I'm sorry to hear that you experienced such overwhelming embarrassment. It can be difficult to discuss sensitive topics and memories, especially when they are related to traumatic experiences. The mind has a way of creating associations and linking certain visuals or words to specific emotions and memories.Today I used pants and clenched my legs together and I thought I’d die or embarrassment. I later wanted to say that pulling my pants off reminded me of when a parent would tell me to drop em (pants) for a beating. No dice, I was over my quota for embarrassment. I get that these are not inherently sexual terms but the visual in my head is accompanied by images that are and while I know my therapist cannot see them I can.
It's important to remember that therapy is a safe space where you can explore and process these experiences without judgment or shame. Your therapist is there to support you and help you navigate through these difficult emotions and memories. They can work with you to find alternative ways to express and discuss your experiences that feel more comfortable for you.
If visual images or associations become overwhelming during therapy, it can be helpful to discuss this with your therapist. They may use different therapeutic techniques to help you manage and process these visualizations, such as grounding exercises or trauma-focused interventions.
Remember that healing from trauma is a gradual and non-linear process, and it's essential to prioritize your well-being and comfort throughout therapy. Your therapist is there to support you, and together, you can find strategies that work best for you to explore and process your experiences.
If you have any further questions or concerns, please feel free to share.