later: That advice was genius, thank you! OK, I'm really tired but so far it's still kinda working. Looking at my clock on the laptop and seeing a morning time it's such a mind trick.... but it worked! It's only calming instead of making me panic. I look at the time and my mind is like, okay, we have time, we can do a bit more... my room will be messy in the morning, probably me too, but hey,I'm still working!!!

Wow. Can't believe I didn't know this can be done and it works!! The mind is a weird thing ...

 

[arfie]

gentle empathy, seeki. the most important thing i've learned from being self-employed is just how stupid bosses really can be.

jazzercise helps me through the all-nighters. dancing to some upbeat music helps me stay awake and channels the anxieties.

steadying support while you give it your best shot.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

@arfie
Thank you! I do go to ballet and jazz+contemporary so dance does help me... I didn't want to bother the neighbors but I was shaky so I put wireless headphones (sti.l so happy for that gift, best thing ever) so I did freestyle some upbeat songs earlier until I was shaking from being tired.



I think I'm too... not okay.... to do this without breaks, my back doesn'tdo well, but I do panic whenever I have to return to it... not sure I can finish all but I've had a few panic attacks today so I think this is the hardest I've pushed myself in a while. Still panicking, still trying...

 

[arfie]

I think I'm too... not okay.... to do this without breaks,

when i am at my best, i hold those breaks as a critical piece of STAYING okay. rest is a productive activity.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

when i am at my best, i hold those breaks as a critical piece of STAYING okay. rest is a productive activity.

Planning many self-care/get my home and myself in order breaks today.
And breaking plans to bits. It's just where I'm at right now.

But will remember this for when better.