Digz
MyPTSD Pro
I've been at this recovery business a long time now and travel along pretty well most of the time, dealing with things as I go.
But recently I've been severely anxious, had the first panic attack I've had in over a decade and yesterday one of the strongest, most hideous new flashbacks came to light. Now, I'm struggling. I feel very alone. I feel very fed up. I'll keep fighting because it's what I do but sometimes I just get so damn sick of fighting through this. Sometimes I just have these moments when I'm so sick of being strong and today I'm tired. I'm just so tired of it all.
I know things will get back to normal eventually once I work through this, but I resent the fact that I have to be ripped away from a good life I've built while I deal with trauma caused when I was a child because of someone who cared for noone.
I hate this beast that hides under the surface of my life and attacks the happiness I've built whenever he likes.
But recently I've been severely anxious, had the first panic attack I've had in over a decade and yesterday one of the strongest, most hideous new flashbacks came to light. Now, I'm struggling. I feel very alone. I feel very fed up. I'll keep fighting because it's what I do but sometimes I just get so damn sick of fighting through this. Sometimes I just have these moments when I'm so sick of being strong and today I'm tired. I'm just so tired of it all.
I know things will get back to normal eventually once I work through this, but I resent the fact that I have to be ripped away from a good life I've built while I deal with trauma caused when I was a child because of someone who cared for noone.
I hate this beast that hides under the surface of my life and attacks the happiness I've built whenever he likes.