LoveIsHealing
Learning
I struggle with feeling worthless and ashamed a lot. My parents were both pretty hard core alcoholics, and both of them were sexually assaulted when I was little. My Dad also had PTSD that was never treated, and depression.
He would go off for weeks at a time and leave my Mom and I while he went on drinking binges and lived on the street with homeless people. He was living in a park when he was sexually assaulted by a man in the bathroom. My Mom was sexually assaulted more than once by different people while drinking and never reported any of them...mostly because she was afraid my Dad would find out.
There was also pretty extreme violence between my parents, and I was taken away and put into a few different foster homes by Child Protective Services. One of the foster homes was very abusive...physically and emotionally, but not sexually at least.
Alcohol can turn good people into monsters. I was never molested or sexually assaulted, however, I am so traumatized that these things happened to my parents. They are good people, they were just really screwed up. My Dad unfortunately drank himself to death when I was eleven. My Mom did stop drinking when I was in high school, but has struggled with pretty severe depression my whole life. I am terrified of men, and have never even had a boyfriend, and sometimes I feel like such a worthless freak. Like who has things like that happen in their family?
Neither Me or my Mom have ever gotten over the trauma and shame of our past. I've felt so isolated for a long time, and my Mom has isolated herself from family and friends. We both have serious anxiety. I know we are not worthless people, but I just feel like such dirty trash sometimes...like we can't do anything right...and I want to stop feeling that way. We are not worthless, now I hope we can both get it together, overcome our past, and believe it.
He would go off for weeks at a time and leave my Mom and I while he went on drinking binges and lived on the street with homeless people. He was living in a park when he was sexually assaulted by a man in the bathroom. My Mom was sexually assaulted more than once by different people while drinking and never reported any of them...mostly because she was afraid my Dad would find out.
There was also pretty extreme violence between my parents, and I was taken away and put into a few different foster homes by Child Protective Services. One of the foster homes was very abusive...physically and emotionally, but not sexually at least.
Alcohol can turn good people into monsters. I was never molested or sexually assaulted, however, I am so traumatized that these things happened to my parents. They are good people, they were just really screwed up. My Dad unfortunately drank himself to death when I was eleven. My Mom did stop drinking when I was in high school, but has struggled with pretty severe depression my whole life. I am terrified of men, and have never even had a boyfriend, and sometimes I feel like such a worthless freak. Like who has things like that happen in their family?
Neither Me or my Mom have ever gotten over the trauma and shame of our past. I've felt so isolated for a long time, and my Mom has isolated herself from family and friends. We both have serious anxiety. I know we are not worthless people, but I just feel like such dirty trash sometimes...like we can't do anything right...and I want to stop feeling that way. We are not worthless, now I hope we can both get it together, overcome our past, and believe it.