• 💖 [Donate To Keep MyPTSD Online] 💖 Every contribution, no matter how small, fuels our mission and helps us continue to provide peer-to-peer services. Your generosity keeps us independent and available freely to the world. MyPTSD closes if we can't reach our annual goal.

Childhood New flashbacks

Status
Not open for further replies.

Digz

MyPTSD Pro
I've been at this recovery business a long time now and travel along pretty well most of the time, dealing with things as I go.

But recently I've been severely anxious, had the first panic attack I've had in over a decade and yesterday one of the strongest, most hideous new flashbacks came to light. Now, I'm struggling. I feel very alone. I feel very fed up. I'll keep fighting because it's what I do but sometimes I just get so damn sick of fighting through this. Sometimes I just have these moments when I'm so sick of being strong and today I'm tired. I'm just so tired of it all.

I know things will get back to normal eventually once I work through this, but I resent the fact that I have to be ripped away from a good life I've built while I deal with trauma caused when I was a child because of someone who cared for noone.

I hate this beast that hides under the surface of my life and attacks the happiness I've built whenever he likes.
 
First off I am so sorry you had such a painful flashback and panic attack. Would it maybe be time to adjust meds? My son recently had his readjusted and he's much more stable now. Also, we switched to a new therapist who he connects better with. That is helping immensely, as well.

For me its come down to constant input of the RIGHT messages. Taped to my mirror, the fridge, getting emails with the right message (devotions, podcasts, email newsletters, etc), following people/organizations with the right message on Social Media. I make sure I read books with those self-affirming messages. I usually have one non-fiction book going along with a fiction novel. The more consistent I am on this the better my outlook and the better my attitude toward myself and others. I am a Christian so I also add in a lot of bible reading time, devotions, prayer time, meditation, etc. Its been incredibly helpful to me. I do hope you are able to find what works for you! Blessings to you and yours.
 
I totally get it. There is something right under the surface of my brain right now that I am trying to keep buried until I get through some family stuff. It is so unsettling how this can be dormant for so long and then suddenly rear up.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top