Networking Anxiety

RussellSue

MyPTSD Pro
So I am working on trying to get started as a freelancer - doing writing stuff - not for my fantasy novels but for businesses. But the thing is that I have not been involved in social networking in some years.

My fiance Joshua died 9 years ago and while he was sick, one of his "friends" kicked him a number of time in his legs and his diabetes didn't handle this well. I will not go into detail there. At some point, I went on a very minor rant about how his so-called friends had treated him before he died and one of my coworkers naturally thought I was insane. Later she said so on social media. I bailed and never returned. It wasn't because of her so much as it was because of bullshit friends which was a major theme for me on social media back then.

I had a flashback to Joshua's legs when a local board member slapped my husband in the head a couple of years back. It became time to find a less physically abusive town to live in or risk imprisonment.

Alright, I am off topic. The point is that I am currently reaching out to a few people I haven't talked to in a while and thinking about joining facebook again and it's triggering. I am so used to getting put down for being "a crazy person" and watching my friends act as if I should be fine with that - I am so used to socializing equaling bullying, as far back as I can remember.

I am doing this thing, don't get me wrong. I'm doing it and when I start to feel my blood boil over the strange social garbage that goes on, I vow to come here and TALK SHIT, take a walk or do anything other than address it on social media (unless I really, really should) because social networking isn't for me, it's really a business thang. I won't connect with "them" even if they do send me friend requests. Nevertheless, it makes me uncomfortable. I don't like it. I wish I knew I could do without it.

That is all.
 

RussellSue

MyPTSD Pro
I am already on LinkedIn. It may come to just doing that. I certainly haven't been in a hurry to hook back up.

It just feels like everything I see pertaining to getting work involves social media and when they use that term, all I think about is facebook. It may just be a bad thing for me to mess with.
 

Friday

Moderator
Keep in mind... personal accounts, personal professional accounts, and business accounts? Are 3 different things. Although many people blur them, the more professional the business, the less personal crap is on their page; it’s not like the CEO of AT&T or Starbucks is arguing politics with their mother in law and high school gym teacher and the neighbors nanny on the business page, right?

So, personally, I would consider not even using your name on your business account. Just the name of the business.
 

Survivor3

MyPTSD Pro
I am already on LinkedIn. It may come to just doing that. I certainly haven't been in a hurry to hook back up.

It just feels like everything I see pertaining to getting work involves social media and when they use that term, all I think about is facebook. It may just be a bad thing for me to mess with.
I guess it just comes down to How you use Facebook. You can use it in a very minimal way.
 

Ronin

MyPTSD Pro
You might think on what forms of social presence online you're comfortable with and for what (intended) audience...

Then go look for a platform meeting your comfort level...

And then, within that platform, look for like-minded individuals, groups or organizations.

It's not like you have to engage with everything just because it's within ear shot of you. You can as well let go of anything not relevant to you.
 

RussellSue

MyPTSD Pro
Everybody has great input here. Thanks.

When I was living in rural Oregon, I think I became very confused about some things. On one hand, I think I maintained rigid control over my values and whatnot but there are significant social consequences to not giving people their way when you live in a very small place. For instance, not friending or unfriending someone could become an actual barrier to employment and sure that's a crap job anyway but when there are only 4 other remotely possible jobs, it becomes a real thing.

I am not there, anymore. There are real lines that exist and people know and accept that. Besides, there are not social circles here in the city where any of this matters. At least not in my meager world.

I am coming around.

Thanks again.

For 14 years it felt like every damned thing came down to pissing off the locals - which I am proud to say, I did plenty of, but I also had to pick my battles...

It's safe to say that right here and now, a year after leaving, my brain still thinks I am there and that the same rules apply. But they do not.
 

Survivor3

MyPTSD Pro
For 14 years it felt like every damned thing came down to pissing off the locals - which I am proud to say, I did plenty of, but I also had to pick my battles...

It's safe to say that right here and now, a year after leaving, my brain still thinks I am there and that the same rules apply. But they do not.
Yeah if you've moved then the same rules don't apply. ? you can be free of it!
 

whiteraven

MyPTSD Pro
I am doing the same thing, except also with proofreading and editing. Truthfully, it depends on how you plan to approach it as whether or not you'll need social media. There are some freelancing sites where you do all of your work and promotion on them. There are also some job sites that allow you to look for remote work only and they often have writing work.

It just feels like everything I see pertaining to getting work involves social media and when they use that term, all I think about is facebook. It may just be a bad thing for me to mess with.

If you plan to write a book, then the publisher will absolutely want you active on social media. But if you're doing freelance projects, you generally don't need to be.

I have a business account on FB for my animal-related business and my name is not visible anywhere to anybody, so that's a possibility if you end up needing to create an account. Mine *is* associated with my personal account, but they don't interact and I don't think you need to have both.
 
K

KayK

I am already on LinkedIn. It may come to just doing that. I certainly haven't been in a hurry to hook back up.

It just feels like everything I see pertaining to getting work involves social media and when they use that term, all I think about is facebook. It may just be a bad thing for me to mess with.
Can you use a different word to reference social media- rename it? My therapist is always hammering away about ‘mindfulness’ which seems to trigger me. We agreed to call it ‘awareness’ which definitely helps.
 
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