Need words of affirmation please, sick but afraid to see doctor

Self-Determined

MyPTSD Pro
Hi,
I got an illness that is hurting so bad. Virus or something. The physical symptoms are massive migraine, sore throat, and coughing.

What’s worse is the SI and depression that feel as bad as it ever was. I had been doing really well with those and not experienced any since August, but it’s grinding on me. My body started constant trembling again.

I live alone after leaving my abusive husband this year. I would never go back but being alone hurts too right now. I would really appreciate any comforting words of affirmation. My littlest parts are crying inside over the mean harsh words the inner critic spews out while I’m in pain.
 

Friday

Moderator
See a Doctor :) Friday’s Orders

Maaaaaybe not the kind of affirmation you were looking for? But critics rarely tell us to do something good for ourselves; like seek medical attention, rule out anything big bad getting a toehold, and take medication to reduce symptoms & help our bodies fight infection, so that we can feel better faster, and be better faster.

Also reminding push fluids, nutritious broths, & rest.

Taking care of yourself? Is a good thing :happy:
 

Self-Determined

MyPTSD Pro
Was thinking that too as I laid in bed just now. I used to avoid doctors at all cost. Why? I made up stories about them. Not seeing them fit my narrative that I deserved punishment.

Those thoughts are so pre-recovery! That’s baby talk. I’m a big girl now! ;). Thank you Friday!

Oh, just remembered my dream! I had a soft infant that needed washing and changing. Gee, wonder if that represents me! :)
 

Mee

MyPTSD Pro
Well done on reaching out for help! ( you can ask for help).

Friday is right, see a dr. You also need nurturing foods. If you are being sick with your migraine than might mean crackers. Then progressing to chicken broth and jello.
 

Self-Determined

MyPTSD Pro
Thank you Mee! I went to the doctor. I was proud of myself.

Turns out I do not have Strep. Also she said that they aren’t migraines just because they hurt bad, rather headaches. Got it.

I had a little breakdown at the doctor. She tried to swab my throat and I panicked. I don’t remember anyone ever pushing it that far down. I started gagging. I pulled away reflexively. She tried again and with big eyes I almost stood up and pushed her. One more time and I said stop. By then I was crying.

I felt like I was such a bad girl for not being able to comply. I also wondered if I was having flash backs. I have experienced trauma surrounding my throat and mouth. Also, she said the last time I went to that clinic was August 2017. That was when I got my first bladder infection and it was a couple weeks later that I disclosed the CSA which ended up tearing my family apart (for the better).

I guess the good thing is that I pulled myself together. Tried to explain that I might be having flashbacks (she didn’t respond). But I ended the appointment stable and sustaining small talk. Afterward I bought painkillers and asked my littles what they wanted—a new soft fuzzy blanket and new soft fuzzy socks. Done!
 

Self-Determined

MyPTSD Pro
Best thing about being sick right now is the ability to sing in a lower register! :D Bonus!

Also, I *needed* to hear the nurse tell me to take more painkillers more often and to alternate kinds I was taking. Definitely worth going to the doctor. Peace of mind and a sense that I can do this.

Yay for reaching out! Yay for caring people! Yay for receiving help! Yay for actions taken!

The headache is pretty much gone and the sore throat is under control with the meds. Moving into faucet nose segment of the cold. Feeling a little better and it’s so nice.
 
Top